


all that you've been missing (is standing in front of you)

by stacyb



Category: Cow Chop, The Creatures (Youtube RPF), uberhaxornova - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, NO Mary-Sue, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, Swearing, Timeline will be off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 53,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9186428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacyb/pseuds/stacyb
Summary: James felt like his life had ended, like he was waking up to his execution. But it was time for a change, time for a new life. With every death comes a rebirth...and maybe another chance to be happy.





	1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I took a ton of liberties with what exactly happened between the Creatures, the break up, and the timeline of events. I attempted to do this in a story format, but it just wasn't working out for me, so I tried for a chapter-by-chapter slow burn instead. Please don't take my story as a correct timeline of events...please.

When James opened his eyes, and his room came into focus, he realized it was honestly over. After nearly seven years of putting everything he had into a project, a company, he helped create, it was over. He was no longer a Creature. Neither was Aleks, Joe, or Aron. Technically Trevor never was, being only a freelancer who helped, but now he would never be. 

The night before consisted of James driving himself to a liquor store and buying the strongest thing he could find. He never used to drink heavily, only being what’s considered a ‘social drinker,’ but this happened to be extenuating circumstances. Leaving something you worked hard at was a difficult scenario to take up on your own. He may have woken up with a slight hangover this morning, but who could blame him for trying to numb the pain? 

Waking up the day after everything in your life fell apart felt like you are waking up to your execution. Doing this while being in the public eye? That felt like your execution was being filmed. How the YouTube community found out so quickly, James would probably never know. His phone was flooded with text messages and Twitter notifications from friends and fellow creators. They all basically said the same things: 

_“What happened?”_  
_“Are you okay?”_  
_“Do you want to talk?”_

And then one caught his eye:

_“James, I’m really sorry about all of this.”_

Jordan. That last one was from Jordan. It must have taken a lot of nerve to send a half-assed apology over text message, James thought begrudgingly. It didn’t mean he had to dignify it with an answer. That man didn’t deserve an answer. He knew at some point he would be face to face with him again. Hell, they lived in the same town, shopped at the same stores. James just hoped it would be when the memories faded and the pain numbed. 

No matter how much the fans would believe this was all over Stefani, it wasn’t. They weren’t that close. A couple dates and one night of partially-drunken sex didn’t make a relationship. It was the fact that someone he considered a best friend, hell a _brother_ , would go after a girl he was interested in. You just don’t do that shit. Jordan could have talked to James, not go behind his back, and _definitely_ not make it known she came into work with him because she was at his house that night. Apparently, Jordan didn’t learn the “bro code” very well.

No, this started a long time ago. The differences in opinion and creative process started the divide. What Jordan and Dan wanted for the company was very different from what some others wanted. It had been slowly simmering since Sly had left. With each member leaving, the pot boiled more. When Aleks came to James with his intention of leaving, James convinced him to stay, that he was trying to make it better. He couldn’t lose Aleks, too. Not his best friend, not the only other person outspoken enough to side with him during meetings. He couldn’t lose the one thing he looked forward to every day. It was the same day Aleks started really working out a James/Aleks channel. The office slowly divided, it was Jordan versus James. They were divided almost equally which put them at a standstill. The tipping point, the point where the pot boiled over and scorched the stove, was Stefani. That was the moment he saw who his real friends were, the ones who agreed what Jordan did was fucked up. 

Now that his previous life was over, he had an official meeting about his new channel, new life. 

He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was still in his jeans and shirt he wore the day before. Ein pushed her way into his bedroom and walked over, her nub of a tail wagging. Once she got closer she sniffed his pants, looked up at him, and walked away. Confused, James sniffed at his shirt. Ein was right, he did smell. So, first things first, a shower. He smelled like whiskey. 

After the shower, James wrapped a towel around his waist and went to the mirror. He hated what he saw. Hated that his back injury limited his exercise. Hated that he had gained weight to the point he only wore baggy clothes and hoodies. James felt he was on the brink of his mid-life crisis, and he was already done with it. After quickly drying off and getting dressed, his phone rang. Fearing it was just another person giving him condolences like he’d just buried someone important to him (although, in a way, he had), he eyed the display and saw Aleks’ smug face. 

“What?” James growled into the phone. 

_“Dude, I have a name. Cow Chop.”_

There was a second pause while James let it sink in what Aleks meant. “Cow Chop. How does any of that make sense, you fuck?”

 _“Couch Co-op. Couch op. Cow Chop.”_ When Aleks still didn’t get the response he was looking for, he dramatically sighed. _“Fucking say it slow, asshole. Your slow-ass brain will get it.”_

“No, I get it. I’m not sure I like it, but I get it.” Ein was prancing around James’ feet, wanting fed. He almost tripped over her and hissed out a swear before continuing. “I mean, it’s different, I’ll give you that.”

_“So, what I’m hearing is: Aleks, you’re amazing, talented, and so creative! I love the name, Aleks! Please let me suck your dick in appreciation!”_

“You fucking wish.” James said with a snort. “Yeah, okay, let’s roll with Cow Chop, see how it goes. Deal?”

_“Deal. Still meeting me at Outback later? Trevor, Joe and Aron are coming to discuss everything, too.”_

And all the emotions came slamming back. _The Great Creature Divide of 2016._ His metaphorical execution blasted over social media for all to see. The revelation that the people he thought had his back, didn’t. And the people who did have his back would follow him anywhere, even to an idea of a channel that wasn’t yet created, just an image in his and Aleks’ head.

James wasn’t sure what he did to deserve the loyalty his friends showed him. Joe came to Littleton just to work with him. Aron and Trevor fell in line with his dark humor and pranks. Aleks…well Aleks was an asshole, but he was James best friend. No matter what, James knew he would protect them. If he had to support them with his own money, he would. Just to make sure his friends were taken care of. It was the only thing that mattered to him anymore. 

_“James? Did you die?”_

“No such luck.” James said, snapping back into reality and realizing he was silent for too long. “Yeah, I’ll fucking be there.”


	2. Sinners and Saints

The waitress at Outback was really nice, and a fan. She either didn’t know about the Creatures incident, or just chose not to bring it up, which was great with James. It was a late dinner, and everyone was starving, so the meeting waiting until the food was gone. The waitress was cool about them not being typical guests that eat and leave. She just kept the drinks filled and left them alone otherwise. 

Aleks’ laptop was on the table with notes and ideas haphazardly thrown into a Word document. They had video ideas and skit ideas. James began getting excited about his new life and new direction. This channel was getting fleshed out. From series like Weird Side of YouTube to Foreign Import to Amazon Prime Time, they were using ideas they had tried to put into action before, but could never get the traction needed with all the drama of the office. Although James and Aleks were technically the faces of Cow Chop (which was growing on James, rather he admitted it or not), they made damn sure Joe, Aron, and Trevor knew they were part of it, too. Their ideas were listened to and valued. A lot different than before. 

Aron suggested making a to-do list, so James grabbed a pen and flipped over his place mat:

_What We Need to Make This Thing a Reality:  
1\. Look for a new office_

Working at the Creature office would have been awkward as fuck, and way too expensive, so that wasn’t an option. A whole new office complex was also expensive, and with no channel income, a stupid idea. Joe mentioned a house for rent he drove past on his way to Outback, which sounded better than their other options. With directions from Joe, James and Aleks had a bro date the next morning to check it out. 

The real estate company sent a man with no sense of humor, and a severe lack of understanding what they were going to do in the house. They toured it anyway. Small and cozy, and just enough rooms for what they needed, so they signed the lease. The real estate agent seemed happy to leave, to go home, so the guys were on their own with the keys. James asked Aleks to be the one to set up the move with Jordan, of which Aleks agreed. It was the first time Aleks didn’t argue with him about something, and James was grateful. Aleks made it even easier on James by setting it up for after the Creature office hours. 

That evening, the guys all gathered at the office for the last time. With the U-Haul truck idling in the parking lot, they began emptying offices and taking what belonged to them. The office almost felt like entering a funeral parlor to James. He could practically visualize his coffin setting in his office as he swept things off his desk into a box. The guys were joking and laughing and, although James tried to play along, he just wasn’t feeling it. Everything was so _final_. After this, James felt that the responsibility of taking care of his friends, of making sure they are happy and financially stable, fell to him. It was a heavy burden to carry, but one that James felt he had to carry on his own. 

Unloading the U-Haul didn’t happen until almost midnight. With how loud they were, James felt sure someone would call the cops. First they lost the key, so Aron climbed through the window. Then Joe fell out of the truck right on top of Trevor. The amount of swearing that happened would have made a sailor blush when they realized Trevor landed on top of Aleks’ favorite lamp. Aron pointed out the neighbors staring out the window, and James gave the cops ten minutes to show up. They had to look like criminals. Stupid criminals. Loud, swearing and clumsy criminals. 

The cops didn’t show, and the laughter didn’t stop. James still pretended to laugh, to be in on the jokes, but the humor never reached his eyes. They were on their own, for better or for worse, and it was terrifying. Sure, Aleks was confident. _“This is gonna be great, dude! You’ll see.”_ But what if Aleks’ confidence didn’t rub off on the channel? What if he was dragging his friends into something terrible? What if this channel ruined them instead of building them up? What if, this time, he couldn’t take care of his friends?

When the guys would call him out on his reserved attitude, James would claim being tired, or his back hurting. They didn’t need to know what was bothering him, he just wanted the move over with. 

The overwhelming feeling stayed with him all night, and all into the next few weeks, when the channel was still a budding idea and it took both him and Aleks boasting it on their respective channels to give it the views. He walked around in a haze, dreading the channel flopping, dreading Aleks looking at the statistics, dreading telling his friends he’d let them down. 

Then, the first paycheck came. It was better than he thought it would be, just enough to cover the rent and expenses. Then the second paycheck came, and it was more than the first. This time they had enough left over to give the guys a little extra pay. The channel was going well, which was a pleasant surprise. And, Aleks seemed happier, James noted. His smile reached his eyes, now, instead of looking faked. He wasn’t constantly angry, constantly feeling ignored. It made James feel like he was doing something right, like he was taking care of his friends. 

The fear of letting his friends down didn’t go away within the first couple months, it just buried itself under his skin. It wasn’t until Joe came into the house and asked James to speak with him privately that it popped out again. 

They went to the kitchen, where no one was hanging out. Joe wasn’t meeting James’ eyes, instead opting to glance over his shoulder or at the floor. James’ hadn’t seen Joe this anxious in quite a while. Something was eating at him. Something serious. James’ feeling of not being good enough started its mantra in his head. 

_This is it._

“Look, man…I want to talk with you about something.” 

_Joe isn’t happy here. You aren’t taking care of your friends._

“Do you remember Stacy?”

James was taken back. He was preparing himself for an _“I wanna leave”_ conversation, not Joe bringing up a girl he hasn’t seen in months. “The…the red head who used to edit when we were swamped?”

“Yeah, her.” Joe began kicking the toe of his shoe against the ground. James had to stop himself from saying about making black marks on the tile. “I, uh, ran into her last night at Walmart.” 

“…Okay.” 

“She was…all upset. She was trying to hide it, but her eyes were all red. So I made her sit down and talk. I mean, we always got along when we were at the office. She’s a sweet girl.” 

James nodded, urging Joe to continue.

Joe ran a hand through his long hair. “She has this job, she edits, like, commercials or something. Apparently, her fucking boss is a dick. Something about his son is, like, a supervisor. He’s using his dad being boss as a reason to hit on all the girls. Except, hitting on them stopped being good enough.” Joe stopped there, taking a deep breath before continuing. “He’s starting to touch them. Back them into corners and shit. She’s scared, man.”

“Joe, I hate to be ‘that guy,’ but why doesn’t she just quit?”

Joe let out a dry, humorless, laugh. “She’s tried. He’s stonewalling her. The boss tells the places these girls are trying to go to all this shit. He makes them all look terrible and now no one will hire them.” 

“Jesus Christ, dude, this shit is horrible.” 

Joe nodded. “Look, I know we don’t have the money to hire anyone, and that’s not what I’m asking. I just thought that she could use us as a reference? Maybe then she can get in somewhere else?” 

Aleks chose that time to walk in the room, catching the last part of the conversation. And, of course, added himself to it. “That’s all she wants? Just a reference?”

“Yeah, basically. She said she’ll help out, do whatever editing we need help with.” Joe was getting excited, thinking maybe he could help his friend out. 

“We already know the shit she can do, she does all that special effects shit. All that shit Jordan wouldn’t let us put in the videos, what’s why Jordan quit using her.” Aleks said, mouth full of potato chips. “Think she could help you guys out with that Heavy Rain shit?”

Joe nodded. “I bet she could. She’s good at that stuff.” 

“Okay, but are you sure she won’t want paid? I mean, she’s quitting her job and all.” James said, trying to figure out how much he and Aleks could scrape up between the two of them for a week of help.

“She sings.” Joe answered. “Her family owns this restaurant thing with live music, and she sings there on the weekends, with pay. She doesn’t technically have to work, she just does to keep busy. I think she has royalty from a couple songs she wrote, too. I mean you guys can ask her, but I’m sure her answer will be the same.” 

Aleks smiled, “Free help? Tell her she starts tomorrow.”


	3. Break Down

As a farm girl, Stacy was used to men talking dirty around her, and acting like disgusting pigs. But, being family, they never touched her, never backed her into a corner she couldn’t get out of. Her supervisor, Jason, didn’t get the ‘be a decent guy’ memo, and his father, the owner of the company, never got the ‘teach my kid not to be a dick’ memo either.

Her friend, Joe, had called her late the night before with amazing news. The guys he worked with were going to give her a stellar reference just for helping them do some special effects. Finally, maybe, her luck was turning around.

Sadly, that still meant she had to go to her job and officially quit. She was already promised a positive review, so she didn’t care if she looked bad leaving her job abruptly. Stacy was still apprehensive entering her old job, seeing the pervert again. Her boss, the old, sweaty man upstairs, was on a phone call, so she had to wait.

In the middle of thrumming out a beat with her fingers on her legs, Jason decided to make his way in the room. It was scary, she realized, that she recognized his footsteps. Keeping her head low, she hoped he would walk past her and not notice her, but no such luck was on her side.

“Stacy.” Jason practically purred out. “What are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I’m quitting.” Her answer was short, and maybe a little growled out, but she didn’t care.

He stepped closer to her, his expensive shoes coming into view as she stared at the floor. “Don’t be like that, honey. I’ll make it better.” She felt his hand comb through her hair, his other hand reaching for the zipper of his pants.

She pushed him back, hard. The anger that flashed through his eyes cut through her. In an instant, he was against her, pushing her into the wall. She struggled, kicking him between the legs in the process. Once he let go, once she was free, she ran into the boss’ office.

“I quit!” She yelled, breathless. She didn’t care he was still on the phone, she didn’t care whoever was on the other end could hear her. She just didn’t care. “I’m fucking done! Your son is going to rape someone, and you are sitting here doing _nothing_ about it. The suffering will be on _your_ head.”

Jason was still on his knees when she left the office. She hoped she popped a testicle, or broke his dick off. It was worth it.

When she pulled up in front of the Cow Chop house, she just sat in the car, breathing heavily. She had rushed out of that office so quickly she didn’t have time to really process what happened. He was so close this time, so close to getting what he wanted. A shudder ran through her, one that she couldn’t fight back, and tears were threatening to fall. If there was one thing Stacy hated, it was feeling vulnerable. Just when a tear was heavy enough to fall from her eyes, there was a slight knock on the window. She turned around to see James standing there, a questioning look on his face.

His muffled voice came through the window, “You okay?”

She tried, she really did, but the tears flowed from her like a dam broke. James pulled the car door open and knelt to her level. “Stacy, right?” She nodded, wiping her eyes. “Joe told us what was happening. With your boss or whatever. It’s fucked up, and I hope you know we aren’t going to do that to you.”

“I know,” Stacy sniffled out. “It’s not that. He-he did it again. I-I was scared.” The tears began flowing again and James eyes softened. He did the only thing he could think of, he pulled her against him and let her cry. Her fingers were tightly fisted in his shirt and he was sure it would be soaked with tears, but he didn’t care. She needed this.

“Are you officially done? Like do you have two weeks or something?”

“N-No,” Stacy said, wiping her eyes. “I just quit.”

“Well, we’re not gonna hold that against you.” James said with a sad smile. “I’m really sorry all this happened to you. But now that you’re out of there, he can’t get to you again.”

Stacy just nodded, trying to dry up her tears. “Thank you, James.”

James gave her a couple more minutes before asking her to go inside. Her eyes weren’t nearly as puffy, and her breathing returned to normal. She was still nervous, James could tell, so he began telling her all about the house, and some projects they were working on.

“Did Joe tell you we wanted your expertise on a skit?” James asked, opening the door for her.

“Yeah,” she said, looking around the house. “If I’m understanding Joe right, it’s not gonna be hard at all.”

She peeked into the recording room and smiled. It felt so surreal to her to be in the actual Cow Chop house, and meeting these guys she’s watched for years.

“C’mere and sit down. I’ll yell at Joe, and he can show you where you’ll be working.” When James left the room to yell up the stairs, Aleks came walking in and stopped dead in his tracks.

“Stacy?”

She nodded.

“Welcome to the group of ‘Quit Your Job Because Your Boss Is An Asshole!” Aleks yelled, holding his hand out. Stacy smiled brightly and returned his high-five.

James came back in and smacked Aleks on the back. “We got our helper today.”

“Do you seriously not want paid, or was Joe blowing smoke up our asses?”

“Nope. What you guys are doing for me is amazing. I will help out however I can.”

James nodded. “But if you change your mind-“

“I’ll tell you.” She said, crossing her heart. “I promise.”

It was then that Joe came in. He was always happy, warm, and kind. Stacy always joked that the world didn’t deserve Joe.

Aleks gave a dramatic sigh. “Well, that Heavy Rain shit isn’t gonna edit itself, so…”

“Jesus Christ, Aleks!” James yelled. “The poor girl just got here!”

“Well, we don’t hire lazy fuckers, so get going.”

Stacy laughed and saluted him. “Yes sir.”

They began walking upstairs when Joe stopped and held out his fist.

“Fist bump for luck?”

Stacy giggled and fist bumped him. They continued going up the stairs when she tripped. Joe grabbed her arm and helped her up the rest of the way. James and Aleks exchanged glances and shook their heads.  

Weeks flew by, the channel grew by the thousands, and James was beginning to feel better. His friends were still okay and happy, and they were helping a girl who needed someone in her corner. All felt right, except Aleks had brought up an excellent point in that it’s been a week without a reference call about Stacy. She hadn’t even mentioned another interview. James argued that she maybe was just waiting for a call back, but Aleks wasn’t so sure.

When James ran into the red head in the kitchen, curiosity got the best of him.

“So, how’s the job hunt coming?” He asked, fidgeting with the tab on his can of Monster.

She gave him the deer-in-the-headlights look and almost dropped her water. “Oh, um…ya know. Still looking.”

With a snort, James called bullshit. She caved.

“Alright, look…I never had a job I actually looked forward to coming to. And I know technically I don’t work here, but still. I love it here. And, I guess I quit looking. I honestly never had a call back, so I’m not sure what happened with those, but it didn’t bother me, ‘cause I have a place to go to. I have work I do here and things that are assigned to me. And you guys are so much fun. I…I guess I keep hoping you’ll ask me to stay…”

James looked at her for a second and cocked his head to the side. “You wanna stay? With us crazy assholes?”

Stacy nodded, a shy smile on her face. “I swear I don’t want paid. Just wanna stay and work.”

“Okay, Stacy. But if this channel starts making a decent profit, we are paying you. Deal?”

“Deal.”

James laughed, “I never had to argue with someone about not taking a paycheck before.”

“Eh, ya know.” She smiled and brushed past him to go upstairs.

Stacy was definitely different, and James found it refreshing.


	4. Time For A Show

Stacy was stretched on the Cow Chop couch, waiting for a video to render, with Ein on her lap. With Ein lying on her back, Stacy was rubbing her belly and softly singing a lullaby. Aleks and Aron found her, and listened to her singing. Ein honestly looked like she was going to sleep, like the song was working, until she heard James walking into the kitchen. She left Stacy for her owner, rousing Stacy from her daze.

Sitting up, Stacy looked to where Ein had gone, noticing the guys watching her.

“No, guys, standing in the doorway staring at me isn’t creepy or anything.” Stacy said.

“When can we hear you singing at that place your fam owns?” Aron asked, pretty much ignoring Stacy’s sentence.

Stacy cocked her head. “You guys wanna come hear me sing?”

All three guys said in unison, “Fuck yeah.”

Laughing, she answered, “Busy this weekend?”

No one was, and Stacy text them all the directions.

Saturday night found the guys all piling in two vehicles, excited to hear her sing. The restaurant-bar thing her family owned turned out to be an old barn the family repurposed, and then lovingly named The Barn. It sat on a huge farm owned and headed by her grandma. Stacy had mentioned her grandma before, simply saying that she was not the baking cookies and knitting sweaters kind of lady. They could only imagine what that meant.

The farm itself sat on the outskirts of Louviers, a beautiful piece of land that spanned over two hundred acres. With most of the family living there, helping take care of it, the farm was very well kept, with all the traditional farm animals lazily roaming the pastures.

While parking the SUV, James had to wait for a chicken to move from in front of him. It was just that kind of farm, he guessed.

Stacy was waiting outside of the barn with a woman who looked like an older version of herself. When she caught sight of the crew walking up, she smiled brightly and drug the woman with her.

“Hey guys! This is my Mama. Mama, this is the Cow Chop crew.”

The woman, Stacy’s ‘Mama’, smiled just as brightly and pulled each of them in for a hug. “It’s wonderful to meet all of you. Stacy talks about you all the time.” She then turned to her daughter and began pushing her toward the door. “I’ll show them to their seat, go get ready. Uncle Darrel will be after your ass for being late.”

“Yes, Mama. Enjoy the show, guys.” Stacy said, waving as she jogged inside.

After Stacy was inside the building and out of earshot, her mother turned back to the guys. “I want to thank you all so much for taking her in. She told me what you were willing to do for her, and that is amazing. They don’t make young kids like you anymore. Hell, we have trouble raising them like that here on the farm.”

“We would do it again,” Joe started. “She’s an amazing editor, we’re lucky we have her.”

The woman laughed, “Oh, you say that now. Wait until she warms up to you. Might change your tune then.” Grabbing Brett’s arm, she gave him a nudge toward the door. “I’ll show you boys to your seats.”

Their seat inside was a round booth in the corner, with a perfect view of the stage. James wondered if Stacy had that picked out special for them, or if her mother did that on her own. Mama, which she asked that they call her, told them food and drinks were on the house. With Stacy behind the stage, and her mother rushing off to get their drinks, the guys were left alone. People watching became their past time, and the guys took bets on who was related and who wasn’t. They had twenty minutes to wait until Stacy was up, Mama had told them when she returned with the drinks.

“Look, I’m gonna warn you now. Gram will be around here in a bit.” She handed a drink to Aron and noticed the confused look on his face. “Stacy didn’t tell you about her Gram?”

“Just that she’s not the knitting sweaters kind.” Joe said.

Mama laughed. “Oh, that’s one way to put it. Gram is…well, she had no filter between her brain and her mouth. And she has no inhibitions.” Then, looking at Brett, she added, “And she loves men.”

That’s when the lights dimmed and a white light flooded the stage. Their attention was turned to the stage, but James did scoot over to allow Mama a seat at the booth.

A slow country tune began playing as Stacy walked out onstage, her long white dress flowering in the fan-made breeze of the building.

_I love it when we’re at a party, in a downtown crowd_

_Oh, I can hear you call me ‘baby’ with the music up loud_

Now, country music wasn’t James’ favorite genre, but he knew a good singer when he heard one. And, damn, Stacy could sing. She looked beautiful in her white dress, James noted, a stark contrast to what she normally wore to the Cow Chop house. It was nice seeing her in something that wasn’t a baggy t-shirt and blue jeans.

When the song finished, the whole booth in the corner stood up, clapping and whistling. Stacy’s face turned red with embarrassment, bowing and laughing for them. The customers all turned and looked at them, but the guys just continued.

Mama explained that she had another song coming up, but that she’d probably be out to talk to them in between. Mama wasn’t wrong. She bounced over to them, dodging people in her way, and finally made it to their table.

“Having fun? My family being nice?”

Mama just laughed. “No, I’m sitting here next to James feeling him up.”

“Dirty old woman.” James said, smiling.

“When are you singing again?” Trevor asked, being the question on everyone’s mind.

“You wanna hear me sing again?”

They all said “YES!” in unison, making Stacy smile brightly.

“In an hour.”

“Fuck me, Stacy!” Said woman turned around, rolling her eyes.

“Gram, honestly, I told you we are related, it’s weird.”

“Don’t be a bitch, introduce me to these men you work with.” Gram peeked around Stacy’s shoulder, looking at the men around the table. She was a short, older woman. Her hair was dyed a deep auburn color, and she was dressed as if she was a lot younger than she was. The woman looked like she would be a tough woman, with a mouth like a sailor.

Stacy opened her mouth to begin the introductions, but Gram stopped her before she could start. She leaned on the table, eyeing Brett.

“Damn, boy. Where you been my whole life?”

“Jesus Christ, Gram.” Stacy began, but Gram just waved her off, never taking her eyes off Brett.

She looked him up and down the best she could, with him sitting down and all, and reached over to squeeze his bicep. “Bet you know how to please a woman.”

Brett laughed, and played along. “Damn right I do. Wanna go?”

“Hell, I’d probably have a heart attack I saw you naked.” She turned to Stacy. “You, however…”

Stacy shook her head. “Gram, stop it.”

“Not the one you’re after? Want the twink instead?”

“Which one?” Brett asked with a laugh, glancing between Aron and Aleks.

“Not after anyone, in case anyone actually cares.” Stacy muttered, being entirely ignored.

Gram looked around the booth again until her eyes landed on James. “Oh, no…he’s your type. Dark hair, brown eyes, facial hair-“

“Gram, it’s time you go back to the old folk’s home. It’s time for your meds.” Stacy said, pulling her away.

“Oh, your no fun.” Gram stood her ground, not moving. “What’s your name, sweetie.”

“James.”

“Got any tattoos?”

James rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie and held up his arm. “Yes, I do.”

Gram threw up her hands. “He’s got it all, girl! Go get him!”

“Gram, go away! You’re embarrassing!”

The laughter from the table could be heard across The Barn, as could the ‘grrr’ Stacy left out while pushing her Gram toward the opposite side of the building. James has never been told he was someone’s ‘type’ before. That was strange. But he was laughing with the rest of the group all the same. Stacy’s Gram was an awesome woman, very feisty for her age. James imagined that is what his mother would be like when she’s old and gray.

An hour later, Stacy was back on stage, the same white dress billowing behind her.

_I’ve got a girl crush_

_Hate to admit it, but,_

_I’ve got a heart rush_

_Ain’t slowing down_

It was this smooth song with almost no background music. Her voice was ringing clear through the building, permeating into their ears. It was amazing. James just knew that he wanted to hear her sing again, and he was hoping she’d sing at the Cow Chop house at some point without a radio to drown her out.

Once Stacy was done singing, the live music was over. A DJ was playing a mix of country and pop songs as the guys finished their drinks. Stacy crawled into the booth beside Brett after she got back into her street clothes and sipped at her Coke. It was a wonderful way to spend a Saturday night, and Joe commented that it was great to get James out of the house for once. Stacy seemed confused at that comment, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t know all of what was going on, between James, Aleks, and the Creatures, but she knew something went down. Maybe someday she’d get the courage to ask, but for now, their story was all theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> 1: Carrie Underwood - Heartbeat  
> 2: Little Big Town - Girl Crush  
> If you haven't heard these songs, you should. :D


	5. Heart to Heart

“Ya’all motherfuckers need real food.” Stacy said, walking into the kitchen while Joe and Aron were eating a hot pocket. “How you guys don’t have high cholesterol is beyond me.”

“They’re good.” Aron said with a mouth full of pizza hot pocket.

“But they are so bad for you.”

“Again, they are good.” Aron answered. Stacy just shook her head.

“I’m buying you assholes food, and I’m gonna cook you a good dinner.” 

And Stacy actually did. Tuesday morning, Stacy stuck her head in the front door and asked for help unloading her car. Once all the bags were brought in, they had meat, vegetables, fruit, and a shit ton of healthy snacks. The boys were running off with string cheese and apples while Stacy began packing it all in the fridge. James stood there, watching her stuff a pack of pork chops in the freezer.

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.” James said, peeling open an orange.

“Oh, hun, I know. But you guys can’t live off snack muffins and hot pockets. Besides, I like to cook. It’s not a problem.” She pulled a small carton out of a bag and began to stick it in the fridge.

Aleks whipped through the kitchen long enough to grab a banana and flip Stacy’s ponytail, then jogged up the stairs. Jumping at the contact of Aleks brushing her hair, Stacy popped her head up and smacked it off the top of the fridge.

“Ow, fuck!”

James jumped up and ran over to her, checking the top of her head. “Damn, girl, I heard that over there!”

“Who did that?”

“Aleks.” James answered, gently pulling her hair apart and seeing a large red mark forming. “You’re gonna have a lump.”

Stacy rolled her eyes, “And a headache.”

“I think we have some sort of aspirin here.” James turned around to begin searching through the cabinets.

“If not, there’s some in my purse, I think.” She watched as James frantically pulled things out of the cabinets. A smile pulled at her lips. _Papa James_ , as the guys called him. Always more worried about everyone else than himself. She briefly wondered if taking care of everyone around him left any room for him to take care of himself.

With a bottle in his hand, he turned around triumphantly. “Found ‘em.”

Stacy smiled as he shook two pill into his hand. She grabbed a water and shut the fridge. The rest of the shit could wait, she was in pain. She took the pills from his hand and swallowed them immediately.

“Thanks, James.”

The next day, while recording in the backyard, they heard music playing. Aleks looked through the back door to see Stacy dancing through the kitchen while something cooked on the stove. He motioned for the other guys to watch while carefully opening the door. No one said a word, or made a sound, as they stepped into the house. Stacy was singing and spinning herself through the small kitchen. There was sizzling and boiling in the background, but she wasn’t hearing it.

Her hips were swaying and her hands were in her hair, she was lost in the music. The guys were snickering to themselves, but James was transfixed in place. She looked so happy, so alive. She just looked so different from the quiet, withdrawn Stacy they had first met. Sure, she talked and joked with them, but it was always with an air of caution. This was the real Stacy, the one that had just let go.

Aleks noticed the way James was watching her, the awed look on his face, and cocked his eyebrow. “James got a crush?” He whispered. James glared at him in return.

Ein and Mishka slid into the kitchen from the backyard, drawing Stacy’s attention. She saw the guys watching her, jumped, and knocked the spatula off the counter.

“Jesus Fuck! Don’t scare me like that!” Before Stacy could bend down and get the spatula, Mishka had grabbed it in her mouth and ran up the stairs. Aleks yelled and chased after his dog. The other guys went back outside to check on the equipment. They all left James staring at the flustered red head.

“Sorry,” James was kicking his shoe against the ground. “We heard music and-“

Stacy waved him off. “Nah, it’s okay. Just scared me. Make a noise next time.” She turned to check the stove full of food.

“So…what are you cooking?”

“Chicken alfredo.” She was stirring some white sauce around the pan. Taking some on the spoon, she turned to James. “Wanna taste?”

James nodded and took a taste off the spoon. “That’s good. How much longer?”

“Gimmie fifteen, then we’ll be set.”

It was over fifteen minutes later, but Stacy had taken some time to set up a makeshift dining table in what was supposed to be their dining room. Someone would have to sit in a computer chair, someone else in the wheelchair, but she dug up enough seats for everyone. She had even set the table with Styrofoam plates and plastic silverware. Stacy yelled up the stairs that it was ready, and she swore it sounded like a heard of elephants coming down the stairs.

Once everyone was seated, with Aron and Trevor arguing over who took the wheelchair, the food was served. Watching them eat like a family made Stacy happy. The group looked so peaceful, so happy. Of course, there was throwing pieces of garlic bread at each other, and at one point a noodle, but it was _relatively_ peaceful.

Stacy was shocked at how, when the meal was done, the guys cleaned up. There was a comment of “you cook, we clean” as they gathered the plates and put the chairs back. What really made Stacy happy was the line of hugs she got after they were done and heading back upstairs.

\--------

Things were going great at the Cow Chop house. Brett was coming in every few weeks, the videos were getting great views, the guys were happy, yet James just wasn’t. It was a fight to get out of bed in the mornings, and when he went home at night he didn’t want to leave. Unless he absolutely had to, he didn’t go into stores, or even to the gas station.

His friends noticed, Trevor and Joe forced him out of the house a couple of times, but he would always go back to being a hermit. He’d taken to spending a lot of time on his own, even at the Cow Chop house. The more introverted he got, the more concerned the guys got. Even the fans were beginning to comment that James just wasn’t being James. Aleks and Brett decided James needed an intervention, and came to Stacy for help.

“You’re a girl.” They reasoned. “Girls just have this way of making people talk.”

Stacy caved after a while and went searching for him. Being a warmer day in Littleton, James was sitting outside the back door on one of the beat-up lawn chairs. He had his head down and Stacy could tell his shoulders were tense. He’d been off all day, but she didn’t know James that well and didn’t think it was her place to pry. But apparently, everyone else felt she should stick her nose in their business. She did care what happened to him, hell, to all of them, and she knew James has had it rough the past year. A lot had to be weighing on his mind, and if she could be of any help at all, she was more than willing.

Walking out the door and taking a seat beside him, Stacy tried to be quiet. He heard her, but he was too stuck in his own head to acknowledge her.

“So…wanna talk?” She combed her fingers through her hair and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “Well, I mean, if you don’t, that’s fine. I’ll talk. I’m good at that.” She still got no answer. “This past year really sucked for you. I mean, I don’t know the whole story…but I’ve pieced some of it together. Honestly, it doesn’t seem like you were that upset over the girl as much as you were that Jordan did that.” At this, she saw his eyes shift to her. “Which makes sense. I mean, you guys were close, right? If one of my besties did that to me, I’d be more than pissed.” He huffed, but kept his head down. “And it hurts. I got cheated on, too. I mean, I walked in on them in my bed in my apartment.” This time, his head did raise a little. “So, let me give you some advice that my Gram gave me…They can bend you, they can hurt you, but they cannot break you. And then she finished with ‘fuck ‘em’.”

James looked up and met her eyes. “Fuck ‘em?”

“I mean, Gram always was a philosopher.” Stacy let out a small laugh. “But, she’s usually right. Remind me to tell you her rules on men sometime.”

James’ lips curled into a slight hint of a smile before returning to his frown.

Apparently, that wasn’t all that was bothering him. “So, if that’s not what’s going on…can I make a guess based on what I’ve been seeing the almost three months I’ve been here?” It took a second, but James nodded and began picking at the skin around his nails. “Okay…so I’ve been noticing a dynamic going on here. James takes care of everyone and everything.” At that, James’ head snapped up. “You have everything on your shoulders, and I think it’s getting overwhelming. You realize your friends are fine, right? I’ve been watching you and Aleks for a long time now. I don’t think I’ve seen Aleks actually smile before Cow Chop. Joe and Aron? They talk all the time about how they are a part of this, not just ‘working here’ but actually part of this channel. And the first time I saw you genuinely laugh was the VR Porn video. That was a genuine James laugh that I haven’t heard in so long.” She thought she saw James’ lip quiver slightly. This is it, she cracked that wall he’s had up. “I remember the stream, where you said ‘all you wanted was for your friends to be taken care of,’ and you did it, James. They are fine and happy. That was all you. Now that Cow Chop is taking off, and the guys are happy, don’t you think it’s time for James to be happy?”

When his eyes met hers, they were bloodshot and red rimmed. “How?”

“James, taking time for yourself isn’t being selfish. I heard you telling Aleks about your doctor saying you had to strengthen the muscles in your back. Which means you need to take some time and work on that. And no one here is going to be mad at you, and the world isn’t going to fall apart. You need to trust us to take care of things when you’re not here.” Stacy reached out to wipe a tear off his cheek. “You’ve been spending so much time taking care of everyone else, but who is taking care of James?”

When another tear began rolling down his cheek, she pulled him against her for a hug. She felt him crying against her, and didn’t make a comment. She just pet his hair and held him tight.

After a few minutes, James pulled away, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I got your shirt wet.” His voice was hoarse when he talked.

“Payback for when I got yours wet.” She joked, reminding him of her first day of work. James just gave a sad smile. “Feel any better?” He nodded and looked into her eyes again. “James, if you need to talk, you can call me. Day or night. I’m serious. You need someone to watch out for you, someone who isn’t afraid to tell you what they think. And, since I don’t technically work here, it won’t matter if I piss you off, so I’ll be that person.”

He huffed out a laugh and smiled. “Just because you don’t get a paycheck doesn’t mean you’re not a part of this.”

She smiled and pulled him in for another hug. “I’m serious about calling me. You seem to get stuck in your own head a lot, and talking to someone else will help. Deal?”

When she pulled back, she put her hands on his face and made him look at her. When he smiled, and it almost reached his eyes, Stacy felt as if she did something right.

“Deal.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to hug this adorable man. :D


	6. Of Tacos and Horrible Chick Flicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look...I don't know the first thing about James' family. From what I can remember, and from what I have found online, he never really talks about them...which is his prerogative. No qualms from me here. 
> 
> That just means I get to take more liberties! 
> 
> It's a small part in this chappie, but in the future they will come in more...so, yeah. Enjoy!

 

All the Cow Chop crew was gathered around their makeshift kitchen table, complete with the computer chair and wheelchair, having tacos. Stacy had successfully created _Taco Tuesday!_ a few weeks ago, as well as _Fuck You Friday_. On Friday’s, they ate whatever the fuck Stacy decided to make. Honestly, after Tuesday, Stacy ran out of clever names.

“So,” James started, flicking lettuce off his shirt, “What’s your Gram’s rules on men?”

Stacy laughed. “I’m surprised you remembered that!”

“What rules?” Brett asked.

“Okay,” Stacy started, “You know how… _eccentric_ my Gram is. Well, Gram has these rules for dating she preached into me and Karmen, my sister.”

“You have a sister?” Joe was mid-drink.

Aleks breathed heavily, “Stay on topic, asshole!”

“Yes, I have a sister. I have three.” Stacy laughed. James kept waving her on, so she started, “Okay, so Gram’s many rules….um…don’t date a guy who only owns toy dogs, like Chihuahuas or Yorkies, cause if they can’t handle a real dog, they can’t handle a real woman.” She looked at James and smirked. “Corgi’s don’t count.”

James wiped imaginary sweat off his forehead.

“Never go down on a guy if he won’t go down on you.”

Brett spit his drink across the table. “Jesus! I love your Gram so much!”

“Honestly, Gram has a point.” Trevor said, nodding his head. “Gotta be fair.”

“Next!” Aron said, throwing taco shell at Trevor. Surprisingly, Trevor caught the shell in his mouth easily, winking at Aron as he crunched on it.

“There are three questions you should ask before the end of your first date. One: Have you ever had an STD? If he says yes, get the fuck out of there.”

Brett snorted. “Can’t hold college against men, it’s not fair.”

“What kind of college did you go to?” James asked, laughing.

“Dude, you get up to all kinds of shit when you’re drunk. Just sayin’.” Brett held his hands up. “I’m not saying I had one, I’m just saying…shit happens.”

“Gross.” Stacy made a face at him.

“Oh, don’t tell me you never did anything you regretted when drunk!”

Stacy just laughed. “I can’t drink. My body doesn’t tolerate alcohol, I just get insanely sick.”

Brett sat up in his chair. “Oh my God, I am so sorry!”

“Jesus, Brett. Drinking isn’t everything.” Stacy made the statement, but Brett just scoffed.

“It’s ‘cause you don’t know what you’re missing.”

“What’s the other two questions?” Joe asked. “This is interesting.”

Stacy picked up a piece of tomato and threw it at Brett. “These next two are connected. How many women has he slept with and how many of those was he in a relationship with for at least four months. If the second number isn’t at least half the first number, then lose him.”

“He could just be very talented in the one-night-stand department.” Trevor shrugged.

“That’s the point.” Aron laughed. “They don’t want a guy who has been around.”

“Exactly.” Stacy nodded. “Oh, one of my favorite ones. If you have to show him where to put his dick, then he hasn’t used it enough to satisfy you.”

They all busted out laughing: James was wheezing, Aleks’ face was red, Brett could barely breathe.

“H-How did you grow up with that w-woman?” Brett said, trying to breathe normally. “You couldn’t have had a normal childhood!”

“I didn’t.” Stacy shook her head, laughing. “Gram taught me and Karmen about sex. She said since Mama and Dad were only ever with each other, they didn’t have the knowledge to talk to us. So she did. And I’m talking the condom on the cucumber thing, all of it. If we were gonna learn, we were gonna do it right, she told us.”

“How many of those rules she has do you listen to?” Joe asked.

“Karmen and I only followed a few of them, and since we are still single, apparently that’s not working. I dunno, though, maybe I’ll just introduce the next guy to Gram and let her tell me yay or nay.”

“Honestly, if they can handle your Gram, then they probably will be the one.” Aleks laughed. “I mean, us meeting her was one thing, but we weren’t trying to fuck you.”

“Speak for yourself.” Brett wiggled his eyebrows at her, smiling very creepily.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” She held her hands up defensively. “Gram wouldn’t be happy if I took her man.”

They all shared a laugh at that, joking with Brett about finding himself a “GILF.” Stacy was watching the guys happy and joking. It made her happy when her friends were happy. But, not all of them had been happy recently, so she kept an eye on James, waiting to see if his smile reached his eyes. For once, it did…and she also noticed James looks good when he smiles.

\--------------------

Stacy couldn’t sleep. The neighbors next door decided to play ACDC at maximum level right on the other side of her bedroom wall. Why not? It’s only two a.m. No reason to be sleeping, or being a decent human being. So, she found herself wrapped in a blanket on her couch scrolling through Netflix. She had just picked some stupid chick flick when her phone rang. It only rang once, then shut off. She didn’t even get a chance to see who was on the caller ID. Before she could get herself into her missed calls, it rang again. James. Before she could answer, he hung up again.

The third time it rang, she was ready and answered immediately.

_“James? What’s wrong?”_

James wasn’t ready for her to answer. He couldn’t sleep, his brain wouldn’t shut up, and she had told him to call her. But asking for help was never James’ strong point, and it was too late (or early) for her to be awake. His hands were shaking as he held the phone to his ear.

“I-I didn’t want to bother you.” James started. _Good job._ He thought. _Way to not sound desperate and pathetic._

_“You’re not. I honestly wasn’t sleeping. My neighbors are assholes.”_

“Oh, okay.”

_“James, talk to me. What’s wrong?”_

He took a deep breath before continuing. “You said I could call…anytime…I’m sorry.”

_“No, James, don’t apologize. Just talk to me. What’s wrong?”_

James rubbed his hand over his face. How did he explain this? He can’t sleep because…why? He’s not sure. He just knows his brain won’t shut up. All of the horrible thoughts his brain can come up with are a mantra in his brain.

_“James?”_

There he goes again, stuck in his head too long and he forgot to respond.

_“James, where are you?”_

“In my bed.”

_“Okay, turn on Netflix.”_

James was confused, but he did as she asked. “Okay…it’s up.”

_“Good.”_ He could hear her shifting around wherever she was. _“Now, James, do you trust me?”_

It surprised James how easily he answered. “Yes.”

_“Search for the movie The Notebook.”_

“Are…are you serious?” His hand was frozen with the remote pointed at the TV.

She laughed. _“Yes. You said you trusted me. We’re gonna watch a movie together, and talk, and make your brain focus on something else. Deal?”_

He took a deep breath and began searching. “Deal.”

_“When I can’t sleep, I put on a chick flick. It bores me to sleep. Yeah, I’m not a typical girl.”_

James huffed out a laugh. “Okay, I found it.”

_“Don’t push it yet! Wait until I catch up. When I say ‘Go’ you can push play.”_ A few seconds later she began counting down. _“Three. Two. One. Go.”_

“Now we see if our internet is synched.” James joked.

_“Might be a few seconds off…but ya know.”_ He could hear the smile in her words. _“Now, to the important shit. What’s your favorite color?”_

James actually let out a laugh at that. “Green.”

_”Mine’s orange. Allergic to anything?”_

“Shellfish.”

_“Really? Huh. I’m not allergic to anything that I know of.”_

James could hear something from her end of the line, a thumping sound. “What’s that noise?”

_“You can hear that, too? Fucking neighbors are playing music, on max, and our walls are paper thin. I don’t know what they’re fucking doing.”_

“Bastards.” James said in agreement, settling back in the bed and pulling Ein close. “Am I keeping you up? Honestly?”

Stacy laughed. _“If you can hear the music, imagine what I’m hearing. This is what’s keeping me up, not you.”_

The stranger the questions Stacy came up with, the less James’ brain had room to think. He learned there were six kids, including her, in her family. She was the second youngest. Stacy didn’t get along with her oldest brother, but her and Karmen, the youngest, were best friends. Karmen was also a veterinarian, and had an actual practice on her family’s farm.

James told her about his mother, about his father leaving when he was younger, and about spending time in Puerto Rico. He told her about his brothers, about his sister-in-law, and about his niece and nephew. It was the most he’d told someone in a long time, but it felt right. James felt lighter after talking for so long.

Stacy was right, she was brilliant. All of the talking and laughing made James’ brain clear. No more mantra, no more horrible thoughts, just a natural conversation between friends.

The movie was half over, according to Netflix, when the thumping on Stacy’s end of the line finally stopped.

_“Dude…someone turned the music off over there. Maybe someone died.”_

James barked out a laugh, scaring a sleeping Ein on his lap. “Shit, Einy…I’m sorry, baby.”

_“Einy?”_ Stacy giggled. _“That’s fucking adorable! Can I call you Jamesy?”_

“No.”

Stacy laughed. _“Wow. Just_ no. _So stern.”_

“My name is James.” He was combing his fingers through Ein’s fur with a small smile playing on his face.

_“Bullshit. Everyone has a nickname. Hell, you gave your pup one! Your Mom called you something when you were little.”_

“Yeah,” James laughed. “She called me James cause she named me James.”

_“You don’t look like a Jimmy. Definitely not. Jamie, maybe? Yeah. Jamie!”_ He could just picture Stacy having her eureka moment through her voice. _“I will bet that your Mama calls you Jamie.”_

“You can assume all you want. I don’t have a nickname.” James stifled a yawn behind his hand.

_“Deny it all you want. I’ll meet your mom at some point. I’ll find out.”_ He heard Stacy hold back her own yawn. _“Girls always find out.”_

“Yeah, yeah.” This yawn James couldn’t hold in.

_“Is…is that a yawn? Did my horrible movie/talking idea work for you?”_

“Yeah. I guess it did.” James smiled. “Are you…are you hanging up?”

_“No. The movie isn’t over yet.”_

They were both out before the movie was done, their phones still on, call still connected. They both would wake up to dead phones in the morning, but they would deal with that later. Right now, all they could hear were each other’s light snores, and Ein’s mixed in the middle somewhere, too.


	7. Talking Dirty with Turkey

The guys were recording Amazon Prime when the doorbell rang. With a very confused look on their faces, they paused the recording. Trevor opened the door and was taken back by a Stacy’s Gram and a woman in her twenties standing there.

“Trevor, right? Let us in, I’m fucking cold.” Gram said, pushing herself in the door.

Trevor backed up, letting Gram in.

“Hey, I’m Karmen. Stacy’s sister?” The other woman said, smiling as brightly as Stacy does. She doesn’t look much like her sister. Karmen was slender and lanky, where Stacy had more curves.

Trevor smiled. “Yeah. She talks about you a lot.”

“Oh, God, don’t listen to her.”

James and Aleks came into the kitchen, seeing the new people in the house.

Gram turned around and smiled at them. “God, you boys are still fucking adorable!” She walked over and hugged them both, then turned and hugged Trevor. “I’m officially inviting you boys to Thanksgiving at the farm. I’m not taking ‘no, I want to be alone’ for an answer.”

“I’m sure you have enough mouths to feed over there.” Aleks noted.

Gram put her hands on her hips. “If you don’t show up, I will drag your twink ass there, understand?”

Aleks smirked. “Sounds kinky.”

“Oh, boy, I would break you.”

Hearing voices she recognized, Stacy had wondered down stairs. She was simultaneously surprised and not surprised to see her Gram and sister standing there. The fact that her Gram had brought food and was being sexually aggressive toward the men was not surprising. That she had invited all of them to Thanksgiving, a little surprising.

“You already know how to get to the farm. Instead of turning into The Barn parking, keep going straight, all the way back. Don’t turn. You’ll run right into the house.” Gram explained, using her hands as if drawing a map in the air. “Just come in, don’t knock.” Then, noticing Stacy, she added, “if you still can’t find us, call the little bitch there, she’ll tell you.”

“Fuck you, too, Gram.” Stacy laughed.

Aleks shook his head. “If I talked to my family like that, I’d be missing my teeth.”

“So…what did you bring us to eat?” Trevor asked, motioning toward the pan on the counter.

Karmen walked over and pulled the lid off. “Chocolate cake with peanut butter icing.” Karmen posed, like Vanna White at the Wheel of Fortune letters, giving a creepy smile.

James instantly saw that, even though the sisters don’t look alike, they act alike. That was definitely something Stacy would have done. Where Stacy had bright red hair falling down to her shoulders, Karmen had her hair dyed a deep purple with black highlights. Stacy leaned against the kitchen counter and laughed at her sister’s antics.

“Nah, Kar…that doesn’t look creepy at all.”

“Bitch, I am fabulous!” Karmen laughed.

 

The days leading up to Thanksgiving were filled with recording and editing. The days seemed to fly by, and before they knew it, Thanksgiving eve was upon them. Stacy made sure they all remembered where the farm was before leaving that day. She had to go to the farm early to help cook, so she was going the night before. Only James and Aleks could go, the rest being busy with their families.

James picked Aleks up and headed down south of Littleton. The farm wasn’t hard to find, but the long road to the house felt like they were driving forever. Houses littered both sides of the road. Behind those houses were fences to the pastures and barns littered about. When they pulled up to where Gram said the house would be, they were not expecting a huge old farm house, the traditional white wood exterior trimmed in a deep green. They parked amongst the huge number of cars, and once again James had to wait for a chicken.

“What is it with me and fucking chickens at this farm?” James asked, edging forward as the chicken moved slowly.

“Dude, you are fucking cursed.” Aleks laughed.

When walking toward the house, they noticed several young children playing in the front yard. One of them, a small girl no older than five, came running up to them. She had a Halloween cape on her, the hood pulled up over her head. She was carrying a small My Little Pony backpack with her. She stopped in front of them, blocking their path.

In a deep voice, she asked, “What are you buying, stranger?”

James and Aleks looked at each other and started laughing. James pulled out his wallet and found a dollar. He kneeled in front of her and did his best Leon impression.

“What do you got?”  

She smirked and opened her backpack. Inside was a selection of toys, shiny rocks, and plastic rings. He picked out a bright orange plastic ring and held it up to her.

“Plus two ammo capacity.” She said, matter-of-factly. “It’s a dollar.”

With a smile, he handed her the dollar and slipped the ring on his pinky finger. “Nice doing business with you.”

She nodded and walked away. Stacy came into view, patting the little girl on her shoulder and meeting James and Aleks halfway.

“That’s Mindy. Her brother has been going through this Resident Evil phase, and she watches him play. The merchant is her favorite character.” She smiled at James. “You’re great with kids. She’s sometimes a tough nut to crack, she instantly liked you.”

“Ah, ya know.” He said, adopting her phrase she uses so often. He held up his ring for her to see. “Plus two ammo cap, I got a deal.”

Stacy laughed and led them inside. “I had to pay five dollars for my Pikachu. It’s a rare item, apparently.”

Once in the house, Stacy’s Mama hugged them tightly, thanking them for coming. Mama led them in, showing them their seats. Stacy did some quick introductions before sitting down beside James.

Although the boys were nervous, it eased away after a while. Stacy’s family was very inviting. They talked and laughed, including the boys in the stories. Gram, of course, stole the show. Sometime during the conversation, Gram discovered Aleks was Russian.

“Do Russians fuck different?”

James choked on his turkey, Stacy patting him on the back. It was shocking how unfazed her family was at the questions she would ask.

Aleks, however, took Gram in stride and bantered back. “Wanna find out?”

“Will you say dirty Russian things to me?”

Stacy facepalmed and shook her head. “Jesus, Gram.”

“What?” Gram asked. “Next I want to know if James inherited any Puerto Rican traits?”

“Like what?” James asked.

“Can you speak Spanish?”

“Some.” James answered. “My grandparents taught me a lot of it when we would visit Puerto Rico.”

“Can you talk dirty in Spanish?” Karmen asked, smirking.

James smiled. “If you ask nicely.”

“God, Stacy, your friends are fun!” Karmen laughed.

Stacy just shook her head. At least they were fitting in. Gram approved of both of them, which was always a huge plus. And James was opening up more, acting more like himself. It was great to see.

At one point during the meal, Karmen caught her eye. She looked between James and Stacy, wiggling her eyebrows. Stacy rolled her eyes and glared. Karmen just laughed, confusing James and Aleks as to why Karmen suddenly started laughing and Stacy’s face was red.

 

Mama asked James and Aleks if they wanted to tour the farm, which was heavily agreed to. Stacy and Karmen took them for a walk and talked to them about farm life. When they walked past the goat barn, Stacy almost broke down laughing and the guys looked at her strangely. It took Karmen a second before she joined in.

“Ja-James!” Stacy said, breathlessly. “Wa-wanna pet a r-real goat?”

“What are you laughing about?” Aleks asked, honestly confused.

Karmen regained a little composure, so she tried to explain. “It’s a video James made…like a while ago. Goat Petting Simulator?”

Getting it, James started laughing. “Oh my God, how do you remember that?”

“That’s our favorite video of yours, James!” Karmen said. “I pissed myself laughing at that video!”

“Don’t put your hand up their ass, they don’t actually like that.” Stacy said, finally calming down. She grabbed his arm and led him over to the fence. Immediately several goats came over, standing on the fence and hollering. “They won’t hurt you, go ahead.”

She was rubbing a black and gray goat behind the ears as it bumped noses with her. James chose a tan goat and held out his hand. It began using his hand to scratch its cheek and James smiled.

“That’s Dusty.” Stacy said, a small smile on her face. “This is Layla.”

He looked to the other side of him and saw Aleks scratching a white goat between the horns.

“This is Shiloh.” Karmen said, motioning to Aleks’ goat. “She’s not usually brave enough to come to people. Aleks must be special.”

The horses were next, then the calves. James made a joke about the farm being a giant petting zoo. It wasn’t wrong, everything they’d met so far was friendly.

The four of them talked and walked, petting all the animals they saw. James mentioned his issue with their chickens, and Karmen found one for James to hold. Aleks snapped a picture and tweeted it out as “James, King of Chickens.”

 

It was well into the evening when they ventured back into the house. After dessert, the boys decided to leave.

“Thanks for coming, boys.” Mama said, hugging them. “Come back anytime.”

When Gram hugged them, James swore she felt his ass. “Gram…you’re getting frisky here.”

Gram just hushed him and laughed.

The boys drove off as Karmen leaned over and whispered in Stacy’s ear, “You two make a cute couple.” Karmen slid her phone in front of Stacy’s face, revealing a picture she must have snuck. They were standing together, James with his hand out petting a horse. Their shoulders were touching and they were looking at each other, smiles on both of their faces.

With a blush, Stacy shook her head and walked back into the kitchen. Karmen may have accidentally sent it to Stacy’s phone with the caption _Love._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Gram is my favorite character to write. I knew a girl in school who had a Gram that actually was like that and I fucking loved her. I wanted that to be my Gram so bad! 
> 
> And...love is in the air! *le sigh*


	8. Secret Tattoos

Stacy was hearing things, she had to be. The guys were supposed to be getting food, and Stacy was sure she was alone in the house. But she was hearing someone singing.

Slowly walking out the makeshift office door and down the hall, she followed the voice down the hallway a bit. When she peeked in the door, she was pleasantly shocked. The mystery voice was James, sitting in the computer chair, headphones on, lost in whatever song he was hearing. She wondered if he even knew he was singing out loud.

James had a great voice, and with a little training, she knew it could only get better. It was smooth and clear and had a beautiful tone. She was lost in listening to him, leaning against the door frame, a small smile playing on her face.

When the song ended, and James sat up straight in his chair, he noticed her and jumped.

“Don’t do that!” He said, his hand over his heart. “How long were you standing there?”

Her smile slid into a smirk. “Long enough to know you’ve been hiding that voice from me.”

James shook his head, “No. Not hiding anything. I know I can’t sing.”

“Yes, actually, you can.”

James just looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe you need your hearing checked.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, mister.” Stacy countered, walking into the room. “If you learn to sing through your diaphragm, holding those notes would be easier.”

James just waved her off, putting his headphones back and on and pretending to ignore her. Stacy laughed, but left the room. This little bit of knowledge was going to stay in her head.

\-----

“Stacy, what games do you play?” Aleks was scrolling through Steam, trying to find something for the guys to play.

She had literally just walked into the room and had to gather her bearings. “Anything but first-person shooters. Why?”

“What are you actually good at?” Aleks asked, Stacy smacked him.

“What? Cause I’m a girl? Asshole.” She plopped down in the chair beside James and threw Aleks a glare.

Aleks just laughed and continued scrolling.

James patted her arm, “Don’t worry about it. Aleks is shit at playing games, so he’s jealous of anyone who can actually play.”

Aleks flipped him off.

“I’ll take you on, Aleks. Me, you, Super Smash Bros.” Stacy smiled. “I will kick your ass.”

James just laughed. “He sucks at that! He’s not a master like me.”

“Fuck, dude, I’ll take you on, too.” Stacy turned her chair, facing James. “I am bad ass at that game.”

James smiled wide. “I will bet you I could beat you.”

“What’s the terms?” She asked, her eyes shining. She was excited about this.

Aleks took interest in the conversation, turning his chair to face them. After a second, while James was thinking of the terms, Aleks chimed in.

“First to three wins. If, at any time, there is a tie, both parties have to do their bets as if they lost. Deal?” Aleks held out his hand, waiting for their agreement shake.

Stacy got her idea right away, looking James in the eye. “If I win, you sing with me. A duet. At the barn.”

“If I win, you get a tattoo, of my choosing, and you can’t know what it is until it’s done.”

After a second, they both shook Aleks’ hand, then the others. The deal was done.

The bet took place the next week, all set up in the recording room. Everyone showed up to watch the match, even Asher and Anna. The whole room was filled.

Aleks addressed the camera, explaining the terms of the bet and what the losers must do. He then added a new rule. “Whatever character you start with is the only character you can use for the whole match. Samus was Stacy’s pick, while James chose Little Mac.

The first one, Stacy won. James took the second. The third was where it got interesting. Both had the same amount of health, and used their finisher at the same time. Neither one could make it back to the platform in time. It was a tie, an honest tie.

A roar went through the room as they saw it happen. Trevor and Aleks checked the footage, to make sure the game was correct.

“Holy fuck!” Trevor stood up, his hands on his head. “It’s a real tie!”

James and Stacy looked at each other and began laughing, until it dawned on them they both had to do the bet. Fuck.

\----

James, Joe, and Stacy met at the tattoo shop two weeks later. Stacy was nervous as fuck, and the guys could tell. Her first ever tattoo was being filmed for Cow Chop. She was ringing her hands, and her eyes were darting all over the parlor.

“Hey,” James said, taking her arm. “You don’t have to do this.”

She shook her head. “No, no I’m fine. Just a little nervous.”

The tattoo artist came out of the back room. “Hey James, what did you bring me?”

Stacy must have had a strange look on her face, ‘cause James explained. “This is the guy who does my tats. His name is Axel.”

“Hey.” Axel greeted, holding out his hand to the nervous Stacy. “I promise we will take care of you. C’mon over here.” He led her to a small table and handed her a pen. “Since this is a bet, and you don’t know which tat you’re getting, I need you to sign a waiver. I don’t want you suing me later because James is an asshole.”

Stacy signed it and then looked Axel in the eye. “Please don’t let him give me a tramp stamp.”

Axel laughed, nodding. “I’ll try to keep him from being a huge ass.”

She was led to a chair as Axel asked James some questions. James decided it should be on her shoulder blade, so Axel asked her to take her shirt off. Joe turned the camera away until she got settled back in the chair.

Axel was so kind to her, explaining exactly what he was doing before he did it.

“Okay, the drawing is done. I’m gonna make a line with the ink, are you ready?” Stacy breathed heavily and nodded.

James watched as she gripped the back of the chair in apprehension. He reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. Their eyes met and she smiled, grateful for the distraction. When the line was started, Stacy scrunched up her face, but soon relaxed.

“Um…that doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Burns more than hurts.” Stacy was surprised and she looked up at James with a smile.

“See, told ya.” He answered, smiling back.

Two hours later, when the tattoo was done, Stacy was relieved. Not so much because of the pain of the tattoo, but because she was sore from sitting still so long. Axel was a sweet guy, and made sure she was okay through the whole thing. He gave her a mirror to hold and held one up so she could see it.

She was nervous to look, with all the jokes while it was being done about James branding her his property via the tattoo, but took a deep breath as she angled her mirror.

It was beautiful. It was the Deathly Hollows from Harry Potter with the Hogwarts house colors water colored behind it. She loved it, immensely. “Jesus, James! It’s amazing!”

The smile that graced James’ face at that was bright, and it reached his eyes. Stacy’s smile was just as bright, gracious he took her tattoo seriously. “I’m glad, honey.”

Joe got a nice close-up on her shoulder blade while James squeezed her hand again. The camera zoomed out in time to catch James bright smile and his hand still holding Stacy’s. That moment may need cut out in editing, but Joe was still glad he caught it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want this tattoo. So fucking bad. Eh.
> 
> ...and, yes, James can sing. God, I love that man.


	9. It's Okay, I've Got You

Just when James was feeling better, everything decided to go to hell again. It was end of December, all the Christmas videos were done, and everyone was preparing for their holiday vacation. The day before Christmas Eve was when James’ phone rang.

_“We are sorry, Mr. Wilson, there was a glitch in our system and your flight was double booked. We can’t honor the tickets we sent you.”_

There it was, his Christmas was ruined. The first Christmas he didn’t go home. He grabbed a glass and threw it at the wall, shattering it instantly. He finished off by punching a hole in the wall. Tears were threatening to fall, making James even angrier. He was not going to break over this.

The noise drew a crowd, the people left in the house coming down to see what was going on. They saw the glass on the ground and the hole in the wall before watching as James grabbed Ein and began all but running out the door. Stacy ran after him, yelling his name. All she got in return was James snapping at her, his eyes wild and red rimmed.

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

The tires of his SUV squealed as he spun out of the driveway, flooring it and leaving a trail of black behind him on the pavement. The guys had all ran out after them, stopping in the grass to see him speeding off. Without another word, Stacy jumped in her car and followed after him. Something was wrong, James didn’t do things like that, and had never talked to her like that either.

No one stopped her, just let her go. If anyone was going to get James to open up, it was her.

She found him still in his driveway. He was idling in his garage, the door still open. As soon as Ein saw her, she began clawing at the windows. Slowly, Stacy approached the car, Ein still attacking the windows. James was sitting still in the driver’s seat, his fingers gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white. He was just staring ahead, barely blinking. She opened the car door and he never moved, didn’t even look at her. His breathing was erratic and his eyes were unfocused.

“James?”

No answer. She reached her hand out and put it on his shoulder, still nothing.

“James? James, c’mon, look at me.”

Nothing. Ein was going crazy in the backseat, whining and scratching at the center console. Stacy let Ein out of the backseat, then turned and grabbed James face to see his eyes.

“James, it’s okay. I’ve got you. You have to breathe.” She took his hand and placed it on her chest. “Breathe with me.”

She stood there, breathing in a steady rhythm until James’ finally became less erratic, and his eyes began focusing.

“S-Stacy?” His voice was weak and hoarse.

“Yeah, I’m right here.” She brushed a stray piece of hair behind his ear and gave him a small smile.

James was looking confused, glancing around his garage, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, James, it’s okay. I think you had a panic attack, hon.” Ein was trying to jump up on James, scratching his leg to get his attention. Stacy bent down and picked her up, holding her out to him. “She was scared, too.”

James stroked his fingers through Ein’s fur, “I’m sorry, Einy. C’mere.” He held her close, burying his face in her fur.

Stacy let him sit there for a minute more before asking him to go with her into the house. He shakily got out, still clinging to Ein, and began opening the garage entrance. Stacy reached into his car and hit the garage door button, closing it.

When she got into his house, James was standing in the hallway. Ein was on the floor, still running circles around his feet, still worried about her owner.

“James?” Stacy put her hand on his shoulder, trying to draw him out of his head. “Talk to me.”

James turned around and hugged her, burying his face in her neck. “My flight is cancelled. I can’t go home.” His tears ran hot against the collar of her shirt, but she didn’t mind. She dug her hands into his shirt and held him tight. “They double booked my seat, and cancelled mine. How fucking great is that?” His body started shaking as he cried harder.

“Oh, James, I’m so sorry.”

Once he calmed down a bit, Stacy began leading him up the stairs.

“I want you to take a nap, hon. It’ll make you feel better.”

He looked so small, so fragile, as he laid down in his bed. Stacy lifted Ein up and he immediately held her like a pillow. “Will you stay?”

Stacy smiled and nodded, pulling his hair tie from his hair. She began stroking her fingers through it, lulling him to sleep. Once the first snore escaped him, Stacy quietly left his bedroom and went downstairs. She had a fight to pick with a very specific airport.

 

_“Ma’am, we are very sorry this happened.”_ The man on the other end of the phone was the highest level she could talk to. He was a district manager, or some pointless title, but he had the ability to fix the mistake. _“That flight I can’t do anything about, but I can get him a different flight. Let me do some looking, and I’ll call you back.”_

“Thank you.”

With the call ended, she began digging through James’ refrigerator, looking for anything she could make him when he got awake. Not a lot was in there, but she did find enough stuff to make pancakes, so she went with that.

Ein smelled them and woke James up, licking his face until he moved. As soon as the world came into focus, he smelled something amazing. Slowly getting up off the bed, he realized his head was a little fuzzy, but he was feeling slightly better. He walked down the stairs and toward the smell. His stomach growled as he entered his kitchen.

Stacy was flipping a pancake when Ein ran circles around her feet. He watched the woman break off a piece of bacon and drop it for the little corgi. She turned to face James and smiled.

“Feeling any better?”

“A little.” He shrugged.

“Come eat, it might help.”

Once his stomach was full, and Stacy took the plates to the sink, he did feel a little better. James still couldn’t believe what a great friend Stacy had been to him. Or the fact he had a panic attack. Now, when his fans talked about their depression and panic attacks, or anxiety attacks, he had a basis for understanding. If his videos helped like Stacy had helped him, he was happy to help them through something so terrible. He never wanted to do that again.

Stacy came over and put her hand on his shoulder. “Get out of your head, James. Talk to me.”

“That was fucking scary.” James ran a hand through his hair, all poofy from sleeping. “I’ve never had one of those before. I couldn’t do anything. My brain just would not shut up, just kept cycling the same things over and over again.” He took a minute to breathe out heavily. “I don’t ever want to do that again.”

Stacy put her hand on top of his and squeezed. “I hope you never have to again. I hate that you had to once.”

“Thank you. For following me home and taking care of me. Means a lot.”

“I care about you, James. I told you before, anytime you wanna talk, I’m here.” She smiled.

Nighttime saw James calling his mom to tell her about his change in plans. He was tearing up when he got off the phone, and Stacy pulled him back upstairs.

“Netflix and chill…without the sex part of chill.”

There was something about her, James realized. He was always feeling better, feeling different around her. He liked it. As she curled up in his blanket beside him in his bed, he took a chance to watch her. She had bright green eyes that shined when she was happy and a nervous habit of biting her nails when she wasn’t. She was always warm and kind, and always knew what to say. How he ever got lucky enough to befriend this girl, James wasn’t sure. But he sure wasn’t complaining.

Stacy grabbed his remote and began flicking through the available movies, settling on a B-budget horror movie guaranteed to be horrible. It was, but Stacy wasn’t really watching it. She was trying to figure out why being curled up with James, in his bed, was making her stomach do flip flops. Why there felt like butterflies fluttering in her chest. Was it all adrenaline from taking care of James earlier? Or was it something else? Some more-

No, that train of thought had to derail. He was a friend, a good friend, but nothing more.

It was after midnight, and two more movies, that they finally fell asleep. She was curled against his side, her arm slung over his chest. He realized the warmth he felt, the weight of her arm, was making him feel dizzy. Burying his face in her hair, he began to doze off.


	10. You Are Not Gonna Be Alone

James awoke to a weight on his chest and the feeling of being way too warm. He opened his eyes and saw a blur of red hair. Stacy had her head on his chest, her hand curled under her chin. The blanket was up to her ears. She must have been cold at some point, and migrated toward his body heat. James kicked the blanket off his feet to give him some fresh air, but was afraid to move her. He didn’t want to wake her up, she looked so comfortable. He stayed there, his hand on her back, her head on his chest, for another hour before her phone started to ring.

She stirred, rubbing her hand over her face before blindly reaching out for the phone.

“’ello?” Her voice was sleep slurred as she talked. “Yeah, I know, Karmen. I’ll be there.” A few minutes later, she hung up and looked him in the face. “Yeah, so…sorry about sleeping on you.”

“Were you comfortable?” The blush on her face at his question was worth the air to ask it. “Your hair is amazing in the mornings.”

“Yeah, like yours is much better, dick.” She laughed. “So, we need to get up. I’m taking you out to breakfast and then we are gonna go shopping.”

James was honestly confused. “Why?”

Stacy sat up and put her hands on her hips, the blanket sliding off her shoulders. “James, I am not letting you spend Christmas alone. So, either you go with me to my family’s Christmas Eve thing, or I stay here with you. Your choice.”

James shook his head. “No. That’s your family. You go, I’ll be fine.”

“No.” Stacy reached over and grabbed his face, forcing him to look her in the eye. “If you don’t go, I don’t go. Christmas is not a time you should spend alone. I won’t let you be alone.”

They stared at each other for a few moments before James finally conceded. “Fine. But why do we have to go shopping?”

“Do you have dress clothes?” When he shook his head, she continued, “That’s why. Get up!”

 

After a shower, and a quick stop at Stacy’s apartment so she could grab some clothes, they went to a little diner for some breakfast. It was one of those cozy family-owned diners with the high back booths and homemade food.

Stacy watched James rub the back of his neck, a nervous tick he had. “What’s wrong?”

“Are…Is…Your family…” He took a deep breath and tried again. “Are they going to be okay with me going?”

Stacy gave him a warm, assuring smile. “My family won’t care. The more the merrier, or whatever. The whole family isn’t gonna be there at once, they come and go. The most you’ll have to deal with is Mama, Gram, Karmen, and a couple uncles. Oh, and the little kids you met before.” She paused for a second, thinking if there was anyone else to warn him about. “No one you haven’t already met.”

He nodded, but he still looked nervous.

“James, it’s not like it’s some formal event, it’s a family gathering. They come in, small talk for a while, then leave. The kids run around and be hoodlums, the adults eat junk food and laugh, that’s it. I promise you will have fun.”

He nodded again, and he gave a small smile. “Yeah, fun.”

 

Stacy drove him to the mall after breakfast and drug him straight to the men’s clothing section.

“You’re buying a color that _is not_ black or dark gray.” She stated. “Don’t argue with me. I think you’d look amazing in blue.”

James just stood there, watching this woman flicking through dress shirts, glancing at him, wrinkling her nose, and continue flicking. Finally, she pulled out a light blue shirt and handed it to him. Then, with a cock of her head, she also handed him a deep red one of the same style.

“Go, try those on. I’ll find some pants, too.” She ordered, gently pushing him toward the dressing room.

“They aren’t gonna fit.” He held the shirts up, one in each hand. “Too small, Stacy.”

“No, they’re not. You lost a lot of weight, James. Trust me, this is what size you wear. Try them on.” She gently pushed him, and the shirts still in his outstretched arms, toward the dressing room. “Go.”

James stood in the dressing room, his shirt off, and held the blue shirt in his hands. He held it up, then dropped his hands down. There was no way this was going to fit. He hadn’t been in this size for years. But, just to prove his point, he began putting it on. It was buttoning. It fit.

To say he was surprised was an understatement. How did she do that? He heard her knock on the door and opened it just far enough for her to shove a pair of pants through.

“Try these…might be too big, let me know.”

He was still surprised when the pants slipped on and fit perfectly. He took second to see himself in the full-length. He didn’t even look like himself. Without the baggy shirts, you could see his slim frame he’d worked so hard on. He actually looked good.

James opened the door and saw Stacy flipping through for shirts. He cleared his throat so she’d turn around. When she saw him, her mouth dropped open.

“Jesus fuck, James. You look fucking gorgeous!” The words rushed out before she could think. She surprised herself with what she said, but she definitely meant it. She also learned a wonderful tid-bit of information: when James blushes, the tips of his ears turn red first.

James looked down at himself, his face still a hot red, and smoothed his shirt. “Th-thanks.”

A couple of high school girls walked down the aisle and caught sight of James. They stopped, looked him up and down, looked at each other, and giggled. Walking away, James heard them whisper, “I’m walking through the men’s section more often. Damn.” His ego was boosted tenfold.

Stacy giggled and pushed him back toward the dressing room. “Try the red one.” After a quick change, James walked back out and was greeted with a bright smile. “That’s the one. Keep the red.”

Stacy bought the outfit for him, even though James protested. It didn’t matter, though, in the end. Stacy could be very forceful when she wanted to be.

 

Once they got back home, with the outfit in a bag on his bed, James convinced Stacy to play some CS:Go, just to make fun of how bad she was at it. He recorded it, for posterity, much to her dismay. He laughed at her so hard he was wheezing. He’d never seen anyone fail that hard at a first-person shooter. No amount of excuses could make up for it, either. She was just terrible.

After a long time of being made fun of, Stacy pushed away from the computer and claimed it was time to get ready. She ushered James toward his bedroom and pushed him inside.

“Laugh at me in there while you get all pretty, asshole.” She turned away, paused, then turned back again. “Grab an outfit for tomorrow. Probably won’t be back here.”

“You’re not getting ready?”

“Nah, Karmen has my outfit. I have to sing tonight, so I have to get all dolled up.” With that, she thumped down the stairs.

It took a second for the words to sink in as James dumped the outfit on the bed. She had to sing? She was willing to stay with him and give up singing? She would do that for him?

Stacy was in the kitchen when her phone rang. She answered it without looking at the display, just assuming it was Karmen bitching about her being late.

_“I have some great news for Mr. Wilson,”_ the man at the airline started. _“I can get him on a flight for Christmas day, one o’clock. And, we are giving him an extra seat to make up for the mishap. Would that be okay?”_

Stacy was ecstatic, practically bouncing in place. “Yes, yes thank you. Oh, he will be so happy. Thank you!”

_“You’re welcome, ma’am. His tickets will be at the gate, just tell him to give his name.”_

Stacy thanked him again before hanging up. She was so happy for him, he was going to go home after all. She heard a noise behind her, and turned to see James all showered and dressed. And he looked amazing.

“Can I still wear my DC’s?” Stacy could barely keep the smile off her face as she nodded. “Why do you look like you just won the lottery?”

Stacy was ready to explode. “Look, don’t be mad. I, um…may have gotten involved with the whole plane ticket fiasco.” James gave her an unreadable expression, but she continued. “They, um, they refunded the tickets…but they also got you another flight home. You leave tomorrow at one.”

She barely got the last sentence out before James’ smile broke out. “Are you serious?”

“Yup, tickets are at the gate. And he gave you an extra one, for some reason.”

James closed the gap between them and picked her up, twirling her around. Her bright, clear giggle ringing out through the house.

“You’re amazing!” He kissed her, a quick peck, before running into the kitchen to grab his phone. “Wait, I shouldn’t tell her. I should surprise her, right? Mom is gonna shit!”

He was still talking, but Stacy was frozen, her fingers on her lips. She could still feel him there, the light press of his lips on hers. It felt like electricity. She realized he was talking to her, and that she’d been zoning out, so she turned to face him.

“You should come with me. Come to Pennsylvania with me. I mean, you’re the only reason I’m going as it is.”

She was shocked. “Really? You want me to meet your mom?”

James looked confused. “Yeah. Well, I mean, unless you don’t want to. You wanna stay with your family, right? I mean, it’s Christmas, why wouldn’t you?”

“I would love to.” She said, bringing a bright smile to James’ face.

_I…I think I’m in love with him…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm trying to average at least 1500 words per chapter. Is that good for you all? Please give me feedback. I love the kudos, but I want someone to tell me if I'm doing anything wrong. Please? <3


	11. So Cliché

Although Stacy told James they were going early, there were already a ton of cars in front of the farm house. Stacy pulled in an available spot in front of the garage.

“You ready?” She asked, putting her hand on James’ arm. He nodded and gave her a small smile.

When they were out of the car, James began walking toward the house, but noticed Stacy wasn’t following. Instead, she was opening a door on the side of the garage. Confused, he turned and followed her. There were a set of stairs with another door on the top. She went to that door and turned the knob, but it was locked.

“Bitch, let me in!” Stacy yelled, knocking on the door.

James heard muffled yelling, then the door opened. It was Karmen. He always assumed she lived with Mama and Gram, but apparently she lived in a small apartment above the garage. Stacy walked in and motioned for James to follow her, but he was apprehensive.

“Do you need invited in?” Karmen asked. “Are you a vampire?”

“Shut up.” He walked in the apartment and watched as Stacy and Karmen began arguing immediately.

“You’re late, whore.” Karmen grabbed Stacy’s arm and began pushing her to, what James assumed, was a bedroom.

Stacy sputtered as she was pushed. “Karmen! Stop! I need a shower first!”

Karmen was surprisingly strong and literally shoved Stacy in the door. “Fine. The dress is behind the door, get it on. I’ll do your hair and makeup, because you are a train wreck.” She turned to James and smiled. “You look great, James.”

He felt his face heat up. “Thanks. Stacy picked it out.”

Karmen sat down on a chair and motioned for him to sit across from her. “Have a seat, let’s talk.” As soon as James sat down, Karmen jumped right into her choice of conversation. “On a scale from one to ten, just how much do you wanna rail my sister?”

James legitimately choked on his own saliva. “Wh-what?”

“I’m not stupid, I see the way you look at her.” Karmen sat forward, leaning toward him. “I’m not against it, neither is she. Just saying.”

There was a long pause, leaving James to process what Karmen was telling him. Assuming she was telling the truth, Stacy wasn’t against it. He knew they were friends, close friends, but that was where it ended, right?

Stacy peeking out the door in a towel pulled James from his thoughts. His eyes trailed down her body, until Karmen walked in front of him, cutting off his view. The girls went off to finish getting ready, and James was left to his own devices.

When the girls were done, James was already lost in his own head, running thoughts of Stacy actually being interested in dating him, and how he felt about that, into the ground. Karmen must have talked to him, but James was too lost. It was Stacy who pulled him back to reality, with a hand to his cheek.

“James? You okay?”

He looked up and couldn’t believe what he saw. He’d seen her in a dress before, the long, flowing white one she wore when they heard her sing, but never in one like this. It was a deep burgundy color and hugged her curves dangerously well. She looked amazing, and James realized that he still hadn’t spoken when her mouth curved into a worried frown.

“Fucking beautiful.” That was the first thing that popped out of his mouth, the first thought that came to his head, and he just spit it out. For a second he was afraid he went too far, said something wrong, but the smile she gave him was bright and wide.

“Th-thanks, James.” She looked down at herself, smoothing out the dress. She looked shy, suddenly, and unsure, but she was still smiling, her eyes shining.

Karmen stood to the side, watching them. When were they going to get out of their head and tell each other? It’s like a bad fan fiction with these two. Shaking her head, she came over and pulled James off the chair. “C’mon, Gram will be bitching we’re late.” She pushed them out the door.  

 

The inside of the farm house was a clusterfuck of activity. People hurriedly bringing food and chairs into the living room, the kitchen looking like a well-stocked bakery, and Gram playing supervisor just directing the whole situation.

“Damn it, Kendra! Put the chair by the tree, not the couch!”

Mama came over, dusting her hands off on her apron, and directed the girls to the kitchen. She hugged James and smiled. “I’m so happy you came, hon. Christmas should be spent with family, and blood doesn’t always dictate family.”

James smiled. “Thanks, Mama. Where do you want me?”

“In my bed! Damn, boy!” Gram said, seeing him standing there and rushing over. “Stacy do that?”

“The clothes? Yeah.”

“I’ll bet she can’t wait to do you, too.” Gram never failed to make James blush. “Oh, you are so adorable.” She pinched his cheeks and laughed.

Mama just shook her head. “You’re a guest, you don’t have to work, dear. Go get some food.” She ran her hands down his side. “You’re getting too skinny, you need to eat.”

Gram chimed in as he was shooed away, “If I find out I can see your collarbone, I’ll force feed your ass, James!”

Stacy and Karmen were stacking cookies on fancy little trays when James entered the kitchen. He swooped past and grabbed whichever cookie Stacy was holding right out of her hand.

“Asshole.” She laughed.

He leaned against the counter and watched the girls work. It was like a dance, the way they twirled around each other. Stacy’s dress was swooshing around her thighs when she turned, giving James a nice view of her legs. He was enjoying his view as he munched on his cookie.

“So, I heard Gram yelling at you about seeing your collarbone.” Karmen carried a tray over to where James was leaning and sat it beside him. “She always says if she can see it, then you’ve lost too much weight, that it’s not healthy.”

“You can’t see mine.” James stole another cookie off the tray Karmen just sat down.

Being so much like her Gram, Karmen grabbed his shirt and popped a couple buttons. James jumped. “Damn, Kar. Buy me dinner first.” Ignoring him, she pulled his shirt to the side and prodded where his collarbone should be.

“Okay, you pass.”

“Quit molesting him, Karmen.” Stacy laughed.

“He likes it.” She said, throwing a wink over her shoulder. James just shook his head and buttoned his shirt back up.

 

People had begun filing in the house, and James stayed in the kitchen. So many people he didn’t know, especially since they were all someone else’s family, was overwhelming. Stacy stayed close to him all night, only leaving his side to get him a drink. That was, until Gram grabbed his hand and forced him to mingle. He met so many people, there was no way he could remember their names. It didn’t help that Gram introduced him as ‘Stacy’s friend’ and used air-quotes, as if she was hinting at something else. By the time they were done, Stacy was nowhere to be seen. He tried looking over the sea of people to see her red hair, which Karmen had pulled in a messy bun, but to no avail.

Suddenly a piano started playing and he saw her hop on top of it. He made his way through the crowd to stand next to Mama. Stacy was going to sing, and James was excited. He loved hearing her sing.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

_Let your heart be light_

James was practically swooning as he watched her, her mother wrapping an arm around his and leaning her head on his shoulder. Gram was playing the piano, he noted, but never took his eyes off Stacy. She always looked so happy when she sang, so alive. He was mesmerized.

When the song ended, their eyes met. Everything everyone has been telling him clicked into place. _He loved her._

 

A couple hours later everyone had begun leaving. Many taking their kids to bed, the childless ones were drunk and wanted to sleep. With the house suddenly empty, it was eerily quiet. Stacy and Karmen were putting the perishable food away, and boxing up the cookies, while Gram and Mama yawned. Mama ushered James upstairs to get his shower first.

When he was done, the girls were finished with the food. Karmen went to her own apartment, and Stacy went for a shower in the other bathroom. Gram snuck in after James, saying he better not have used all the hot water. James stood in the kitchen, drinking ice tea, when Mama came in.

“Honey, you know we love you. And we love how happy you’ve made Stacy. I hope, soon, you two realize what you actually mean to each other.” Mama hugged him and went upstairs.

He stood there for a while, a half glass of ice tea just dangling in his hand, when Stacy came in. He had heard Gram talking and doors slamming upstairs. Finally, everyone went to bed.

“So, how was it?” Stacy asked. “Have a little fun, at least?”

James smiled. “My favorite part was hearing you sing again.”

She blushed as she leaned against the door frame. She was picking at the hem of her shorts, clearly embarrassed. “Was my family nice to you?”

He chose to ignore her question in favor of what he realized was hanging over her head. Mistletoe. James was laughing in his head about how cliché this was as he closed the gap between them. Surely Karmen nor her own mother would lie to him about what was between them, right? So, if he just kissed her…

When he closed the gap between them, and her eyes met his, he realized this felt incredibly right. He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. Within an instant, she returned the kiss, deepening it. Her hands were around his neck as his hands migrated to her sides.

They were lost in each other, nothing else was around them. James had entirely forgot he was in her family’s house, that her mother and grandmother were just upstairs. With just the sensation of her, he reached his hands down to her hips and lifted her up. She was on his level, now, and his neck wasn’t craned down. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he leaned her back against the wall.

His hair was down, due to taking a shower, and he felt her bury her fingers in it. When she gripped his hips tighter, essentially grinding herself into him, he groaned. She smiled against his mouth and pulled him impossibly closer.

“Jesus Christ, this is the kitchen!”

They both jumped, cracking their foreheads together. They heard a laugh as they turned around, seeing Gram standing in front of the fridge. James’ face couldn’t have gotten more red, the embarrassment growing hot on his face. Stacy, however, didn’t give a shit.

“Fuck, Gram! You could have given us a concussion!”

“ _You’re_ making out in _my_ kitchen, and _you’re_ yelling at _me_?” She put her hands on her hips, glaring at the younger two. “Go upstairs. Separate rooms. You two are not fucking in my house.”

With a roll of her eyes, Stacy turned to James and sighed, then headed toward the stairs. James’ face was still red as he glanced in Gram’s direction.

“Sorry, Gram.”

Gram just laughed. “I’m not mad. You’ll get used to me eventually.” She waved him off. He started to walk toward the stairs when he heard Gram add, “I _am_ serious about you two not fucking in my house. Separate rooms.” James felt like a horny teenager being scolded by his girlfriend’s mother.

Stacy was standing in front of her bedroom door when he topped the stairs, ringing her hands together. She looked nervous, like she wasn’t sure whether to stay or hide in her room. James understood her. It all happened so fast, neither one had time to process what was happening. He walked up to her, taking her hands in his.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen _you_ stuck in your head.”

She gave him a weak smile. “Was…was that just some spur of the moment thing, or…”

“Do you want it to be?”

It took her a while to answer, but she meekly let out a, “no.”

James smiled. “Me either.”

Her head snapped up to meet his eyes. “Really?”

“I…” James wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell her ‘I love you,’ but she deserved to know how he felt. “I really like you. As in I wanna take you on a date and hold your hand. All that sappy shit.”

She giggled. “I’d like that.”

“You still want to go to PA with me?” He asked.

“Do you still want me to go?”

James laughed. “This really isn’t getting us anywhere.” He brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I want to introduce you to my Mom as my girlfriend, if that’s cool.”

A smile, and then a quick press to his lips was her answer. “I better get to sleep, then. Cause we have a flight to catch.”

He pulled her in for a good night kiss before walking to his own room. As he laid down, his mind played her smile and the feeling of her kiss on replay. _Girlfriend._ He liked the sound of that.


	12. Meet the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of liberties I took in this chapter are massive. Since I know less than nothing about James' family, except what his Mom sounds like, I took this all from my imagination. 
> 
> I am assuming his Mom and Dad are divorced, and his Dad lives somewhere else? And he never talks about any other siblings...so I gave him some. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Thank you!

James wasn’t sure when Stacy had the time, but apparently, her family knew about going to Pennsylvania. Gram woke them up early by pounding on their door. She waited in the hallway for them to emerge from their rooms, which James suspected was to make sure they did go to separate rooms.

Once downstairs, all clad in pajamas, Karmen pulled gifts from under the tree. When she handed James a gift, he shook his head.

“No, I didn’t get anyone anything. I don’t want something from you guys.”

Gram huffed and pushed herself off the couch, taking the present from Karmen. “James, we got you this because we wanted to. Because you were going to be alone on Christmas, and no one deserves that. You need to know, to understand, that we care about you. That you don’t have to be family for us to care about you. Now take this fucking present before I shove it up your ass.”

There were tears in his eyes as he pulled Gram in for a hug. “This better not be a dildo.”

She just winked as an answer and went back to her seat.

James looked up to see Stacy’s eyes shining back at him. She smiled, urging him to open his box. He realized that everyone was waiting on him, so he started peeling the paper off. A GoPro box awaited him under the paper. He looked up, still misty-eyed, and smiled.

“Thank you.”

Mama turned to focus to the girls, who were clutching matching boxes in their hands. The woman barely told them to open it before the girls ripped the ribbon off the velvet box and opened it. With wide eyes, they looked at each other and began crying. They attacked the older women in hugs, still crying over their boxes. James was confused, but didn’t want to interrupt.

They returned to their seats and pulled matching chains and pendants out of the box, helping each other put them on. The pendant just seemed to be a simple heart, but he couldn’t get a good look from where he was sitting.

After the presents were opened, and hugs were given, James and Stacy left the farm house. Stopping at each of their houses, they packed their luggage.

Once on the plane, and in the air, James got enough courage to ask about the pendant she’d been clutching.

“It’s my Dad’s dog tag. When he passed away, me and Karmen saw this thing about getting jewelry melted down into something else. So, we asked Mom and Gram for one of Dad’s dog tags. We were gonna have it cut in half so we each had an equal part of his tag for us. They…they didn’t seem to want to part with it, so we dropped it.” She paused, rubbing the pendant between her fingers. “They…they actually…Jesus, they actually did it.”

James smiled, “That’s awesome. I never thought of doing something like that.” There was a long pause where James noticed Stacy was lost in thought. He decided to fix that. “So…last night was cool.”

She laughed. “Cool? We made out under the mistletoe, which was cliché as fuck, by the way, and all I get is _cool_?”

“It was an opportunity I could not pass up.”

“I’m happy you didn’t.” She smiled, pulling James in for another kiss. The man in the end seat groaned and mumbled, but the two ignored him.

The rest of the flight was spent playing twenty questions. They covered everything they had missed during their mutual chick flick movie, and then some.

“Okay, next question: What all family am I gonna meet?” Stacy asked, her fingers laced with James’.

“Mom. My brother, Jackson, and his wife, Autumn. Their two kids Carter and Mariah.” He was counting on his free hand. “My other brother, Jared, won’t be here. He’s still in Iraq as far as I know. That’s it.”

Stacy nodded along, but inside she was nervous. This was his mother. She was just some random girl who will show up with him. What if she didn’t like that? What if she didn’t like Stacy?

She must have been stuck in her head for a while, because she felt James lean closer to her. “I can hear you thinking.”

She snickered. “Sorry…just nervous, I guess.” After a pause, she added, “Were you this nervous to meet my family?”

With a laugh, he said, “Oh, hell yes.”

 

They were off the plane and in front of the rental car company next to the airport. James wanted an SUV to combat the snow that recently fell in Lancaster. When they were finally on the road, James tuned the radio to some rock station and was singing quietly as they drove past small country towns. Stacy smiled, not wanting to interrupt his singing she rarely heard. The towns were small and quaint, and she barely blinked before a new town sign was drove past. Finally, a big wooden sign saying ‘Welcome to Lancaster’ was creeping up on them, and Stacy sat up in her seat. This is where James grew up, and she wanted to take it all in.

They drove down the main highway before turning off onto a small backroad. James smiled, realizing that some things you just don’t forget, like the turns to make that take you home. It was just as he remembered it, his Mom never changing a thing about the house. Even her car parked outside in the same spot he remembered it from last year. When they pulled in the driveway, he watched Stacy’s face out of his peripheral vision. She was all eyes, trying to see everything at once. It was endearing.

James turned in his seat to grab Stacy’s hand. “Stop over thinking this. Just smile, be yourself, and Mom will love you.”

She nodded, trying to give herself some courage. “I’m just excited to hear what nickname your Mom calls you.”

James shook his head and began getting out of the car. They unloaded their bags and walked up to the house. Where James would normally just walk in, he wanted the element of surprise, so he rang the doorbell. Stacy thought she was going deaf when the door opened.

The woman who opened the door stopped and stared for a second and then screamed, “JAMIE!”

James was nearly tackled to the ground in a hug as the woman practically jumped on him.

“You said you couldn’t come. You said I wouldn’t get to see you until after the new year. Oh my God, Jamie, how?”

James just smiled and held the woman by the shoulders. “She is the reason I’m here, Mom.”

James’ Mom finally noticed Stacy standing there. She looked Stacy up and down, then loudly whispered at James. “Is this Stacy?” James confirmed. “Come here, girl. Look at you!”

Stacy got a hug that wasn’t as painful as the one James got, and smiled. “Hello.”

“Call me Dina. I’m so happy to finally meet you! James talks about you all the time, and it’s nice to put a face to the name.” She grabbed her hand and began pulling Stacy in the house. “Come in. Shit, Jamie, the kids are going to be so happy to see you.”

Once inside, James was bombarded by two children, one wrapped around each leg. “Uncle Jamie!”

James dropped his luggage and hugged the children. “You two grew so much! Wow!”

“What happened to you, Uncle Jamie?” The boy, Carter, asked. “You’re late.”

“Yeah, the airport screwed up my flight. But I’m here now.”

A tall man, with James same curly hair, came out of the kitchen. “Damn, Jamie. What have you been doing? You look great, bro.”

“Hey, Jackson.” James hugged him awkwardly, as the children still haven’t let go of his legs. “I’ve been working out, actually.”

There was also a woman who came out with dark brown hair. She walked up and pulled James down into a bone crushing hug. “My little Jamie. God, I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you, too, Autumn.”

Once Jackson convinced the kids to let James go, James reached behind him and held out his hand. Stacy took it and let him pull her beside him.

“This is my girlfriend, Stacy.”

The couple stopped and looked at Stacy strangely. Then, as if realizing they were staring, jumped into action.

“Wonderful to meet you.” Jackson said, pulling her in for a hug. Then, once he pulled her in, he whispered, “You’re the first girl he’s ever brought home.”

Still reeling from James introducing her as his girlfriend, she almost missed what Jackson had whispered. When she caught it, she looked at him questioningly. He minutely nodded with a small smile. The woman smiled at her before giving her a hug. This family was as inviting as her own, and Stacy was beginning to lose the nerves that built up on the plane.

It was then another man came out of the kitchen. He was as tall as James, but had a lanky build. He leaned against the doorway with a cocky smirk on his face. “Girlfriend? I always thought you were gay.”

James head snapped up. “J-Jared?”

Stacy could see Dina standing in the background, a huge smile on her face. James crossed the room fast, practically jumping on his brother.

“Shit, Jamie. I missed you, too.”

From what Stacy remembered, Jared had been gone for two years. James was worried about him, but didn’t talk about it much. She had to pry that out of him. One thing about James, he always carried everything on the inside. Unless you could really look into his eyes, you would never tell he was worried, or sad.

The little girl, Mariah, pulled on Stacy’s pant leg. “Is Uncle Jamie staying for a little while?”

Smiling, Stacy answered, “I think he said a whole week.”

Mariah smiled and ran off to her brother.

Dina pushed James and Stacy upstairs to unpack their luggage, and whispered something to James. When they got to the top of the stairs, he took her to the first room on the right and opened the door.

“This is my old room. Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back, gotta get the kiddos presents.”

With that, James left Stacy to set her luggage down and look around the room. Posters of Playboy models and video games littered his wall. Typical teenage boy. It looked like his mother had come in and tidied up at some point, Stacy couldn’t image any teenage boy keeping his room this neat. She was looking at some pictures he had on his dresser when he came back in. One specific picture caught her eye.

“Is this Joe?”

James glanced in her direction and nodded. “Joe and his emo phase.”

“So…” She sidled up to him, a cocky smile on her face, “Jamie.”

“This knowledge stays in Pennsylvania. No negotiations.”

She giggled. “Sure.” She drew out the word as James glared at her. “I was right, though. I should get some kind of reward.”

With a sweet smile, James handed her tissue paper and gift bags. “Your reward. Wrap this shit.”

“Wow. You give the best rewards.” She deadpanned, conceding to her punishment of bagging up the children’s presents. “Did you have these shipped here?”

“Amazon is my hero.” James answered, opening his luggage and digging around. He retrieved a wrapped box and threw it on the bed.

“Which bag does that go in?” She asked.

“None. It’s for Mom.”

With the bagged items, and the wrapped box, in hand, they walked back downstairs where the children were waiting impatiently.

“Uncle Jamie, did you bring us presents?”

“Carter! You don’t ask for gifts!” Autumn corrected him, but he just shrugged.

“Uncle Jamie always buys us the best gifts.”

Stacy watched James’ chest puff out in pride as he handed Carter his bag. Stacy handed Mariah hers and they opened them together. Inside were two large Nerf guns they were more than excited over.

“Jamie, I told you,” Autumn came over, poking a finger in James’ chest. “No. More. Guns.”

James just shrugged her off. “What good is an uncle if he can’t spoil the kids?”

“Not the point.” Autumn said, shaking her head.

She watched Jackson sit down on the couch and help the kids prepare the guns, giving them a ‘do not shoot people’ lecture as he went. James walked to his mother and handed her the box. She ripped it open and put her hand over mouth.

“Oh, Jamie, it’s beautiful.”

When Stacy got closer, she saw it was a ring with colored stones in a pattern. Dina slipped it on her finger as her eyes misted up.

“It’s a birthstone ring. One for each of us kids and the grand kids.” James said, pointing toward the different birthstones. Dina grabbed James for another hug and whispered out how happy she was.

It was amazing watching them together, watching how James interacted with his family. Knowing that she was the first girlfriend James had ever brought there made her heart skip. This man was complex, but he was a huge teddy bear underneath everything. And she loved him.

 


	13. There's A First Time For Everything...

The next two days flew by in a haze of baby pictures, embarrassing stories, and James’ blushing. Dina was sweet and just excited to have Stacy there, to meet the girl her son has been talking about for months. With all of Dina’s kids home, the house was always loud with laughs and fake arguments. Stacy tried to keep out of the way, to let the family connect. Dina always made time to whip out the photo albums and regale Stacy with tales of young James. Stacy may have come away with tons of baby pictures on her phone. She also may have sent some to Mama and Gram.  

The family found James and Stacy’s relationship story interesting, also that they were literally dating for seventy-two hours at that point.

“So,” Jared started, “you two haven’t been on a date? Or anything?” They both shook their heads. “So, you haven’t slept with her, yet?”

Dina reached over and slapped his arm. “Jared!”

“What? It’s an honest question!”

James shook his head. “When would we have had the _time_ , Jared?”

“I didn’t realize I would sleep with someone before I even had a _date_.” Stacy said, shooting James a glare. “Cause I’m apparently _that kind of girl_.”

Autumn and Dina both started laughing, while James tried to backtrack his statement.

“You are going to fit in here so well.” Jackson smiled at her. “So well.”

 

On Tuesday night, Jackson and his family left for home in Philadelphia. Jackson and Autumn had to go back to work, and the kids had to go back to school. Without the kids, the house got decibels quieter. Then on Wednesday morning, Dina went back to work and Jared was going to visit friends. Before Dina walked out the door, she looked at James. “Take that girl on a date.”

So, that afternoon saw James taking Stacy downtown for an actual first date. James knew that Stacy was not the expensive restaurant, get all dressed up kind of girl. She was laid back, wants to have fun kind of girl. So, he had an idea: mini golf. There was an indoor mini golf course with an amazing pizza place next door in downtown Lancaster.  

He saw Stacy coming down the stairs, so he asked her, officially, out on a date. She just laughed out a ‘yes.’

Stacy enjoyed being out with James, officially as his girlfriend. It was great being able to kiss him when he was just being adorable, or hold his hand without needing an excuse. It was strange how, once meeting someone she could honestly fall in love with, she began caring about how she looked around him. She never cared, before. If the guy didn’t like her how she was, then goodbye to them. Now she felt like she had to dress up and do her nails, just so James would notice. It was pathetic, she knew, but she felt like a teenage girl with a crush. With that thought, she began giggling.

“What are you laughing at?” James asked as they waited in line at the mini golf course.

Stacy laced her fingers through his and smiled up at him. “Our first date is mini golf. We’re like teenagers.”

“Maybe we can make out in the back of my car after?” James wiggled his eyebrows and Stacy bumped her shoulder against his.

“Maybe.” She looked up at James with a smirk on her face, pecking him on the cheek. “Depends if you’re a good boy.”

 

James never realized being with a girl could be like this. The biggest problem they were facing was rather Stacy’s golf ball with the Thor logo was better than James’ Superman ball. A relationship has never been this easy, this fun. They spent the entire game bumping each other and picking on each other. The score was terrible at the end, but they were laughing and smiling, and all the awkwardness James always experienced during a date was nonexistent.

At the end, there was a special hole set up. If you got a hole in one, you got a free meal from the pizza place. Stacy was bouncing up and down, wanting to try. James just laughed and got ready to attempt this impossible hole.

With a “good luck,” Stacy hit her ball…and it went straight in. An alarm went off while the bored looking attendant handed her a slip of paper for her free meal. James’ turn came up and his ball circled the hole twice before finally going in, but it was still a hole in one, and James got his free meal.

After sitting at their table and ordering, Stacy began laughing again.

“I am a cheap date!”

James laughed. “We got damn lucky.”

 

On the way home, James ran into a bazaar he had forgotten about. The bazaar showcased hand made products and sold them. He pulled into the parking lot, confusing Stacy.

“Where are we?”

“Winter bazaar. Mom used to take us here all the time.” James was getting out of the car, and Stacy followed.

The bazaar was fascinating. Stacy watched them make glass, which captured her attention for at least twenty minutes. When he finally pulled her away, she began dragging him from booth to booth.

While Stacy was browsing a baked goods stand, James found a handmade jewelry stand. What caught his eye was a necklace with the Skyrim symbol on it. The young woman was wearing a Mass Effect N7 shirt, so he decided to browse.

“Looking for anything special?” She asked.

James thought for a second, thinking back on their conversation on the plane.

_What’s your favorite video game?_

_Dragon Age. Don’t laugh at me! Alistair and Cullen are gorgeous!_

“Do you have anything from Dragon Age? My girl loves that game.” James still felt funny calling Stacy his girl, it still made his stomach feel butterflies.

The girls face lit up. “Which character?”

“Alistair or Cullen.”

“Oh!” The girl dug into a tote on the ground next to her. “She’s a Templar girl. I’ve got just the thing.”

She pulled a glass box out and sat it on the ground. Then she pulled up a tray of necklaces and sat it in front of him.

“What’s in the glass box?” James asked, trying to crane his neck around to see the contents.

The girl eyed him for a second. “How much do you know about the video game?”

“I played the second one part way. Just wasn’t my kind of game.”

“Okay…well then this won’t make sense to you. But I invite you to YouTube Alistair’s romance scene with a female Warden. It’s a resin-dipped rose,” She picked the glass box up and sat it on the counter. “He gave the Warden a rose, then says the most romantic line in the game. I’m an Alistair girl, too. He’s my favorite.”

“So…since she’s played them all, multiple times, she’ll get this?”

“If she’s any kind of Dragon Age fan, then she knows this scene. No matter who she romanced, they know of this scene.”

After some consideration, James bought a necklace and the rose.

When Stacy came over to him, he pretended to be extremely interested in her baked good purchases. He successfully deterred her from the table he was at, the bag hanging off his arm. Stacy took all her food and they went back to the house. Dina was a nurse and worked a sixteen-hour shift, so the house was totally empty.

James wanted some privacy to watch these Dragon Age romance scenes, so he claimed needing the bathroom. Stacy wasn’t sure what to do in a foreign house all to herself, so she called her Mama and Gram, to tell them all about Lancaster.

 

James came out of the bathroom with a whole new appreciation for Dragon Age. No wonder she loved that game, it’s like a dating simulator with RPG elements. He heard Stacy talking in the kitchen, so he dug out the rose and the necklace. He had a plan, now to put it into motion.

When she hung up her cell she felt someone behind her. Then a necklace swung into view and was latched around her neck. She pulled the pendant up and saw it was different colored wire bent to look like the Templar seal.

“The Templars? Where did you find this?” She turned around with a huge smile on her face.

He ignored her question in favor of sticking with his mission. “How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much loneliness and despair?”

The way her face lit up told James he was doing something right. He turned around to grab the rose off an end table beside his Mom’s couch. When he turned around, and she saw it, she began tearing up.

“In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you.” James held the rose out to her, and she took it gently in her hands. The box was glass on top, with a dark oak bottom, to which the rose was attached. It looked like a real rose that was dipped in the resin, instead of a fake rose. It looked stunning. Stacy noticed a brass plate on the dark oak with an engraving, _“Maker’s breath, but you are beautiful.”_

She gently sat the rose down on the end table and grabbed James by the back of the neck, pulling him down for an intense kiss. When she pulled away, there was a tear making its way down her cheek. James caught it with his finger and wiped it away.

“You are amazing.” She breathed out, pulling him into another kiss. “Perfect.” Another kiss. “The greatest boyfriend ever.”

She picked the rose back up and walked up the stairs. She wanted to put this somewhere it couldn’t get broken, somewhere safe. And she wanted it near her at all times. This was romantic as fuck, and she was falling for James hard.

“Just so you know, and so you can think I’m even more amazing, I literally watched the whole romance arc from YouTube, and memorized those damn quotes.” He was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, watching Stacy try to decide where to put it. She decided on his dresser for now.

Stacy smiled and took his hand. “Well, let me show you how much I appreciate it.”

She pushed him until he was sitting on his bed and sat on his lap, facing him. She pulled his hair tie out and buried her fingers in his hair. His arms were wrapped around her middle, rubbing circles on her back.

Playing on her comment earlier about how they were like teenagers, he whispered, “My Mom’s not home, she won’t be for a while. Wanna make out?”

Stacy giggled and kissed him. “C’mon, Jamie, before we get caught!” The glare he sent her at the use of his nickname sent her into a fit of giggles again. “You said it stays in PA. We are still in PA.”

“I’m taking the rose back.”

She kissed him again, adjusting herself on his lap. He shifted himself back so she had a more comfortable position before grabbing her hips and pulling her closer to him. This time they made out, Gram wasn’t walking into the kitchen and interrupting them. They were alone, and James was a damn good kisser.

As the make out session became more intense, James hands were slowly making their way under the hem of her shirt. She arched her back into his hand when he placed it on her bare skin. It was the light moan she left out that made James pull away.

“What’s wrong?” Stacy was confused, her voice breathless and lips red. “What did I do?”

James shook his head and ran a hand across her cheek. “Nothing, baby.”

He tapped her thigh and she stood up, still wondering what she did wrong. He didn’t get up, just leaned to one side and pull his wallet out. He began looking through it, a serious look on his face. Then his eyes lit up as he pulled out a condom.

Stacy just started laughing. “Jesus, James! I thought I did something wrong, and all you wanted was a damn condom?”

“Did I get this wrong? Is this not what we’re doing?”

Stacy was still laughing as she climbed back on his lap and kissed him. She pulled her shirt off as an answer and began pulling at his. “You are fucking adorable.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write smut. I tried, it sounded so terrible, so I just shut that shit down like I was late on a cable bill. 
> 
> Also...I just blended two of my favorite fandoms together. Dayum! And, if a guy did any of this for me, there would be sex in their future. True that. XD
> 
> And, btw, James is adorable, I adore him, and I also noticed I have a fetish for burying my hands in that majestic hair of his. *le sigh*


	14. New Year, New You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed a day, and this one is late. I've been sick. Stomach flu is going around, and I fucking caught it. Go figure. I hate germs. *blah*
> 
> Hope this all came out well. I tried to proof read, but my stomach is getting queasy and I'm gonna lie down. 
> 
> <3 you!

They were basking in the afterglow, and the knowledge that they had sex in James’ childhood room. She was laying with her head on his chest drawing lazy circles with her fingertips. He was brushing his fingers through her hair. Just a lovely, lazy afterglow.

“You’re beautiful.”

James just laughed. “I’m a man. Men aren’t beautiful.”

“Bullshit.” She craned her neck up to look at him. “You’re _my_ man. If I want to call you beautiful, I will.”

 He pulled her up for a kiss, smiling. “ _You_ are beautiful.”

They laid a while long before Stacy sat straight up in bed.

“I…I slept with you on the first date.” She looked at James with wide eyes. “I _am_ that kind of girl.”

He sat up, laughing so hard he clutched his stomach.

“James, this stays in PA. Just like Jaime, this stays in PA.”

Once James composed himself, he looked at her, tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard.

“Baby, you are not _that kind of girl_ ,” He even used air quotes to emphasize. “Not even close.”

“We definitely didn’t do this conventionally.” She smiled, kissing him. “This still stays right here. In PA. In your fucking teenage bedroom. Holy shit.” Her smile melted away as the realization hit her.

James just shook his head, chuckling. “If it makes you feel better, you’re the only woman I’ve ever had in this bed. I’ve always done it at their houses.”

“Not sure if I feel better or worse, actually.” She sighed. “I’m going for a shower, and to contemplate on my new ho status.”

After pulling James t-shirt over her head, she dug out her clothes and went to the bathroom, leaving a laughing James to laugh with himself. She turned on the hot water and sat her clothes on the counter by the sink. When she looked in the mirror, she saw the dark purple mark on her neck. A hickey? He gave her a hickey? When? She never even felt it!

She stomped out of the bathroom and back into James’ room. “Bastard!”

He looked up and saw her pointing at the mark on her neck. His wheezing laugh started all over again and Stacy glared, slamming the door.

Slipping his boxers on quickly, he followed her into the bathroom. James caught her around the middle, hugging her against him. He pressed a kiss where the hickey was, a cocky smile on his face. She gave a half-assed attempt to break free, but gave up, settling back against him. They were facing the mirror and both of their eyes met in the reflection.

“The hickey looks good on you.” James said. Then, with a cocky smirk, he added, “You looked good with me on you, too.”

With a roll of her eyes, Stacy playfully smacked his arm. “That was the worst line ever.” Stacy took a minute to just watch James’ reflection. His hair was wild, sticking up everywhere. “Fucking love your hair.”

“Yeah, it’s a hot mess.” James said with a laugh, running a hand through it.

“ _You’re_ a hot mess.”

James laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “And you said _I_ come up with bad lines?”

Stacy turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. “We are gonna run out of hot water if I don’t get in the shower soon.”

“We shouldn’t waste water.” He smirked. “We should get in together.”

Smiling, Stacy started backing up, taking his hand. “Hmm, maybe we should.”

 

It was New Year’s Eve when the two boarded their flight home. Within minutes of takeoff, Stacy had her arms wrapped around James’ one arm, her head on his shoulder, and she was sleeping. James couldn’t resist, snapping a picture of them. He tweeted it with the caption _Thanks for keeping me company, bitch._ Stacy’s phone woke her up about twenty minutes later, vibrating with a text message. She pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to James.

“Tell them to fuck off.”

With a smirk, James opened the text. “Gram wants to know if you’ll be home in time to sing tonight.”

“Sing for what?” She asked, unwrapping herself from James.

He laughed, “New Year’s, Stace.”

“Oh.” Stacy blinked a few times. “Yeah, okay, sure. What am I singing?”

“I dunno.” He handed the phone back to Stacy. “Guess I have to buy another shirt.”

It took a second for it to sink in to her sleep-addled brain before Stacy started laughing. “Let’s do light blue this time.

James just shrugged. “Whatever. I’ll let you decide what clothes you put on me.”

“This time, I won’t have to stop myself from taking them off you, either.”

“You didn’t have to last time, either.” James smirked.

When her phone vibrated again, Stacy looked at the message and groaned. “I swear to God they overestimate my singing ability.”

“Nah, they know you’re amazing.”

“Shut up.” Stacy smirked. “Gram said I don’t have to sing Auld Lang Syne ‘cause I got myself a man to make out with at midnight.”

James laughed. “Well, that’s fucking nice of her.”

“I do have to sing Ariana Grande, though. Into You. I know the song by heart, but I don’t have her range.” Stacy queued the song up on her phone and played it for James.

“You’ve got that.” James nodded to himself. “Your voice can do anything.”

Stacy just laughed. “Now you’re overestimating me?”

“Maybe your _under_ estimating yourself?”

“Shut up.”

 

James walked into the New Year’s Eve party in his sky-blue shirt fresh from the store. The Barn was decorated with all the typical New Year’s decorations, with a girl at the door handing out twenty seventeen glasses and cone hats. Stacy grabbed a pair of glasses out of the box and slid them on James, giggling at how silly he looked.

“You look like an asshole.” Gram said, coming up behind Stacy. “But I still love you, James.” Gram totally ignored her own granddaughter and hugged James. “But, damn, do you look good in that shirt.”

“No, Gram. I’m not standing here. Your own granddaughter, your own flesh and blood, standing here. Alone.”

Gram looked at Stacy over her shoulder and snorted. “Bitch, learn to share.”

“Whore.”

James just laughed at their interaction. He missed this family immensely while he was in PA. It was great seeing his family, but Stacy’s family had become his, also. While to two women argued, James looked at the crowd of people. He swore none of Stacy’s family looked alike. There was a resemblance between his family, mainly the hair and the eyes. With Stacy’s family, there was none of that. He couldn’t tell who was related and who wasn’t.

“James?” He was checked out again, but Stacy’s voice had a way of bringing him back. “You okay?”

Gram was gone, he noticed. Stacy had her hand on his cheek, a worried look on her face.

“I’m fine, just looking around.” She didn’t look convinced, and James didn’t blame her. He hated being stuck in his own head. “Seriously, I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh. Well, let’s get a drink, okay?”

After they got their drinks and sat down, James pointed out how none of her family looks alike. Stacy laughed. “I guess we don’t.”

Mama and Karmen came over and sat down with them.

“How was PA?” Karmen asked. “Since no one called me, or text me, or sent fucking smoke signals…”

Stacy rolled her eyes. “I was busy, Karmen.”

“Yeah, with James’ dick.” James choked over his beer. Karmen laughed.

“Jesus, Karmen!” Mama smacked Karmen on the back of the head. “You’re embarrassing James.”

Finally regained his composure, James laughed. “You’d think I’d be used to you all by now.”

At ten o’clock, Stacy’s Uncle Darrel told her to go get ready. Once she disappeared back stage, James sat down the Gram, Mama, and Karmen. They chatted about PA until Uncle Darrel announced Stacy coming on stage.

_I’m so into you_  
_I can barely breathe_  
 _And all I wanna do_  
 _Is to fall in deep_

James was enjoying her singing until a thought hit him. Eventually he had to get up on that stage and sing. It was part of the bet they made, and he knew if Stacy turned around that backless dress she had on would show off her part of the bet. With a sigh, he tried to get lost in Stacy’s voice and push aside that thought.

They only half an hour to go before the ball dropped, and Stacy was sitting at their table watching all the couples dancing. Gram had stolen James for more family introductions and still hadn’t brought him back. It was Karmen who found him in the crowd and pulled him from Gram’s forced conversations.

“Stacy’s bored,” Karmen said into James’ ear. “Dance with her.”

James really appreciated the direction Karmen gave him, but knew he had two left feet. And no one likes being stepped on. Once he got back to the table, dodging people on the way, he saw what Karmen meant. Stacy was leaning on the table, ripping a napkin to shreds. She knew that Gram would bring James back eventually, but she was bored. And maybe a little lonely. Being with someone twenty-four seven for several days in a row would do that to you.

She felt someone touch her arm and looked up. Two big brown eyes looked down at her with his hand held out.

“Dance with me?”

Stacy smiled and nodded, following him to the dance floor. It didn’t matter that James stepped on her foot, or that she had to lead. What mattered was the feel of his hand on the small of her back and the smell of him as she laid her head on his chest. She heard a vibration in his chest and soon realized he was singing the slow song they were dancing to. Sighing with contentedness, Stacy snuggled further into James’ embrace. This was how she wanted all of twenty seventeen to be. Just her, James, and cuddles.

The slow kiss they shared at midnight was the perfect start to their, hopefully, perfect year.


	15. They cannot break you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stomach flu can go to hell! Fuck!
> 
> I'm back. Hopefully me and the toilet can finally break up and I can get back to dreaming about James' hair. Yeah...that wasn't creepy at all...nope.
> 
> I'M BACK, BITCHES!

Work at the _chophouse_ , which was Stacy’s name for it that just would not catch on, returned to normal the first week of 2017. With most of the group getting too drunk to function until the third of January, the house didn’t see any action until the fourth.

Stacy was the last to show up to the house that day, having to pick up a package at the post office for the guys. She ended up picking up something for her, as well. Something she wasn’t expecting, or wanting. Her ex-boyfriend, Kyle, was getting married to the woman he cheated on Stacy with. And one of them had the _nerve_ to invite Stacy to the wedding. Now _that_ was fucking rude.

Since Stacy was late showing up, the guys had a lot of time to grill James on his new relationship. James always found it strange that his friends could read him so well, just by a look on his face, or by his body language. The second he stepped in the door, Aleks just wiggled his eyebrows and started making very vulgar hand motions.

“Get some, Jamesy?”

James just shook his head. “I’m not sure I want to know what you are into sexually. Because those hand motions are just disgusting.”

“Answer the question, _Nova_.” Aleks used his username the way a football coach calls his students out by last name.

Before James could respond, Joe came into the room, took one look at James, and smiled.

“Aye! You and Stacy finally hooked up?” Joe held his hand up, asking for a high-five.

James was still dumbfounded. “H-How…?”

“Honestly, James? I’ve known you for years. You’re asking me how I know?” Joe looked offended. “You just…I dunno…act different? Stand straighter? I dunno, I can just tell.”

Aleks and Joe looked at each other and nodded, as if sharing in this huge secret way to tell that James got laid.

“That, and we know she went to PA with you. You tweeted a picture, fucknut.” Aleks rolled his eyes.

Joe was practically jumping up and down when he asked, “Did she find out your nickname?”

If looks could kill, Joe would be dead on the floor. “Get back to work. Fuck.” James stalked off toward the kitchen while the other two guys started laughing.

When Stacy walked in, a box in one arm, a letter in the other, Joe and Aleks were still laughing. Upon seeing her, the laughter got louder as they climbed the stairs. Confused, Stacy walked toward the kitchen.

“Hey,” She greeted James. “What’s up with Joe and Aleks? I mean, they’re always weird, but they are just…worse.”

James rolled his eyes. “Apparently I, and I quote, look like I got laid.”

“How do you look like you got laid?”

James took the box out of her arm and sat it on the counter. “Fuck if I know.”

“Well,” Stacy stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. “I can take you to the bedroom and let them see what you _actually_ look like when you get laid.”

“Don’t tempt me, woman.” James smiled. “What’s in the box?”

Stacy let go of James and shrugged. “Fan mail, I think.”

“And the letter?”

“An invitation to a wedding.”

“Who’s?” He went to the fridge to get a drink.

“My ex-boyfriend.” At her words, James whipped around, a confused look on his face. “He’s marrying the bitch he cheated on me with.”

“And…and he invited _you_?”

With a laugh, Stacy nodded. “Him or her, not sure who. But, yeah.”

James shook his head at how absurd the situation was. “You gonna go?”

“Go?” Stacy looked shocked. “Why would I go?”

James could only shrug before Trevor yelled down the stairs, wanting Stacy’s help. The conversation was tabled for later.

 

They were all sitting around Applebee’s that night when the wedding was brought back up.

“So…whichever one it was had the fucking nerve to invite you? What dicks.” Trevor said, shaking his head. “That’s low.”

With a mouth full of food, Anna asked, “You gonna go?”

“Why would I?” Stacy shook her head, still not understanding why anyone would want her to go.

Anna just shrugged. “To show yourself off.”

Stacy laughed dryly. “Show what off? I haven’t changed. I grew my hair out, started wearing skinny jeans, and that’s about it.”

“To show they didn’t win.” James stated. “To show they didn’t break you.”

The two were brought back to their conversation in the backyard. _They can bend you, they can hurt you, but they cannot break you._

“You go get all fancy,” Aleks started, waving his fork around and splashing sauce all over Aron. “James can actually dress up for once and show you off. He’ll be your arm candy or whatever. Or you will be his. I don’t fucking know.”

“Dress up for _once_?” James looked affronted. “Asshole.”

It was with a lot of trepidation, but Stacy agreed. She knew Karmen would be excited to play makeover, and even Anna looked excited, but Stacy wasn’t so sure. Her ex, Kyle’s family hated her, thought she was below them. They had often openly discussed her being white trash, which hurt Stacy deeply. Seeing them again wasn’t something she was looking forward to, but at least this time she’d have James beside her, on her side. That was comforting.

 

To get Stacy’s mind off the wedding, which her sister and Anna hadn’t shut up about since the dinner, James took Stacy on a date. Some horror movie Stacy had been dying to see was premiering, and James found himself willing to stand in line for tickets, just for his girl. There they were, thirty-degree weather, huddled together in line while they waited for the theater to let them in. James bitterly thought this movie better be worth it, but changed his tune when he saw the sparkle in Stacy’s eye. She finally looked happy and carefree, instead of worried over a wedding almost a month away.

The theatre began playing music, giving the people outside something to do besides stand there looking stupid. And, with music being Stacy’s favorite thing (besides James), she instantly started singing. Then singing turned to swaying to the music. Eventually, the swaying turned to Stacy grabbing James’ hands and forcing his arms to sway with her. It was hard to be grumpy around the ball of happiness and energy that was Stacy, and he began swaying along, even singing with her. The guy in front of them may have been throwing glares their way, but the two couldn’t be bothered to care, too wrapped up in their own little world.

It wasn’t until Stacy was buried into his chest, slow dancing with him in line, that the theater began letting them inside. They were forced to separate once the line began moving, but once in their seats their hands found a way to link together. And James may have jumped during the movie, but Stacy pretended she didn’t notice. Just to save his ‘manliness.’

 

Stacy was getting ready for work when a text from Karmen came in.

_Um…did you see this?_

There was a link to a Facebook post by a mutual friend of theirs whom Stacy used to work with.

_We had a tragedy at work last night. One of the new interns, Misty, was raped last night. It was that asshole boss of ours, Jason. It wasn’t good enough just feeling us up, he had to go the whole way. This girl is 19! 19! Please send all your love and support to her. That poor girl…_

Stacy had to quit reading, throwing her phone on her bed.

_Jason did it. He actually did it. That could have been me…_


	16. Guilty Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, did I see two chapters on the same night? Holy shit!
> 
> So...I couldn't let that fucking cliffhanger happen. Here's the rest of it. :(

It was snowing out. Visibility was reduced to white, with more white falling from above. Stacy was driving to work with a heavy heart. She just wanted to get to work, hide behind a computer, and forget everything about that morning. The key to her success was hiding from James, who had a knack for reading her like a book. He said it was her eyes that told everything, so if she kept them away from James, she should be okay. Maybe they were recording already and she could sneak upstairs.

When she entered the house, as quietly as she could, her eyes landed on James leaning against the wall, like he was waiting for her. No such luck sneaking in the house today.

“Hey babe.” James smiled, but the smile instantly fell when he took the sight of her in. Stacy knew she looked terrible. She’d been crying all morning, her eyes had to be red and puffy. “Stacy, what’s wrong?”

Stacy just shook her head and tried to skirt past him for the stairs. It didn’t work, he caught her arm before she reached the stairs. The questioning look in his eyes made her feel guilty for running from him, but she wasn’t ready to talk.

“James, please.” She knew if she started talking to him, a fresh crop of tears would fall.

He didn’t let go of her arm, just held her in place. “You won’t let me hide, I’m not letting you. C’mon.”

James pulled her upstairs and into Brett’s room. No one heard them coming up the stairs, so no one would bother them. They sat on the foot of the bed as James held her hand.

“C’mon, Stace. Tell me what’s going on.”

Stacy took a shaky breath. “At my old job…my asshole boss?” James nodded. “He…he…he actually raped a girl.” The tears began falling and James tried his best to wipe them off her face.

“Someone you knew?”

Stacy shook her head. “An intern they hired after I left. The poor girl was only nineteen, James! Nineteen! Her life is ruined, now.”

James let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“You know what? How horrible a person I am? When I heard, the first thought I had was ‘that could have been me.’ How horrible is that? This poor girl’s life is fucking destroyed, and all I could think about was myself.”

“Stac-“

“No, James,” Stacy stood up, pacing in front of him. “I’m a horrible, horrible fucking person! What is wrong with me? That poor girl. Fuck!” James tried to interrupt, but Stacy kept rambling on.

Finally, James had enough. He stood up and cut off her pacing, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. “Stacy, you are _not_ a horrible person. You were so close to that happening to you. When I first met you, you were terrified. Remember? You broke down on me in your car on the curb. I’ve never seen anyone look that broken, and it was terrible.”

Her tears flowed harder as she wrapped her arms around James’ middle and dug her nails into his shirt.

“I was so scared that day.” She was talking into his shirt and James barely heard her. “You helped me.”

James smiled into her hair. “Then let me help you, now. I know how amazing you are, how sweet and caring you are. This is a terrible situation, and I’m sorry for that girl. I hope this asshole goes to jail. I hope when he gets there some huge guy makes him his bitch.”

Stacy gave a sad laugh. “I hope so, too.”

She remained in a sad funk for the rest of the day. The guys all tried to cheer her up, but it just wasn’t working. No one was used to seeing Stacy in any sort of a sad state, she was always happy and smiling. After a while, they stopped bothering her, just letting her sit behind the computer with her hoodie pulled around her like a cocoon.

When the work day was over, James informed Stacy she was coming home with him. She tried to argue, but James plainly said ‘you are not moping around all alone’ and took her by the wrist, pulling her to his car. Stacy sighed, but got in the passenger’s seat, letting Aron pull her car into the garage. Ein curled up on her lap and she stroked her fingers through her fur.

James’ house always looked like no one lived there. He really didn’t have anything on his walls, or anything sitting around. The most used room was his office, and it was cluttered with fan mail items and a bookcase full of video games. You would imagine a bachelor’s bedroom would be messy, but James didn’t have enough stuff in his room for it to be messy. A small hanging shelf with some DVD’s and a TV hung on his wall, and a couple dressers, that’s it. Of course, the occasional clothing item lying about, but that’s normal for a man.

Stacy just walked in the door and plopped down on the couch. She hated feeling like this, but she couldn’t shake her initial thoughts as a terrible thing. Of course, she worried about the girl, and of course she wished only the worst for that bastard Jason. It was the first thought of ‘it could have been me’ that cycled through her mind. It sounded terrible, and Stacy hated herself for thinking it. She helped Ein into the couch and held her like a pillow, pulling her close to her chest. James stood in the entrance to the living room watching. This wasn’t his Stacy, and he hated watching her like that. But what could he do?

When James sat down beside her, Stacy laid her head on his lap, taking Ein down with her. James turned Netflix on and, with a smirk, found The Notebook. As soon as it started, Stacy looked up over her head at him.

“Really?”

James smiled down at her. “Well, ya know.”

Two hours later, when the credits began to roll, they were sleeping. Ein woke them up by whining to go out. Stacy, feeling a little better, grabbed her leash and offered to walk her. James let her go, just happy to see her get out for a second. The weather was getting worse, the snow getting heavier, when Stacy came back in. Both her and Ein were covered in a sheet of white flakes, which Ein shook off right inside the door.

“I hate snow.” Stacy kicked her boots off and hung her coat up. James handed her a cup of hot chocolate, which she took in both her hands to warm them up. “Thanks.”

“Your nose is red.” James poked her on the tip of her nose. “Cute.”

After Stacy finished her cocoa and took the cup to the sink, James led her up the stairs to the bedroom.

“Cuddle time.” James said, throwing Stacy a shirt that he knew would be too big for her. One thing James loved was seeing Stacy walk around in his shirts. Once changed for bed, James and Stacy snuggled together under the blanket, her head on his chest.

Stacy sleepily looked up at James. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you.” She yawned. “I know I was difficult today, but you did make it better. You always make me feel better.”

As far as compliments go, that one made James all warm inside. “Anytime, babe. Anytime.”

 

The two woke up to three feet of snow and an angry Aleks calling.

_“Snow fucking sucks.”_

“Yeah, man. We just staying home today?” James was walking through his kitchen, watching as Stacy poured them both cereal.

_“Yeah. I think we deserve a break. I mean, I do all the fucking work, but whatever.”_

James snorted. “You call what you do work? Sitting on your ass playing on your phone is work? Go fuck yourself.”

_“Maybe I’ll let you do it later.”_

“Aleks, I’m hanging up. You tell everyone else, since you do all the fucking work.”

He heard Aleks laughing as he hung up. Stacy turned around and raised an eyebrow, James just shook his head.

“Aleks being a dick?”

James snorted again. “Isn’t he always?”

As they sat at James’ small kitchen table, which Stacy thought maybe came with the house, she noticed him watching her out of the corner of his eye. She knew he was worried about her, wondering if her mood from the day before was still lingering. The thoughts were still cycling though her mind, but Stacy wanted to do _something_. Something that would help that poor girl.

But no matter how hard she tried, nothing came to mind that would actually help. No amount of words, or sympathy, or praying to whatever Gods were out there, was going to make that poor girls pain go away. All Stacy could do was hope beyond hope Jason got what was coming to him. And that James was right: some huge guy at jail would make Jason feel the pain he inflicted on Misty.

 

The rest of the day was as lazy as the two could make it. Netflix, hot cocoa, and popcorn while being blanket burritos was the agenda of the day. By nightfall, Stacy was feeling a thousand times better, and was even owning James at Mario. Then James heard her laugh, open and free, and his heart jumped. She was slowly getting back to normal, one step at a time. A day off work, with no recording or editing for his own channel, was worth it just to see Stacy’s bright smile.

 


	17. Out In the Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to credit my co-author, Popcorn the annoying fucking cat, who keeps pushing keys so I have to edit random letters out of my story. 
> 
> If you see any more, let me know. Fucking animals! 
> 
> Oh, and I need to stop swearing so much. James has ruined me. In all the best ways. ;)
> 
> AND exactly 1400 words, according to Word. How I did that, I have no idea. XD

James was standing in the Cow Chop kitchen, eyes closed and mouth open. It was Friday and Stacy promised them a special home cooked meal. He was promised a taste test, which is why he found himself in such a vulnerable position. Good thing he trusted her.

Which turned out to be a bad idea.

He heard her giggle a split second before a warm sensation hit his face. When he opened his eyes, and touched his fingers to his face, he felt something sticky. He pulled his hand back where he could see it. A white, sticky goo was sliding down his fingers.

Stacy could barely breathe with how hard she was laughing. “I came on you!”

“Do I want to know what this actually is?” James asked, scooping more of it off his face with his fingers.

“Gravy base.” She was starting to calm down, her eyes brimming with tears by how hard she was laughing. James shook his head and flicked the mixture at her face. She let out a squeal before bursting out laughing again.

Shaking his head, James breathed out a laugh. “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m _your_ idiot.” She winked.

 

James and Aleks were recording when his phone started vibrating non-stop. He ignored it for a while, but it was vibrating so much even Aleks heard it.

“What’s going on?”

James just shrugged, pulling his phone out. There were tons of Twitter notifications, all of them pointing to a tweet. “Fucking Twitter,” he muttered, opening the app.

_@uberhaxornova Was this a date?_

After the tweet was a video of James and Stacy’s date at the movie theater. They were dancing to the music, laughing and smiling. Then an abrupt cut and they were slow dancing. The retweets and replies were numerous. From _my OTP!!!!_ to _he didn’t learn not to date where you work?_ James felt his heart clench. What if Stacy wasn’t ready for this? It hasn’t been that long, were they ready? They never even talked about this.

Aleks brought him out of head by tossing the pillow at him. “What’s wrong?” As an answer, James just handed him the phone. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” James sat back, running his hands over his hair. “Now what?”

“What do you mean, ‘now what’? Either ignore it until you two are ready, or tell them.” Aleks said, looking at James strangely. “Why is that so difficult?”

James just looked at him. “I don’t really have a good track record with this shit, Aleks.”

“Stacy’s not the other girls, James. She’s not gonna fuck off the first chance she gets.”

James nodded, he knew Stacy wasn’t any of those other girls, but it still made him feel ice in his heart. _What if?_

James probably wouldn’t have told her, if she didn’t come downstairs to show him. Stacy didn’t seem worried, just laughing at how stupid she looked dancing around on camera. James offered up the idea to not comment on it, just let the rumor simmer until they wanted to come out. He hated keeping it quiet, like a dirty secret, but he wanted to prepare her for the onslaught of comments and tweets she would receive. No matter how self-assured she acted, things still could get to her.

 

A couple days later, James decided to stream. He hadn’t done it in a while, since Stacy started spending more and more time at his house, and they had better things to do when alone together. But she went shopping with her sister, so James had some free time.

As the stream got started, the comments started pouring in:

_So…are you and Stacy dating?_

_Gonna talk about Stacy?_

_Is Stacy good in bed?_

_She your rebound, James?_

_C’mon, James! Dating Stacy?  
_

If the stream was having an issue, or the volume wasn’t loud enough, James couldn’t tell. He couldn’t see anything else but these comments on his love life. Finally, getting frustrated enough, James threw his controller down.

“Okay, okay, the chat needs to shut up.” He scrubbed his hands across his face and sighed. “Since, apparently, we’re not gonna get anywhere like this, let’s talk.” He took a second to realize the chat had gone almost silent. “Yes, me and Stacy are dating. And, before you go off the deep end, let me clarify. She is _not_ my rebound. This is serious, very serious. She’s…she’s amazing. Smart, funny, beautiful, clumsy as fuck. And she tells the worst jokes with a habit of ruining the punchline. And, fuck, you need to hear her sing. Fucking amazing.” His eyes stared off somewhere, lost in his thoughts of her. “She makes me happy. Really happy.” Realizing he was staring off, he shook his head and focused back on the camera. “I really lo-“ He stopped, his eyes widening. “I never said it out loud…but I do. I love her.”

From across town, Stacy sat cross-legged on her bed, her laptop in front of her. James’ stream was open, and her eyes were misty with everything he was saying about her. The way he was staring off, a smile pulling at his lips, she was mystified.

Then he said it. _I love her._ It was like a shot to the heart. Without thinking, she leaped out of bed and threw her shoes on. Pajamas and all, she jumped in her car and took off toward James’ house. He’d given her a key a while ago, just in case, and she may have abused her privilege and let herself in. Taking the stairs two at a time, she threw his office door open. James jumped, not expecting someone to be in his house, let alone come bursting into his office.

“Jesus Christ, Stacy. You scared the shit – “ His words were cut off by her face coming inches from his.

“I love you, too.” She breathed out against his lips before pressing theirs together.

There was a long pause, then the chat went wild. When the two separated, James smile was as bright as hers.

“Wanna join the stream?” He asked, breathless. Stacy nodded and pulled over James’ old computer chair. Once she got settled, James plugged in an extra set of headphones and slid the chat window over to his second monitor. “You man the chat, I’ll man the game. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Within a few minutes, the fans discovered Stacy was very accommodating to them. And, she was as big a fangirl as they were. One fan asked for James to let his hair down, which Stacy happily obliged. Reaching over behind him, she pulled his hair tie free, letting James’ hair cascade down.

With a wink to the camera, Stacy held her thumbs up. “Your wish is granted, my chickie.”

James shook his head, but ignored her in favor of _not_ dying to Dark Souls 3 again. He was happy that, for the most part, the fans were being nice to her. Of course, there were a few fans who told her to get lost (not nearly using that nice of language) or said her only purpose was to take her shirt off. Stacy did a great job of ignoring them in favor of the nicer ones. She was answering their questions, and making James blush at some of the comments she’d read out loud.

Once James was tired, and he ended the stream, he turned to Stacy. “We didn’t talk about this beforehand, and I’m sorry I just sprung it on you like that.”

“It’s fine, Jamie. I’m happy!” She threw her arms around him, practically crawling in his lap. “You didn’t just tell _me_ you loved me, you told the whole fucking world. That was so fucking romantic, you have no idea.” James laughed as he caught her, wondering for a second if his chair was going to topple over backward.

“I can’t believe you drove yourself over here.”

She just shrugged. “Well, ya know. Oh, oh, I’m sorry I let myself in and scaring you. I kind of abused my key holding privilege.”  

“You’re right. I should punish you.” James winked.

Stacy stood up, pulling James with her by the hand. “Hmm…tempting…” She pulled her shirt off, throwing it at his head before disappearing out the door. It took James exactly half a second to be up off the chair and out his office door, chasing her to the bedroom.

_God, I love this woman…_


	18. "I Fucking Love You"

It always seems like, when things are going great, something must go wrong. All James wanted was to take his girlfriend and his best friend out to lunch. The channel was nearing five hundred thousand subscribers and James wanted to celebrate with the two most important people in his life.

There was an upscale tavern-style restaurant sitting on a brewery that James had always wanted to go to. What better time to splurge a little then when you’re celebrating? The food smelled amazing, the beer was perfect, and the company kept him smiling and laughing.

James’ phone was dying, so he left Aleks and Stacy to finish paying (and so Stacy could buy some beef jerky she had been eyeing the whole time) and trekked through the parking lot to his car. He was halfway there when he heard someone say his name. James turned around and froze in his spot.

Jordan.

That same red hat, same facial hair, but a different look in his eye. He almost looked sad, James noticed. He just wasn’t sure if he cared as much as he used to, or not.

“James, I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Half facing him, half not, James rolled his eyes. “There’s a reason for that.”

There was a pregnant pause before Jordan spoke again. “I’m sorry. For everything that happened, I’m sorry.”

“Jordan, don’t.” He shook his head, fully facing the man. “What happened is done. We’ve all moved on.”

Jordan pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t want us to end like this. We have been through so much together.”

“And I thought I could trust you.” James felt the anger and hurt boiling up inside, but he tried to calm it down. This wasn’t the time, or the place. Shaking his head, James muttered, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

He heard some footsteps behind him and relief rushed over him. He won’t be alone in this, now. He could feel Aleks and Stacy each taking a side of him.

“Hello, Jordan.” Aleks’ voice was clipped, but Jordan chose to ignore it.

“Hey, Aleks.” He glanced over at Stacy, eyebrows briefly shooting up. “Stacy. I guess I know why you haven’t been returning my calls.”

With a dry laugh, Stacy answered, “I didn’t return them because I’m not interested in working with you guys anymore.”

“And because you’re fucking James now.” Stefani said, walking up behind Jordan.

“Ah, Stefani. As tactful as ever, I see.” Stacy reached out and grabbed James’ hand.

The girls quieted down as the guys talked, Jordan trying to compliment the guys on their channel. After a few minutes, Jordan complimented James on his weight loss. Stacy felt his muscles tighten with pride. He’s worked hard for what he’s accomplished, and Stacy couldn’t be prouder of her boyfriend.

“Nice to see him staying away from the buffet long enough.” Stefani whispered. It was loud enough that James’ pride deflated in a second. After everything she put him through, her latest dive against all his hard work, tears and sweat made Stacy’s blood boil.

She didn’t think, just acted, as she stepped forward and grabbed Stefani by the front of her shirt. “If I ever, _ever_ hear you talk to him like that again, you will not have your fucking teeth. You don’t have the _right_ to speak to him _ever_ again.” With her eyes wide, Stefani tried to step back. Stacy just gripped the shirt tighter, not letting her leave. “It’s _your_ fault you couldn’t see what an amazing man he is. There is not, and has never been, anything wrong with James. I swear to whatever fucking power there is, if I ever hear that you even _thought_ something bad about him, I’ll make it so you can’t breathe without a tube down your fucking throat. Do you understand me, Stefani? Cause you will _not_ get another warning.”

The terror in Stefani’s eyes as she fiercely nodded ‘yes’ made Stacy smile wryly. She let go of her, but her eyes were still trained on Stefani as she grabbed James’ hand.

“C’mon, baby. They’re not worth your time.” Stacy said, sweetly, as she pulled James toward the car. Aleks, laughing quietly, followed behind them.

James vaguely heard Stefani yelling at Jordan for not protecting her, but blocked it out for the amazing woman in front of him. Once at the car, James turned her around and kissed her deeply.

“I fucking love you.”

The smile he got in return was brighter than the sun. “I fucking love you, too.”

Groaning, Aleks opened the car door. “Yeah, yeah, we all love each other and we will fuck later, can we get in the car, please?”

In his head, James began planning a way to thank Stacy for what she did. It would have to wait until later, though, when they were home _alone_. He smirked to himself as he began backing out of his parking spot. If he could put that sexy sheen of sweat over her body and get her writhing…yeah, that train of thought needed to be paused. Until later, anyway.

 

Waking up with the person you love in your arms was the best feeling in the world. It didn’t matter that Stacy’s wild morning hair was practically up his nose, or that he was uncomfortably warm from her body heat pressed against him. It was still amazing. Using his free arm, the one _not_ numb from being used as a pillow all night, he brushed her hair out of his nostrils and worked at freeing his limp arm from underneath her. She groaned as he wiggled his arm free, but the instant rush of blood through the arm was practically orgasmic. James rolled on his back and massaged the numb arm, bringing life back to it along with the pins and needles. He felt Stacy roll over and watch him aggressively rub his arm until the needles began subsiding.

“I hope you don’t jack off like that.” Her voice hoarse from sleep.

James snickered. “I’m very gentle with my dick. I light candles, sing to it, the whole nine yards.”

Stacy just laughed, sitting up on her knees. “You won’t sing for me, but you’ll sing for your dick? I’m hurt.”

With feeling returned fully to his arm, James sat up and pulled her in for a kiss. “Wanna go for breakfast?”

“Wanna quit changing the subject, asshole? I’m still waiting for _your_ side of the bet to be completed.”

She crawled off the bed, digging through the basket of clothes on his floor. Spending so much time at each other’s houses led to them leaving clothes there. And James was nice enough to keep all of her clothes in a basket in his bedroom.

James realized Stacy was right. He’d been putting it off, not wanting to sing in public. But he was nervous about it and would continue to put it off if he could.

Breakfast consisted of a trip to Ihop, which wound up being crashed by Karmen and Anna, who had become pretty close friends. As the two girls sat down opposite James and Stacy, they had brought up the upcoming wedding.

“Let’s go dress shopping. I mean, it’s a couple weeks away, but never too soon to start looking.” Karmen said.

“Can’t we wait until closer time, or never?” Stacy still wasn’t sure she wanted to go. The idea of being in front of Kyle’s parents again made her insides twist up with nerves.

“Um, no, we can’t.” Anna said, flicking a piece of straw paper at Stacy. “You need to start looking so we can get an idea of what you like. Then we can tailor to your taste.”

“My taste is ‘I don’t like wearing dresses’ so you can tailor to that.” Stacy sassed, getting a glare from Karmen.

“Don’t be a bitch about this, sis. We are doing this to shove it in Kyle’s face. To show him he didn’t win, you aren’t alone and lonely and pathetic. You moved on, he didn’t win, and that cunt didn’t win.”

James smiled and squeezed Stacy’s hand. “ _I_ want to see you all dressed up, if that counts for anything.”

Stacy rolled her eyes, but did end up going with the girls. James decided to go home and record something before work began for the day.

While the video he had just finished recording imported to his editing software, James checked some of the comments from his last video. A lot of people commented on the fact that he sang in that video, and a few commended his voice. But there were a few who caught his eye, reminding him he still hadn’t lived up to his end of the bet. With a heavy sigh, James realized he couldn’t keep putting it off like he wanted to. No matter how hard he tried, no one was forgetting about it.

“Fuck me.” James said, leaning back in his chair. “Why did I agree to that bet again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Stefani out to be a horrible person. I'm sure she's nice and all, but I used her as a villain. 
> 
> And...I wish I had the ability to write smut. Where can I go to learn that? Whose talent can I tap into for that knowledge?


	19. And...We're Off

Anna and Karmen had dragged Stacy through every dress store in Denver, leaving Stacy with an extreme urge to break the girls’ legs so they could just _go home_. Her head ached, her feet ached, and she was so tired of hearing the phrase “nah, it just doesn’t look very _you_.” That phrase made no sense to her the first time she heard it, and every time Karmen and Anna said it, Stacy died a little bit inside.

After two hours of dress shopping, Stacy tried to find a way out of it. She was tired of playing dress up doll and tried texting her mother. The response was: _Don’t be difficult. The girls are trying to help._ Her grandmother’s response: _Stop being a bitch. Get a fucking dress._ And her loving boyfriend responded: _Send nudes from the dressing room._ And, with that, she was resigned to her fate.

Karmen Googled a dress store hidden behind a strip mall. More specifically, it was directly behind a Krispy Kreme, which Stacy decided was being stopped at directly after this dress store. Unlike the previous stores, this lady was nice enough and wasn’t hovering over them constantly.

There was a peach colored dress in the window that caught Karmen’s eye. She asked the woman for it in Stacy’s size, which was stated way too often for Stacy’s liking. Anna pulled several others off the shelf while the woman went into the back to look. Stacy, who was annoyed at the amount of dresses in her arms, stomped into the dressing room to begin trying them on. There were a few she began putting on and realized they were not going to fit, throwing them back out the door to whichever girl was standing there. The couple that were left were met with disapproval and Stacy immediately changed out of. Even the peach one the poor lady dug in the back for wasn’t meant for Stacy, apparently.

While the other two girls were flicking through the dresses on the racks, Stacy was wondering through the store looking at the expensive dresses being shown off on the mannequins. She eyed the prom dresses and the ball gowns, realizing she missed out on shopping like this as a teenager. She chose not to go to prom, and now regretted it. Karmen went, but Karmen never had a problem finding a boyfriend. Stacy, however, wasn’t so lucky. She was always a little heavier, _curvy_ as her mother called it. Not the fragile size six her sister was, and that she was always jealous of. Stacy was always one of the boys, and that made it so the guy never looked at her as a woman, as someone to be attracted to. That, or they just weren’t interested in a girl who wasn’t America’s depiction of beauty.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Anna tapping her on the shoulder.

“Hey…you okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking.” Stacy mentally shook herself and turned to face her. “I’m fine…just waiting for you two to throw more expensive dresses at me.”

Anna didn’t look convinced, but dropped the subject. Turning back to the rack, Anna began pulling out dresses, wrinkling her nose, and hanging it back up. Stacy shook her head and continued looking at the mannequins until her phone buzzed in her pocket.

_Still waiting for my nudes._

Stacy laughed and rolled her eyes. Leave it to James to make her smile when she didn’t think she could. He didn’t wait for a response before sending another message: _Any luck yet?_

_Nope._ She text back with an eyeroll emoji. _I hate this._

_I know. But you’re going to look sexy as duck I bet._  
_Fuck. I meant fuck._  
_Autocorrect sucks._

Stacy just giggled at his three simultaneous messages. _I love you._

_So…the nudes?_

_No. Just no._

Karmen came over with a black dress in her hand, thrusting it at Stacy. “Go, go. Try this on!” She pushed Stacy toward the dressing room, her face the picture of excitement.

Slipping it on in the dressing room, she feared it wouldn’t fit. The dress came above her knee, the skirt part black and full. There was a silver patterned belt around her middle that sparkled in the fluorescent lighting above her head. The bodice was skin toned with a black design dancing over it. The top latched around her neck in a high collar, the back of the dress wide open. It surprised Stacy how well it fit, and how much the dress showed off her curves while hiding the wide hips she hated so much. She felt sexy in it, but was still hesitant to show it off. This was the first dress she actually liked, but was afraid of what the other girls would say about it.

Karmen was knocking on the door, urging her to come out. Stacy finally cracked the door open and padded out on her bare feet. Both girls’ mouths fell open.

“You look beautiful.” Anna said with a wide smile.

“Fuck me, Stace! This is it. This is _the_ dress!” Karmen exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in triumph.

Besides the sticker shock Stacy got at the price tag, the dress was bought and zipped up in a bag. The wedding was still a week away, but Stacy had her dress…and sadly some high heel shoes to accompany it.

 

A week later, James and Stacy were on their almost four-hour drive to Aspen. Karmen had set up an appointment for Stacy to get her hair done, and James had an appointment to get fitted in a tux. Stacy’s dress hung in the trunk of James’ SUV, which James wasn’t allowed to see, via Karmen’s express instructions. The invitation, which was required for entrance into the church, was setting in the center console, just staring at Stacy with its off-white envelope. Her nerves were getting the better of her, causing Stacy to bite her nails. James noticed her nerves, and grabbed her hand, pulling it away from her mouth.

“We’ve got this.” He smiled, trying to be reassuring. Managing to pull a small smile from her, James linked his fingers with hers. He barely let go until they pulled up in front of her stop.

The stylist was apparently going to do her hair and let her get dressed in the tanning room. James’ stop was just down the road, so they wouldn’t be separated long. He pressed a kiss to her lips before watching her get out of the car and grab her dress and shoes.

Two hours later, James walked out of the tux rental with the most flattering suit he’d ever worn. The tailor sold James on a black and white theme. A crisp white shirt, black tie, and black pants that were tailored to his body. The jacket was the first tailored jacket he’d ever worn, not just one off a shelf. It was taken in along the sides to show off his frame. His new body looked better in a suit then he could have imagined and he kept running his hands over the expensive material as he walked to the car. He’d never felt this good in a suit before, and decided to buy it on an impulse.

It was a short drive to where Stacy was and he was more than excited to see the dress Karmen was so ecstatic about. He walked in the door of the salon and was instantly greeted by a bright smile from the lady at the front register.

“Oh, you’re here for Stacy, right?” She was a little too chipper, but James just smiled and nodded. “Wait until you see her. She doesn’t even look like the same girl!” She turned around and hollered at a Samantha.

“What’s up?” A girl who must have been Samantha came out of a back room.

“Stacy’s man is here, looking quite dapper in a suit, I might add.” She winked at him before turning back to Samantha.

“She’s ready. I can’t wait for you to see her.” The girl, young with platinum blonde hair, opened the door and motioned toward someone.

Then, he watched as a woman stepped out of the shadow of the room. No, not just any woman. That was Stacy. Her hair was pulled up into a high messy bun, tendrils of curled hair framing her face. She had makeup on for the first time he’s ever seen, the salon giving her the smoky eye look that made her green eyes shine brighter. But the dress. It hugged every curve she had in the best way, making her look like a goddess. James could barely breathe, his air caught in his throat as his jaw hit the floor.

“You are fucking gorgeous.” James breathed out, looking up and down her body.

“My God, James. Did you look at yourself?” Stacy walked over to him as James began walking toward him. They met at the center of the salon, both reaching out to each other.

James took her hand and twirled her around, making her full skirt swish around her. He smiled, watching Stacy giggle before coming to a stop. “Remind me to thank Karmen and Anna.”

“Remind me to thank Kyle for giving me a reason to dress your ass up. Damn.”

Before leaving, Samantha made him sit in a chair while she redid his man bun. The girl explained it made James look more polished as she used gel to keep his hair tamed. He joked his hair couldn’t be tamed, but she sent him out the door with a jar of the gel and a promise it would work.

As James helped Stacy in the car, she sighed heavily. “Now to the shit show.”

“Now to show that bastard exactly what he’s missing, and what he can’t have ever again.”

Stacy smiled and pulled him in for a kiss.

 

 

The dress: 

http://www.marieprom.co.uk/images/product/2015-classy-short-black-tailor-made-cocktail-prom-dress-lfnbf0019--9330-6.jpg

http://www.marieprom.co.uk/images/product/2015-classy-short-black-tailor-made-cocktail-prom-dress-lfnbf0019--9331-6.jpg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually Google Map'ed the fucking time between Littleton and Aspen. AND Googled dresses. AND Googled wedding venues in Aspen.  
> Either I am really prepared, or I'm stalking, I'm not sure. 
> 
> Anyway, the wedding itself will be the next chapter. Yayz!


	20. The Wedding

Of everything Stacy had told James about her ex, she never mentioned his family was fucking rich. The church was huge, like an old cathedral you only see in the movies. James just imagined Quasimodo hanging from the bell tower chatting with the talking gargoyles. The place even had a valet, for fucks sake. What church had a valet? The driveway to the church was lined with white and red roses hanging on tacky short columns. Stacy muttered _pathetic_ under her breath as she eyed the decor. Once the valet had the car, and Stacy made sure she had the invitation in her hand, they walked slowly toward the church. Even the pathway was lined with the tacky columns and roses with deep red bows tied around the middle of the columns. There was a man at the door, who looked suspiciously like a club bouncer, checking the invitations. His voice was gruff as he invited them in.

The inside of the church was decorated just as tacky as the outside, with cliché decorations and even tissue paper flowers on the pews. He watched as Stacy’s nose wrinkled up in disgust and snickered.

“If I ever get married, and someone puts these decorations up, just shoot me.” Stacy grabbed his hand as she talked, linking their fingers together. “Promise me.”

“I promise.” James said with a laugh.

A young man came up to them, asking whose side they would like to sit on: bride or groom. Stacy let out a dry laugh.

“Groom, I guess?”

Before they could even slide into the pew, an older man came stomping up to Stacy.

“What are you doing here?” The man said, trying to keep his voice down and glancing around them nervously. “How did you get in?”

“I have an invitation.” Stacy held up said invite, to which the man’s eyes narrowed.

“Who invited you?”

Stacy shrugged. “Not sure, but it says open bar, so I was excited.”

The sarcasm was dripping from her voice and the man glared at her. “I don’t know why you thought to show up, but you shouldn’t have wasted your time.” He stomped back off and Stacy sighed.

“That’s Rick, Kyle’s father.” She explained.

James shook his head. “Isn’t he fucking charming.” The woman beside them let out a shocked gasp at his language, but James ignored her. “God will understand if you want me to beat the shit out of him.”

Stacy laughed. “Nah, he’s not worth the jail time.”

The woman next to them pushed her way past them and rushed to another pew, mumbling about sitting next to heathens. James laughed as he sat down, taking up as much room as he could.

“Let that cunt come back now.”

“Jesus, James! We’re in a _church_.” Stacy scolded him, half-heartedly.

James looked at her incrediously. “You just used the Lord’s name in vain, and you’re yelling at me?”

“Point taken.”

As the time waned on, James watched as Stacy began slowly ripping the tissue paper flower in front of her apart. He wasn’t sure if it was a big _fuck you_ to them, or nerves. Either way, he took her hand and squeezed it.

“We’ve got this.”

She nodded, laying her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, we got this.”

Finally, the groomsman began taking their places, the Father took his place, and the wedding march began. As soon as the bride came into view, James snorted. Her wedding dress began to poof from under her breasts, and it was a full poof. James snickered as she walked past them.

“She looks like a fucking cupcake!” He did whisper it, but Stacy was pretty sure the woman heard him if the slight cock to her head was anything to go on. It was difficult to hide how hard she was actually laughing with his brilliant view on that dress.

As they calmed down, and the wedding began, James pulled out his phone. Stacy eyed him questioningly as he then pulled out his earbuds. Handing one to her, and sliding the other in his ear, he started playing Iron Man on his phone. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her close so they both could see. Stacy smiled and kissed his cheek before laying her head on his shoulder and watched Robert Downy, Jr. be amazing.

When people started clapping, James and Stacy looked up to see the bride and groom share their kiss and turn toward the crowd. James put his phone away and sighed. Well, at least the boring part was over. As they marched down the aisle toward the open door, the groom, Kyle, saw Stacy. His eyes widened as he saw her, his head stayed focused on Stacy’s eyes as he walked with his wife. When his neck wouldn’t turn anymore, he was forced to look ahead.

“So, that’s Kyle?” James asked, putting his lips to her ear. “Looks like a douche.”

Stacy laughed. “You’re not wrong.”

They both skirted around shaking hands with the bridal party, instead getting the car and waiting for the cars to line up. They were all going to the reception in a line, which Stacy joked sounded more like a funeral procession. It wasn’t a long ride to the Sky Hotel, where the reception was. The hotel was usually used as a ski lodge and gave an amazing view of the snowcapped mountains. As soon as they entered the room, Stacy practically sprinted toward the floor-to-ceiling glass panes. The view was breathtaking. James wrapped his arms around her middle and rested his chin on top of her head.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.” Stacy squeezed his hands.

They stayed like that until a waitress asked them to find a seat. The bridal party was slowly filing in, being introduced as they came through the door. Stacy and James took a seat in the back and only half payed attention to the people.

Stacy only knew a few of them, most of the girls being the bride, Brittany’s, friends. She recognized Kyle’s brother, Alan, and his best friend, Brad. That’s about it, though. Brittany picked hot pink dresses for her bridesmaids, all strapless and very short. Nothing about this wedding was _good_.

After the food was served, which James noticed was those expensive meals that barely had anything on your plate, the bridal dance was began. As soon as the song started, Stacy rolled her eyes and groaned. It was the most cliché, sappy wedding song anyone could pick.

“No originality.” Stacy said, leaning back in her chair. “I Honestly Love You? Are you serious?”

“What would you pick?” James asked.

Stacy shrugged. “Never thought about it. Never thought I’d find a guy who could put up with me for life.”

“You are not nearly as difficult to deal with as you think.” James stated, making Stacy look at him. A smile was tugging at his lips as he felt her eyes on him.

The song ended and the bridal party walked on the dance floor, dancing to a song James had never heard. Once that song ended, which sounded more like someone dropped a bunch of instruments and made a song out of it, James offered to get drinks for them. The moment he walked away, Stacy felt someone put a hand on her shoulder.

“I haven’t seen you in so long.” Stacy turned around to see Kyle standing behind her. He sat down on James’ seat, a smile on his face. “You look amazing. I haven’t seen you dressed up like that in so long.”

“There’s a reason you haven’t seen me, Kyle.” Stacy tried to keep the venom out of her voice, but she wasn’t sure it worked.

For Kyle’s part, he looked ashamed. “I regret that. I regret all of it.” He attempted to take Stacy’s hand, but she pulled her hands away. “Stacy…please…”

She was saved from Kyle by James. She thanked whatever higher power there was for her man, who always had a knack for saving her.

“Congratulations on your wedding.” James said, his voice overly chipper.

He was confused, but Kyle smiled anyway. “Yes, thank you. And you are?” He extended his hand, and James put a drink down to shake it.

“James. I’m Stacy’s boyfriend.”

Kyle’s eyes snapped to Stacy’s, who just smiled brightly.

“O-Oh, I see. Well, I should have known a woman like you wouldn’t stay single long.” Kyle gave a dry laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I better get back to my wife. It was great to see you, Stacy.” Then, as he took slow steps backward, “And to meet you, James.”

With Kyle turning on his heels, Stacy breathed out a sigh of relief. “You’re my fucking lifesaver.”

James laughed and sat down next to her. “What did he want?”

“I’m not sure. He apologized, told me I looked good…I don’t know.”

James snorted. “He want you to be his side chick?”

Stacy rolled her eyes. “In his dreams.”

James realized, two hours later, that the bride had been shooting daggers at Stacy the whole night. Whether Stacy noticed or not, James wasn’t sure. They had been laughing at the other people, the ones who thought they were better than everyone else. They _may_ have been making a small scene, but neither one cared. He had Stacy laughing, making people stare.

In a high-pitched voice, James gave a stuck-up woman who wouldn’t quit staring at them some dialogue. “Oh, look at me! I’m a rich whore who probably fucked her way into a rich marriage.”

Stacy was hugging her stomach, laughing.

Once Stacy calmed down, they noticed the DJ announced it was couple’s dance. As a slow song started, James grabbed Stacy’s hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. He won’t admit it, but he loved dancing with her on New Year’s, and wanted another opportunity to have her in his arms like that.

Two songs later, James was tapped on the shoulder by Kyle. “Can I steal your girl for a minute?” James looked at Stacy, who just shook her head. James didn’t go far, just to the edge of the dance floor where he could watch. “He’s very protective of you.”

“He loves me.” Stacy answered simply, a smile playing on her lips.

Kyle was quiet for a second before responding. “I think about you a lot. You were so much fun, so full of life. I…I really am sorry about what I did.”

“You fucked Brittany, in my apartment, _in my bed_.” Stacy did not keep her voice down, making the other couples stop and stare. “It’s not _my_ fault you’re not happy now, or that your _daddy_ made you marry her.” At this point, the two stopped dancing. James was slowly edging toward them, coming in for the rescue. “You don’t get to be _sorry_ , Kyle. I’m finally happy. I’m finally free. I will _stay_ this way, _without_ you.”

Stacy pushed away from him, grabbing James’ hand and pulling him toward the bar. James pulled her to a stop, turning her face toward him. She wasn’t crying, like he feared. Honestly, she looked like she’d gotten something heavy off her chest and was reveling in the relief.

“Feel better?”

She laughed. “I should have slapped him. Why didn’t I slap him?”

“Because you are better than him.” James smiled, pulling her in for a kiss.

“I cannot believe you!” A shrill voice came from behind them. “First you try, and _fail_ , to trap my son, and now you come to ruin his wedding!”

Kyle’s dad was right behind the woman, who James realized was Kyle’s mother. Both of their faces were red with anger. “I knew you were no good the moment he met you. No good white trash, I told him you would amount to _nothing._ ”

James stepped forward, coming between Stacy and Kyle’s parents’ wrath.

“Shut the _fuck_ up!” James roared. “Just because your son couldn’t keep his dick out of every slut he met does _not_ give you the right to talk to her like that. This woman is amazing. She is fucking perfect, and if you can’t see that, then you’re fucking blind. How your son could fuck up a relationship with this beautiful woman is beyond me. But I see it. I see how amazing she is, how smart and funny she is. So, you two can go enjoy your fucking cupcake-in-law. I’m sure she’ll be an amazing girl to flat back for whatever you need her to.”

James grabbed Stacy’s hand and pulled her out the front door. As they made their way to the valet, Stacy was quiet. The words he said were cycling through her mind. No one had ever talked about her like that, ever.

First, James told the world he loved her on his stream, and now this. She won the lottery when she met James. And she would spend the rest of the time he was with her making him see how much she loved him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna work in the whole moving to LA situation, which I haven't touched at all, I realized. I want to keep it canon and not canon at the same time. 
> 
> Wow, did that sentence not make sense...go me.


	21. Never Too Old To Learn

_“So, what are you two lovebirds doing for Valentine’s Day?”_

James had his iPad propped up on the kitchen counter, attempting to cook for an “at home date.” His mom was walking him through this via video chat. Dina had already saved him from cutting his fingers twice, and from burning himself.

“Nothing.” James was only half listening. He was more focused on why his knife was not cutting this chicken the way he wanted.

 _“You two have to be doing something. Honey, hold your knife straight. Cut from your wrist, not your fingers.”_ She was miming what she wanted James to do as she spoke.

James adjusted his hold on the knife and tried again. “Why is this shit so difficult?”

 _“It’s not, Jamie. You just wouldn’t let me teach you, stubborn asshole.”_ Dina smiled. _“You’re doing great, though. Calm down.”_

James nodded, continuing to slice through the chicken. “You’re calling _me_ stubborn? Pot meet kettle.”

 _“Bastard.”_ Dina smirked. _“Gonna take Stacy out? Somewhere nice?”_

“She hates getting all dressed up, Mom. She wouldn’t like it.”

 _“True. She didn’t seem like the ‘dress me up’ type of girl.”_ She took a moment to think. _“Oh, you could do something special. Something just the two of you.”_

James hummed, but didn’t say anything more. He was too focused cutting the chicken. After a minute, when he was done with the chicken, James looked at the iPad. “Chicken’s done.”

Dina nodded. _“Can we talk about your Valentine’s Day plans, now?”_

“You can tell me the next step in this recipe.”

_“Jamie.”_

“Mother.”

The stare down lasted for a minute before both parties broke down laughing.

“Honestly, Mom…I’m not sure.” He put the knife down and drummed his fingers on the counter. “She doesn’t like getting dressed up and uncomfortable. She doesn’t like flowers, she doesn’t eat a lot of chocolate.”

Dina interrupted his train of thought. _“You’re going about this wrong, Jamie.”_ As he gave her a strange look, Dina sighed. _“Jamie, sweetheart, you’re trying to go down the normal cliché route. She’s not a normal cliché girl. Think outside the box.”_

 

After James’ attempt at chicken marsala went decently well, the two wound up cuddling on the couch watching Walking Dead reruns. He made a mental note to thank his mom for helping him out. Stacy snuggled closer to James, full and happy.

During the next commercial break, James decided to broach the Valentine’s Day situation.

“What do you wanna do for V-day?”

She craned her neck up to look at his face. “Are we doing it _on_ the fourteenth? Or the weekend before?”

“How about the Friday before? Cause you’re singing on Saturday.”

Stacy nodded, snuggling back into his side. “Take me to Olive Garden. I’ll be happy.”

James snorted. “We all took you to Olive Garden for your birthday. You wanna go again?”

“I love Olive Garden.” She linked their fingers together. “Or you could cook again. I quite enjoyed tonight.”

James chuckled. “I’ll take you anywhere, you know.” Stacy pulled away from him, turning to sit sideways on the couch so she could look him in the face. “I know you’re not into fancy restaurants and all that, but I love you and I wanna make this special.”

“James, the only thing I want is to be with you. I don’t care if you take me to McDonalds, as long as we are there together.”

“I will not take you to McDonalds.” James wrinkled his nose. “Maybe Taco Bell.”

Stacy giggled, “Five-dollar lunch box?” Then, Stacy had an idea. “Sing with me!”

“What?”

“You never completed your side of the bet, and it can be my V-day present!”

She was proud of herself for coming up with her ‘brilliant’ idea, but James wasn’t so enthused.

 

James learned that The Barn puts on a huge Valentine’s Day party every year. Instead of the normal Saturday night live music, they would be treated with live music _and_ a DJ. The guys were all excited to be invited, especially when they learned Stacy would sing four songs instead of her regular one or two.

With so many songs needing practiced, Stacy took the week off from Cow Chop. James was debating on which restaurant to take Stacy to, but her wanting him to sing was running through his brain. He must have looked distracted because he didn’t even notice Trevor throwing a costume at his head, until it hit him.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

Trevor laughed. “Thought you heard me.”

“Nah, guess not.” James flipped the package over to see a Yoshi costume. “Sorry, man.”

With a strange look on his face, Trevor sat down on the couch beside him. “You okay?”

“Stacy wants me to sing with her. I know she thinks I can sing, but maybe she’s…I dunno, biased or something?”

Trevor looked at him, cocking an eyebrow. “We’ve heard you sing, James. You’re not as bad as you think.” When James still looked unconvinced, Trevor just rolled his eyes. “All you need is some training. Why don’t you go talk to Gram? She taught Stacy how to sing, maybe she can help you out?”

James left not long after recording and headed toward Gram’s farm house. He was nervous as fuck, practically shaking, as he pulled up in front of the house. He was hoping Stacy wouldn’t come back to the house and catch him there, but he needed help, and Gram was the only one who could help him.

James walked up on the farm house porch, nervously knocking on the door.

It was Mama who answered the door, smiling when she saw who was knocking. “James, sweetie, Stacy’s at The Barn.”

“Nah, Mama, I know. I’m actually here to see Gram.” James stepped through the door as Mama led him to the kitchen. Gram was standing at the stove, stirring something that smelled amazing.

“James wants to talk to you. I’ll stir while you talk.” Mama said, taking Gram’s place at the stove.

Gram came over to hug James. “Now, what’s going on?”

“I want to do something special for Stacy for Valentine’s Day…but I need some help. She’s been after me to sing for her, but I’m…I’m scared of it. I thought, maybe, if you trained me a little bit? Maybe I wouldn’t sound so bad?”

“Not to mention you owe her your side of the bet from so long ago.” Gram said, crossing her arms.

James sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, that too.”

“Well, let’s get started. Lay on the ground.” When James just looked at her like she grew a second head, Gram just sighed. “Karmen played me the video of you singing. You need to learn to sing through your diaphragm. And, the quickest way to learn? By laying on the floor.” When James kept staring at her strangely, Gram added, “Do you trust me?”

With a nod, James laid on the floor. He felt like an idiot, but Gram stood over him, telling him to breathe in and out. She knelt beside him, putting her hand on his lower stomach. “When you breathe in, push your lower stomach out, when you breathe out, let your stomach sink back down. That’s breathing through your diaphragm.”

Gram was happy James was a fast learner. After an hour, James had the breathing part down and was starting to sing while lying on the floor. She smiled as she heard him hold his notes longer and longer before faltering. He might not have realized it, but his voice was getting stronger, louder, and clearer.

It was almost dinner time when Gram told James to get up. She said he needed a break, and to come eat. It wasn’t long after that, the girls came in. Gram told a lie that she’d invited James down to eat, and, surprisingly, Stacy bought it. No questions asked. Honestly, Stacy was just happy to see him, since she knew there wouldn’t be many moments for that threw the rest of the week.

James and Gram’s “dates” happened every evening until the Friday before Valentine’s Day. He was shocked Karmen gave Stacy the night off for a date as he picked her up. She smiled as she hopped in the car, giving James a kiss.

“I missed you!”

James smiled. “I missed you, too.”

“Text messages just aren’t the same thing.” Stacy joked. “So…where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

They drove into downtown Denver, with Stacy still confused as to where they were going. When they finally pulled into a parking lot, Stacy’s eyes lit up. It was an arcade. An old-school arcade.

“Fuck, James! This is amazing!” She was smiling ear-to-ear as she hopped out of the car.

Stacy was like a kid in a candy store once she stepped in the door, and her enthusiasm was contagious. She grabbed James hand and pulled him toward the air hockey table.

“This is my favorite game, James. Let’s play.”

They played five rounds before James threw his hands up. Stacy played this game a lot more than James did, and she was better at the game then he was. He wasn’t stupid, James knew when he was beaten, so he dragged her to something he was good at: a shooting game. Stacy lost that game, which made James feel better from his terrible loss.

The two spent hours at the arcade, playing every game they came across. To end the night, James took a selfie with her and tweeted it out as “ _The best V-day ever!_ ”

 


	22. Valentine's Day

This was it. Saturday night. Valentine’s Day party at The Barn. And James holding up his end of the bet: singing on stage.

No matter how hard James tried, his nerves were showing through. Gram had the song all planned, how they were going to get Stacy on stage to sing it, and how James would get on stage without her seeing. Gram may have had it all planned out, but James didn’t. His hands were shaking, he could feel the sweat under his collar. He wasn’t allowed to drink his nerves away, as Gram had threatened him with bodily harm if she caught him with alcohol, so he had no way of controlling them.

“I’m gonna throw up.” James was standing next to Aleks, who was _supposed_ to be helping him calm down. Aleks wasn’t good at his job.

“Dude, calm the fuck down. You record shit for hundred-thousands of people every day. Why is _this_ tripping you up?”

James was only half joking about his urge to throw up, and downed his sweet tea in hopes of stopping that. “That’s different.”

Aleks snorted, waving his hand dismissively at him. “You’ll be fine. Stacy will be right beside you, Gram has taught you all week, you’ve got this.”

James decided to give his shaking legs a rest and sit down with the rest of the Cow Chop crew. Their group had grown, as Anna had brought her boyfriend, and Asher brought his girlfriend. As they all settled in their seats, the conversation turned to James’ impending doom.

“What are you singing?” Trevor asked, his mouth full of pretzel. The basket in the middle of the table that used to hold pretzels was lucky to have a handful left.

He swallowed his nerves for the thousandth time that evening.

Aleks laughed. “Don’t get him started. I think he might actually throw up if people keep talking about it.”

Brett, who flew in just for this party, was slapping Trevor’s hand every time the kid reached for another pretzel. “Can’t wait to see how she’s dressed, honestly.” Anna answered him by sliding her phone toward him with a picture of the outfit already queued up. “Fuck me.”

“She’s going to look amazing, if Karmen can actually get her into it.” James laughed at Anna’s words, having already seen the picture and heard Stacy’s mad ramblings about how she _was not_ wearing it.

The phone was being passed around, showing the skin tight, black leather pants. There was a bright red tank top lying on top of a leather jacket in the picture.  

“I’m surprised she’s wearing that, to be honest. She never wears anything that tight.” Brett was picking through what was left of the pretzels. “Sad, but true.”

“She hates the way she looks.” Anna offered. “Karmen said she had a lot of trouble with her weight in high school.”

Joe looked honestly surprised. “Her weight? She’s not fat. She’s curvy. There’s a difference there.”

“To her, there isn’t. You should have seen her picking out a dress for that wedding. It’s all we heard. _I’m too fat to wear that. My ass won’t fit in that. I’m not you, Karmen. I can’t wear stuff like that._ God, Karmen was getting pissed. We couldn’t get it through her head she’s not fucking fat.” Anna breathed heavily. “I wish she’d see herself the way we do.”

Before anyone could respond, the lights dimmed. A spotlight was flicked on and aimed at the middle of the stage. Everyone’s eyes were glued on the stage and the room was silent. You could hear the clicking of high heels on the wooden stage. Soon, Stacy was in front of the microphone stand, her red shirt popping in the otherwise dim room.

She looked nervous, but James knew it wasn’t because of the singing, it was because of that outfit. He could only imagine the fight that Karmen went through getting Stacy into it. She hated her weight, the way her body looked, no matter how much praise James laid on her. He watched as her eyes scanned the crowed. When she finally found James, her eyes screamed _help_. James smiled, wiggling his eyebrows at her. She rolled her eyes, but looked like she loosened up a little.

He heard Trevor breath out a _damn, she’s fucking hot_ before shooting a glare his way. Trevor just shrugged and continued to crunch on his pretzel.

Once she began singing, all of Stacy’s nerves fell away. It wasn’t about the way she looked, or the clothes being too tight. It was about the music, the way the notes sounded, the way she could manipulate her voice to do what she wanted. James was entranced every time she sang, it never got old to him.

_I hear the ticking of the clock  
I’m lying here, the rooms pitch dark_

_I wonder where you are tonight  
No answer on the telephone_

James was proud, smiling from ear-to-ear while watching his girl. The fear of getting up on that same stage ebbed away.

 

The DJ had been playing sappy love songs for the better part of an hour, and the group had slowly dispersed. Anna practically forced Corey to dance with her, as did Asher’s girlfriend. In a fit of courage, Joe asked Karmen to dance. Already on the dance floor, James and Stacy were shocked when the two began dancing beside them.

“Am I seeing things?”

James just shrugged.

When the song ended, Gram tapped Karmen on the shoulder, whispering something to the younger woman. With a nod, Karmen grabbed Stacy’s arm and pulled her backstage. James was confused, being left alone on the floor so abruptly, until Gram grabbed his arm.

“It’s time, honey.”

James was pale white by the time Gram got him backstage. Karmen had Stacy somewhere further in the back, he could hear the sisters arguing. Gram turned to face James, seeing his pale skin, and rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, boy, you’ll be fine. Remember what you’ve learned.” She put her palm flat on his lower stomach. “Sing through here. You’ll do great.”

Meanwhile, Mama reminded the guys it was time to get their equipment set up. This was, after all, part of the bet, and needed to be recorded. She gave Joe and Trevor ten minutes to set up the cameras and tap into the audio. Brett and Aleks gave a quick intro before the lights dimmed again.

James caught a glimpse of Stacy being ushered past the room he was in, a long, dark blue dress flowing behind her. She didn’t notice him, which sent a wave of relief through James. He couldn’t focus on anything else but remembering to breathe at that moment.

Stacy was walking across the stage in her bare feet. For once, a wardrobe issue made her a very happy girl, she didn’t have to wear heels to the stage because they didn’t fit. She got to sing in bare feet. There was concern with this song she was singing. She was supposed to sing with her uncle, but he was nowhere to be seen tonight. Someone mentioned him having the flu, but Gram shut that notion down.

“Your uncle will be here when he’s needed. Just go start the song.”

So, with a lot of confusion, Stacy began her semi-anti-Valentine’s song.

 _Another shot of whiskey, please bartender_  
_Keep it coming ‘til I don’t remember at all_  
_How bad it hurts when you call_

Her uncle should be coming in at the end of the first chorus, and Stacy was subconsciously looking for him as her line ended.

It wasn’t her uncle who stepped out.

With a deep, calming breath, James walked out on the stage, mic in hand.

 _I say that I don’t care, walk away, whatever_  
_And tell myself we were bad together_  
_But that’s just me tryin’ to move on without you_

Stacy’s world stopped as the man began to sing. The shock very evident as she took in the sight before her.

James.

He was actually on stage, singing with her.

And he was _owning_ his part.

As soon as James reached where she was on the stage, he took her hand. Whether it was for the song, or to calm his nerves, he wasn’t sure. But it worked. If he focused on Stacy, his nerves didn’t shake him so bad. James could feel his voice trembling when he first started walking on stage, but once he reached Stacy, it leveled out. The smile on Stacy’s face was worth all the nerves, and James found it hard not to smile back.

The end of the song required a lot of power in James’ voice, and he had it when singing with Gram. Now if he could get it again. As a reminder of what to do, James put his palm flat on his lower stomach. Stacy’s eyes flicked down to see it and got a knowing look in her eye. She knew Gram taught him, Stacy did the same thing when she was still learning.

When the power part of the song came, James’ nerves flared for a moment.

 _For holding on to something that’s_  
_Never ever gonna come back_  
_I can’t accept that it’s lost_

A huge smile broke out on his face when he realized he nailed it, resisting the urge to do a victory jump. Stacy’s eyes shined with pride as they finished the song. As soon as the last notes were sung, Stacy jumped into James’ arms, hugging him tightly.

“You did amazing!”

He felt good about it, happy with what he’d done. The crowd began clapping, the Cow Chop crew whistling and yelling. After they bowed, Stacy pulled him backstage, the smile still on her face.

“So, is this why that song got added randomly? And my uncle is nowhere to be seen tonight?” She asked, still beaming.

James shrugged. “Maybe.”

“How long have you been planning this?” Stacy slid a hand up his chest to the back of his neck.

“About a week.” He leaned down, trying to capture her lips in a kiss.

She pulled her head back, surprised. “A week? You learned how to sing through your diaphragm _and_ control your voice in a week?”

James was a little confused, but nodded his head.

“You are fucking amazing, Jamie.” Stacy breathed out, pressing her lips to his. “Fucking amazing.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st Song: Heart - Alone  
> 2nd Song: Christina Aquilera/Blake Shelton - Just A Fool
> 
> Just random outfits from my head this time...nothing to give a link for, sorry.
> 
> Messing with the timeline again, but I already had this started before they got forcefully evicted.  
> I will keep my thoughts toward the certain person who did this (*cough*cunt*cough*) to myself. I just wanna say that was a shit move.


	23. Little Orphan Cow Chop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I have a pen. I have an apple. Uh, apple pen."

“Hey, James! Did we pay our rent this month?” Aleks walked into the kitchen, a confused look on his face.

James just raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah. Why?”

“The property manager is here.”

Joe had let the man, named John, in the front door. John was a grumpy older man who always had a constipated look on his face. Neither James nor Aleks got along with the man, but they had to act civil for the sake of the channel.

“Hey, John.” James greeted, trying to be upbeat.

John’s eyes, that haven’t stopped looking around since he walked in the door, landed on James. His frown deepened. “I saw your videos.” He was straight to the point, an angry gruff in his voice. “What part of the rental agreement allowed you to destroy my property?”

“We’ve replaced everything we broke, John.” Aleks said. “The holes in the walls are getting fixed, too.”

“Really? And setting fire to the fucking counter? How about the fireworks? Could have burned the fucking house down!” His voice was rising, causing the upstairs inhabitants to realize something was going on.

Trevor, Stacy, and Aron looked at each other and started to come down the stairs. Anna and Asher were close behind. They could hear James and Aleks trying to explain everything to the older man, not making much progress. The argument went back and forth for at least twenty minutes before Aleks got John to see the new doors they’d had installed. It pacified John for the moment, and he did leave. But the tension he created did not leave.

The arguments and clipped conversations with John continued through the rest of the week. Stacy watched James drop further and further into a depressed state as the conversations remained stagnant. Nothing they explained, nothing they offered, made John happy. It hurt the guys to think that someone who watched them was the cause of their pain. A viewer, maybe even a subscriber, sent John the videos, told him everything, and that knowledge was hard to swallow.

Stacy was rubbing James’ back in slow circles as Aleks pleaded with John over the phone.

“John, give us some time. We literally have nowhere else to go.” Aleks ran his hands, shakily, through his hair. “Three days? Three fucking days? Are you serious?” His eyes were wide, a thousand emotions flashing through them. “No, no, we don’t need the cops involved. We’ll move out. You’ll have the house back by Sunday.”

James hung his head, looking defeated. All the crew was in the kitchen, all looking nervous and tense. Aleks hung up his phone and threw it towards the couch.

“Now what do we do?” Aleks asked, both hands in his hair. “Why would someone do this?”

No one answered him, no one knew what to say. The only thing that could be heard was the tapping of the dogs’ nails on the floor.

That night, Stacy and James went to buy all the supplies for packing. James barely said a word the whole time, causing Stacy to worry about her boyfriend. The last thing she wanted was his depression and anxiety to come back. And she _definitely_ did not want another panic attack. When they got back to James’ house, the back of his SUV packed to the brim with boxes, packing tape, and wrapping, Stacy decided he needed a stress reliever.

“C’mon, Jamie.” She took his hand and began pulling him toward the stairs.

James was shaking his head. “I don’t really feel like it tonight.”

“Not sex, Jamie. Just some relaxation. You need it.”

Once she got him in the bedroom, she undid his jeans and let them drop to the floor. Then she pulled at his shirt until she got it off. She ordered him to lay down on his stomach, reaching into the bathroom for a bottle of lotion she’d left. Stacy climbed on the bed, straddling his legs, and put lotion on her hands. After warming it up, she began at the base of his spine and massaged the tight muscles there. James groaned, digging his fingers into the pillow.

“Didn’t know you could do this.”

Stacy laughed. “We haven’t been together that long, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Do you have a dark past I need to know about?”

“Maybe.” She answered, coyly.

She took her time, making sure every knot she encountered was entirely worked out before moving on. Barely at the level of his ribs, Stacy heard him take a deep breath, starting to speak.

“This whole situation fucking sucks.” He paused to wiggle a little bit when Stacy hit a ticklish spot by his ribcage. “What are we going to do now? Not like we can just find another place in a split second.” 

“We’ll figure it out, Jamie. Everything will work out.”

James just snorted. “Does the universe hate me? Can I just have a little bit of good luck without getting my mouth fucked?”

“Jamie, it’s okay. We have a few videos on hand to upload until we work this all out. We’ve got this.” Her hands were nearing his shoulder blades now, and she could feel where all his tension was laying.

With a sigh, James said, “Sometimes I wish you weren’t so fucking optimistic.”

“I’m not. God, within the time we’ve known each other, I’ve had two break downs and an emotional rollercoaster wedding. You’ve been there through all of that. I’ll be here for you.” She caught a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Leaning down, she pressed a kiss below his ear. “Relax, I’ve got you.”

There was a long pause, in which Stacy worked through several huge knots in the muscle between his shoulder blades, before anyone spoke again.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the amount of ‘Jamie’ that’s come out of your mouth today.”

Stacy laughed. “You can punish me later. Right now, hold still and relax.”

 

Once everything was packed, and everything was loaded into the mover’s truck, there was a heavy silence that hung over the crew. They had all been there for months. Many of them could honestly say they spent more time in this house than the one they actually lived in. With a heavy heart, James hid the keys beneath the mat and the group started walking to their respective cars.

The behind-the-scenes video showed James smiling and joking, with excessive use of a certain swear word, but this was really weighing on him. First, the Creature office, and now this house. James was just feeling lost, and everyone could see it.

Before they could back out of the driveway, Stacy’s phone rang. Gram invited them for Sunday dinner, and Stacy was surprised James wanted to go.

It wasn’t long into dinner before Gram and Mama realized James wasn’t acting right, and called him out on it.

“James, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Mama asked, concern lacing her face.

He barely opened his mouth before Gram interrupted him. “Don’t lie to us, boy.”

With a sigh, James started to tell the story. At the end, he added, “I just feel…I dunno…down? I’m not sure, I just know this sucks.”

The two older women looked at each other and then turned back to James. “What kind of space do you need?” Gram asked.

James shrugged. “Something big enough to record, edit, and fuck around in. We don’t need a mansion, but has to be roomy.”

“What about Ronnie’s house?” Mama offered.

Stacy’s eyes snapped to Mama. “Is he out of it?”

“Yeah, he got all moved into the new house last week. His house is just sitting there for now. I’m sure he’d rent it out to you guys until he sells it.”

“You can’t destroy it, though.” Gram said, seriously. “No fireworks, no setting fires, and no busting holes in the fucking walls.”

“It will only be for a couple more months. Then we should be in L.A. and we won’t need it anymore.” James said, the first smile in a week gracing his face.

“So, should we go talk to Ronnie?” Stacy winced, realizing it came out too quick, seeming too much like she was trying to change the subject. James looked at her strangely, as did Mama and Gram, but Stacy ignored it. “That way we can get all moved in as soon as we can?”

James nodded, but still had a questioning look in his eye.

 

A couple hours later, as James talked to Ronnie as they ironed out the rental agreement, Gram grabbed Stacy by the elbow and pulled her into the kitchen.

“Now, tell me what that was all about?”

Stacy played dumb. “What?”

“You went stark white when James mentioned L.A., girl. Do you not want to go?” Gram sat Stacy down in the kitchen chair, taking a seat in the chair beside her.

Stacy didn’t speak for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. The more she thought about it, about how to word everything, the more upset she got. When she finally spoke, tears were forming in her eyes. “I’m afraid, Gram.”

The older woman just ‘tutted’ and pulled Stacy in for a hug. “Oh, sweetie, I know you’re scared. But you will be happy there. A whole fresh start with that amazing man of yours.” Gram pulled away from Stacy, wiping the red head’s eyes. “And it’s not as if you can never come home. We’re just a plane ride way, dear.”

“This is all I’ve ever known.”

“And that’s why you _should_ get out of here.” Gram said with a nod. “I want you to see the world, experience everything you can. Make mistakes. Meet people. Have fun.”

Nodding, Stacy looked around at the kitchen she’d know her entire life. Even moving to her apartment was scary. But it was Gram who convinced her to do that, also. “What about the Barn?”

“Oh my, Darrel will have to actually find _other_ talent? Heaven forbid!” Gram said with a laugh. “And, any time you want to, you can come back and sing. Hell, you might find a place in the big city to sing.” Seeing how Stacy still wasn’t fully convinced, Gram sighed. “We will never forget about you. We will still love you as much in Cali as we do here. Everything is going to be okay.”

“If I go, I’ll miss everything here. If I don’t go, I’ll lose James.”

Gram shook her head. “With video chat, text messages, phone calls, you will know _everything_ that goes on around here. And, I say again, you are a plane ride away. It’s not like you’re going to a different planet.”

Stacy shrugged. “Yeah, true.”

“Everything will be okay.” Gram said, conviction in her voice.  

James picked that moment to reenter the house, a smile on his face. It slipped away when he saw Stacy’s red rimmed eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Gram stood up, pulling Stacy up with her. “She will explain it all to you, later. In detail. But right now, how did you meeting go?”

Keeping an eye on Stacy, he started to speak. “It’s all worked out. We can move in whenever. And we’ve got it for as long as we need.”

“That’s great!” Gram exclaimed. “Go home and celebrate.” And, with a pointed look at Stacy, she added, “And talk.”

 

With as much time as Stacy spent at James’ house, she began to wonder why she even kept her apartment. It wasn’t even a question anymore, James just immediately took her home with him. Today was no exception, just immediately taking the turn towards his street without a second thought. His street was always quiet, just working couples and the elderly living there, a stark contrast to Stacy’s rowdy apartment complex.

Neither of them spoke until they got in the door, Stacy worried about explaining her reluctance to move, and James trying to decipher what was going on. They both greeted Ein before James linked their fingers together and pulled Stacy to the couch.

“Okay, now what’s the matter?” His eyes were soft, filled with worry. She hated being the cause for his worry, especially with everything that has happened the past week. Her anxiety was rising, not wanting to add to it.

“It’s not important.”

“Bullshit.” James shook his head. “Baby, talk to me.”

With a deep breath, and the realization he would not back off from this, Stacy started. “Moving is terrifying, James. I’m afraid that I’m going to miss everything here. That something will happen, and I won’t be here.” She felt the tears pricking at her eyes, and tried to blink them away. “At the same time, I know that I _want_ to go. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose _us_. And moving there, with you, would be an adventure I want to go on. But, Jesus, I’m scared.”

There was a long pause before James responded. “I was scared, too. Moving from PA to Colorado? When I didn’t actually _know_ anyone. I mean, I’d met the guys online, and at cons, but I didn’t actually _know_ them. And, here I was, moving across the fucking country. I get it, baby. It is terrifying. But, you’re not alone. I’m here. And, the plane ride is, like, an hour if you ever want to come home.”

“Don’t you get homesick?”

James laughed. “Of course, I do. I used to Skype Mom constantly when I first moved out here. But it gets easier, eventually.”

She nodded, thinking deeply about what he’d said. “I do want to go.”

“I know. And we have a couple months before it happens.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “We’ve got this.”

Stacy gave him a small smile.

“Yeah, we’ve got this.”


	24. Photograph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so MS has decided that you must pay a monthly fee for their software. Why? Fuck if I know. 
> 
> So, until payday, I downloaded a free program, Open Office...so if the formatting is different, I'm still playing around with it. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay. Love you, my lovely readers. XD

Surprising to Gram, the guys heeded her warnings and behaved. Two weeks of recording in Ronnie's old house, and there were no marks on the walls, no holes, and no smoke detectors going off. The guys still goofed around, still made a mess and acted like idiots, but they refrained from property damage while they were there.

 

The one thing the guys loved about working there was the food. Gram and Mama cooked for the guys everyday. Gone were Stacy's Taco Tuesday and Fuck You Friday, now they were getting homemade farm fresh food. James joked that he'd gain back all the weight he lost, and Gram just glared, pulling at his shirt collar. She could see a faint outline of his collarbone, and wasn't happy. He was forced to eat a second helping, much to his dismay.

 

Aleks came to work one day with several boxes in his car. He stopped at the post office to pick up their fan mail, and came back with more than he bargained for. The crew all helped to unload the car, hauling the boxes into the dining room, which was now a catch-all for whatever the guys brought into the house.

 

After setting up the cameras, the guys began the unboxing. Anna and Stacy manned the cameras, watching the guys open up silly hats, sunglasses with penises printed on the lenses, and whatever other random things the fans could find.

 

One box they opened caused Joe to come over and grab the camera from Stacy.

 

“It's for you.” He said, pushing her over to the table holding the boxes.

 

“Me?” Stacy asked, surprised. She made her way around the wrappers and packaging scattered on the floor to where James was standing, holding the box out to her.

 

“Yup, for you.” James smiled, digging through another box as soon as Stacy took hers. “Enjoy.”

 

She slowly opened the package, still in disbelief the fans would get her anything. She honestly didn't think they liked her, just tolerated her. Inside the box was a letter and a framed picture wrapped in bubble wrap. Once she peeled the wrap off of it, her breath caught in her throat. It was a high-res photo of Stacy and James, her arms around his neck, their foreheads pressed together. Their eyes were closed, their faces so relaxed and content. 

 

James noticed Stacy beaming at the photo in her hands and peeked over her shoulder. To him, it looked as if it was taken at the Barn on Valentine's Day.

 

“We can hang that in our place in L.A.” James whispered in her ear, making her smile widen.

 

“I never thought they'd send _me_ something.” 

 

“The fans do like you, Stace. I think the stream helped that along.” He pressed a kiss to her temple and continued digging through his box.

 

Stacy turned to the letter, sitting down on the throne to read it. It was written by a girl, Ashlynn, who was impressed with Stacy's commitment to James from the stream.

 

“ _James deserves to be happy, and since he's met you, he has been. His confidence has skyrocketed, and you are to thank for that. The fans, the ones who aren't completely stupid, see how happy you make him and respect you for that._

 

_The photo is my favorite one of you two. I found it on Tumblr, and I'm not sure where it came from, but it's beautiful. Thanks for making our boy happy again.”_

 

Stacy was humbled. She was happy some of the fans saw how much she loved James.

 

James said her name, making her look up from the letter. He threw her a t-shirt that said _I'm fucking James Wilson._   
  


“It's for you.” He said with a laugh.

 

“Or Aleks.” Stacy shot back, earning a fake laugh from James.

 

He held up his own shirt that said _My girlfriend swallows._ “Damn, Stace. They know you so well.”

 

Stacy flipped him off, earning a laugh from the whole room.

 

 

On April first, the Cow Chop crew were taking the pranks way too far. The house was littered with silly string, foam darts, and the smell of fart spray. Everyone was manned with a camera to catch the antics for a video, although it doubled as a way to prove who set up the prank. Stacy was late coming in, and walked in the house to a face full of whipped cream. Aron was throwing a pie at Trevor, who dodged it. Just so happened Stacy opened the door at the exact right time. Anna threw her a towel for her face while James was too busy wheezing on the floor with laughter. Once Stacy got most of the whipped cream off her face, she took a large clump from her hair and smashed it all over James' face as payback.

 

The antics lasted the entire day, getting progressively less innocent as the day dragged on. Finally, when Asher got a bloody nose from getting hit with an empty silly string can, the pranks stopped. It may have honestly been an accident, but when Mama came down to give Asher some first aid the lecture she gave left them all feeling guilty.

 

By the time the day was over, Asher had a huge bruise across the bridge of his nose. He left with an ice pack and a tin of cookies. Mama felt bad and baked him chocolate chip cookies to help him feel better.

 

Stacy was standing against the island in the kitchen when James found her. She was picking at the silly string strand drying onto the counter top, staring off at nothing. He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle.

 

“What's up?”

 

She let her head fall back on his shoulder. “My apartment building is being torn down. Everyone has two months to find a new place to live.”

 

James went stock still for a second while it all sank into his brain. “Torn down? For what?”

 

“A strip mall, someone said.” Stacy sighed. “Uncle Vinnie is gonna haul my stuff to Gram's shed for storage.”

 

“When are you moving in?” James asked, resting his chin on her shoulder.

 

“Eh, ya know. Whenever Uncle Vinnie decides to get around to it.”

 

“Well, we can get whatever we can in my SUV. Probably get your clothes and shit in there.”

 

Stacy scoffed. “I don't have _shit_. Besides, it's not that far from there to here.”

 

“Why would you bring everything here?”

 

Confused, Stacy turned around to look at James head on. “Where am I supposed to take it?”

 

“...To my house?”

 

There was a pregnant pause before Stacy caught on. “Are...are you asking me to move in with you?”

 

“Aren't we living together when we get to L.A., or did I read this wrong?” James asked, his eyebrow raised. “What would be the difference between living together now, or waiting until we move?”

 

“Jamie!” Stacy squealed, hugging him tightly. “I love you.”

 

 

Two weeks later Stacy's stuff was divided between Gram's storage shed and James' house. Once all the big furniture was moved to storage, Stacy realized she really didn't have a lot to take to James'. Clothes, her laptop, her consoles...and not much else. It all fit in James' vehicle, and took all of five minutes to drag in.

 

Stacy was in the bedroom, setting another laundry basket of her clothes on the floor by James' dresser. Living out of laundry baskets for a few months wasn't the worst thing in the world. Hell, when she'd spent the night, it was the same thing.

 

The picture the fans had sent her was hanging on the wall above James' bed – _their_ bed.

 

She had just sat the last basket down when James poked his head in the door.

 

“Wanna record with me?”

 

“You sure?” She asked. “The fans will be okay with that?”

 

James shrugged. “Can't see why not. C'mon.”

 

She was all hooked up, James' old computer chair pulled up to the desk, his spare headphones on her head. James squeezed her hand before starting the recording.

 

“Ready?”

 

She nodded. “Don't let me make an ass out of myself, please?”

 

He laughed and pushed record. “Alright, hello! Welcome back to The Hat.”

 

 

 


	25. Self-Deprecation

First unwritten rule of YouTube: don’t read the comments. Especially if you’ve not grown your thick skin that horrible people’s written words bounce off of. James had learned this through his years of recording, but Stacy was still new to this. She didn’t have the first-hand knowledge of how awful people could be when shrouded by anonymity. It didn’t occur to him she would read the comments section of their shared video or he would have warned her, stopped her. Maybe she was expecting a repeat of the stream chat? A repeat of the occasional assholes mixed in with the decent fans?

With her laptop propped on her legs, the red head scrolled through the comment section. Truth be told, she wanted to see if the video uploaded okay. But, curiosity got the better of her. The first few were just comments about the game itself, about how terrible it was. She scrolled past two comments arguing over which one sent the game to James first, which was getting a little heated.

Then she saw one that made her stop.

“ _So…guess I never really saw her up close before, but she’s kind of fat, isn’t she? I mean, James looks damn good and he could do so much better than…that.”_

The replies to that comment didn’t get any nicer.

“ _She’s not that pretty, either.”_  
_“Maybe he likes them thick?”_  
 _“She’s fat, not thick.”_  
 _“Maybe she should join James at the gym, and stay away from the fridge?”_

Stacy slammed her laptop closed, the words echoing in her head. She never liked her body, she never could control her weight. And, the thought that James could do better was a constant thought in her head. He was so thin, his muscles being more and more defined as time went on. From running, his legs were toned and strong. His hair. God, how she loved his hair.

Then there was her. Wide hips, a pouch on her belly that would no go away, thick legs...what did he see in her? On autopilot, Stacy walked into the bedroom, heading toward the full length mirror on his closet door. She stood in front of the mirror, her eyes scanning her body. She pulled at the back of her shirt until it was tight against her front, showing the rolls on her stomach. Sucking in a breath, she sucked in her stomach, trying to rid her reflection of the imperfections. It was no use. Sighing, she turned around, taking in how her wide hips made her back end look bigger. She turned back around, stepping closer to the mirror, focusing on her face. Round, wide face with deep set eyes. She had one tooth that grew crooked, overlapping another one slightly. Her hair was straight with very little volume. She had freckles that splattered her cheeks, forehead, and nose.

What did he _see_ in her? She wasn't special. She wasn't extremely beautiful, or thin, or fit. She was just...plain. Just a farm girl. Nothing special.

Vaguely, she heard the sound of James closing his office door and walking toward the bedroom. She couldn't face him, not now. Not with her head swimming in self-deprecating thoughts. Before he got to the door, she had ran into the bathroom and started the shower. It was a great place to hide for a few minutes before she had to face him. For now, she leaned against the sink tried to work through her thoughts.

When they went to LA, would he find someone else? Someone he wished he could be with instead? Would the big city be how they end? Hell, they'd only been together for a little over two months. He didn't owe her anything. He could leave when he wanted to.

She slowly undressed and climbed in the shower. The water was cold, she didn't mix the temperatures right. But she forced herself to stay under the water, a punishment for how she was and what she couldn't fix.

James saw the laptop on the bed and heard the shower running. It was late, going on two am when he got done recording. Resident Evil VII was addicting, and he had to finish it once he started. He'd hoped to come in and regale his girl with his amazing gaming skills, but she must have gotten tired waiting for him. James started to move the laptop off the bed when he realized it was still running. Stacy never left her laptop running, claiming it ruins the motherboard. Confused as to why she didn't shut it down, he opened it. First thing James saw as the screen loaded was the comment section of YouTube. He only had to skim the page to understand why she'd left her laptop in a hurry. The comments were horrible, and James knew she had self-esteem issues when it came to her body. He closed the laptop and sat it on the dresser. Stacy had this habit of hiding from James when she was upset, and he hated that. He wished she would just _talk_ to him instead of keeping everything bottled up inside. It was as if she was afraid to upset _him_. This was not something James would just let her deal with on her own, so he set off toward the bathroom.

A knock on the door pulled Stacy from the thoughts swimming through her brain. James was walking toward the shower when Stacy grabbed the towel to cover herself. He'd seen her naked before. Hell, they had showered together before. But it was different now. If he saw her, took her all in, he'd realize the mistake he'd made.

“Baby?”

She heard him call out to her, making her heart ache. The sweet way he talked to her was something she never had before. Usually, she'd call out to him, take him into her arms, but not this time. This time she pressed herself further into the shower wall, the towel covering as much of her body as it could. If she didn't answer, maybe he'd give up. Maybe he'd just go to bed, go to sleep, and let her slink in and hide under the blankets.

He'd reached the shower doors, the totally clear glass shower doors Stacy didn't take into account. He looked concerned at the way she was hiding in the corner of the shower, the towel pressed against her body. She was shaking. Never giving it a second thought, James opened the glass doors and turned the water off, realizing how cold it was.

“Damn, baby, why's the water so cold?” He reached out to her, but she didn't move at first, just stared at him. “C'mon, come to me.”

It took some coaxing, but she eventually peeled herself away from the wall and let him help her from the shower. He grabbed a fresh towel and attempted to dry her off, but she pushed his hands away.

“Don't.” She winced at how forceful her words were, but she didn't want him touching her right then. “Just go out there.”

James just stared at her, his hands frozen where she'd pushed them. “Why can't I help?”

“I don't want you to see me.”

He slowly reached out to her, gently touching her bare shoulders. “Stacy, baby, you can't listen to the comments. You know they are cunts. You can't believe them.”

Her eyes snapped to his as he talked. “You know? You know what they're saying? What they think of me?” When he nodded, she stepped further away from him, his hands falling from her shoulders. “Then why are you still here?”

“What?” Jame's voice rang through the bathroom. “Why am I still here? You think I'm gonna leave you?” He stepped closer to her, ignoring how she curled into herself. “I'm not shallow. I'm not going to leave just because I got myself back in shape.”

“They're right.” A tear fell down her face. “You could do better. And in LA, you're gonna find someone else. Some pretty girl-”

“Fuck that!” James yelled. Passion making him sound angry. “I'm not going anywhere. You are what I want. You. There is _no one else_ who is going to put up with me and my bullshit. Who would have stood by me through my fucking panic attack? Who would have gotten me another ticket to go home?” He advanced on her, grabbing her face in his hands. “I have wanted you since I saw you dancing through that fucking kitchen, and I still want you now.”

She was crying, her fingers gripping at his t-shirt. “Jamie...”

“You are beautiful to me, and that is all that matters.” He pulled her against him, cradling her until she stopped sobbing. Once the tears slowed, he took her hand and pulled her to the bedroom. Standing her in front of the mirror, he pulled the towel from her body. “Show me what you think is wrong.”

It took Stacy a minute, her cheeks flushed from the way his intense gaze roamed over her. She opened her mouth to speak several time, but her voice failed her. Instead, she started pointing, trying to show him without words.

She started at her head, pulling at her hair, her nose, her cheeks. “M-My hair...too thin, too straight. My nose is t-too big, it bumps yours when we kiss...a-all the time. My face is round, it always looks so f- _fat_.”

James pressed a kiss to her temple, brushing his fingers through her hair. “Keep going.”

“My shoulders are too broad. My boobs sag. I have this fucking pouch on my stomach that _will not_ go away. My hips are too wide, my legs are too thick. Jesus, Jamie, why do you want me? You should be disgusted by me.” Her voice cracked at the end, but James didn't falter. He just walked in front of the mirror, hiding her reflection with his body.

Starting at her shoulders his hands began caressing her skin lightly. “You're shoulders are not broad. It's all the muscle you've built up lifting feed sacks and carrying farm shit around. I've seen you pick up a hundred pound feed sack and throw it over your shoulder like it was nothing. You can bench more than me, and you know it.” His fingers trailed down, ghosting over the top of her breasts. “And these? C'mon, you know I love these girls.” He saw a slight smile tug at her lips. He pressed a kiss on top of each breast, his hands continuing their journey down. He got on his knees, eye level with her stomach.

“James, no.” She tried to pull him back up, but James stayed on his knees.

“This pouch you hate so much? I think it's fucking adorable.” He ran his hands over her stomach and pressed his lips right above her bellybutton. “I quite enjoy your hips, too.” He gripped them the same way he does during sex, pressing his thumbs into her skin. “This is my favorite part of you, actually.”

She gave up trying to pull him back up, especially when he gripped her hips like that. She felt a heat blooming in her stomach at the familiar sensation of his fingers digging into her skin. “Jamie.”

He glanced up at her, his eyes dark. Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he pressed a kiss into her skin, right above where his thumbs were gripping at her. She left a breathe out through her mouth at the sensation. “Now, my beautiful woman, let's go to bed and I will show you _exactly_ how much I love your body, every fucking _inch_ of your body, until you believe it. And, if it takes all night, then whatever.”

In one fluid motion, he stood up and lifted her off her feet. He carried her, bridal style, to the bed, gently laying her down. He spent all night showing her exactly what he couldn't vocalize, and by the morning the comments could barely be heard in the back of her head.

She could only hear the way James said her name as he held her tight.

 


	26. To the Cow Barn

There are only a few things Gram will not tolerate. And, one of them, Aleks had just said.

Gram decided to take the boys over ham barbecue and fries for dinner. After, James and Aleks had begun recording while Gram and Stacy cleaned up the empty food containers. During the recording, an argument had broke out between the two guys, resulting in some very clever uses of swear words leaving both their mouths.

“What do you mean I'm not playing right?” James snapped, practically mashing the buttons through the back of his controller.

“You fucking suck, that's what I mean.”

There was a period of silent button mashing until Aleks apparently won that round. James threw his controller on the ground, stomping off and grabbing his hair. Gram had turned to watch the guys rage, shaking her head.

“Cocksucker!” James yelled from the hallway. “I hate playing games with you!”

Aleks snickered as James came back in the room, picking up his controller to see the damage. One of the joysticks was broken off, dangling by a piece of rubber that was ready to break. As he plopped down on the couch, Aleks patted him on the leg.

“Don't be a chode about it.” When James threw him a glare, Aleks shook his head. “Not my fault you break everything you touch.”

“Don't start, fucker.”

Aleks shrugged. “Don't be a fag about it.”

It took Gram half a second to make her way from the kitchen to the recording room. She came up behind the couch, pushing Aleks' hat off his head, and grabbed a handful of his hair. Pulling his head back, she leaned down close to his ear.

“If I ever hear you say that word again, I'll make it so you never speak again. Do you understand me, Aleks?”

James eyes were wide, not believing what he was seeing. Aleks looked honestly scared. And Stacy didn't know how to diffuse the situation, but was next to the couch, her hands frozen in mid-air.

“Y-Yes, Gram. I'm sorry.”

She let go of his hair, patting it back down. “Good boy.”

After Gram left, Stacy came back into the recording room, wringing her hands together.

“Aleks. You okay?”

Said man looked toward her direction. “Never made Gram mad before.”

“Yeah, I never thought to tell you guys. Gram hates that word. I mean, there's a whole story behind it and all, but yeah...”

“What's the story?” James asked, legs propped up on the coffee table.

Stacy tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before replying. “Um, my cousin, he came out when we were in high school. Our school...it's a small country school. Nearly everyone lived on a farm, and, sadly that made some of them backward and ignorant. So, not a lot of them understood it, or cared how much courage it took for him to come out.” She paused, her eyes unfocused at the memory. “There were a bunch of kids, they all got together. At first it was tame, I guess you could put it. They wrote shit on his locker and spread rumors. Then it was openly saying shit to him in the hallway. It just got worse from there. But, it all ended when they spray painted 'fag' on the side of his car, in the school parking lot. Gram took care of it after that...not sure how, not sure I want to know. But no one ever bothered him again.”

“Damn.” James breathed out. “Which cousin? Did I meet him?”

“No, he lives in LA...God, I can't wait to see him. His name is Bobby.” She smiled. “But, anyway, Gram has banned that word from the family's vocabulary. And, sorry, but she considers you family.”

Aleks, who may come across as an asshole, is actually a sweetheart. Gram got a huge vase of flowers with an apology the next day.

  
  


Two weeks later, Ronnie came to visit the guys at the house. The moment Stacy saw his face, she knew something was wrong. Her uncle forced a smile as he sat at the kitchen table, James and Aleks across from him.

“Something wrong?” Stacy asked, standing beside James.

Ronnie took a deep breath. “I know I told you guys you could stay here as long as you want, and I'm sorry about this, but my son wants to buy this house.”

“How long do we have?” Aleks asked, a sad tone to his voice. At this point, the guys were tired of being shuffled around. “I mean, we have to get the movers back and all.”

Ronnie shook his head. “I'm not going to leave you without anywhere to go. I know I'm throwing this at you, but I'm trying not to be an asshole. It's not the best option, but you guy can use it free of charge, except you pay the internet.”

“Where?” Stacy asked, trying to figure out where else Ronnie could mean.

“Me and the boys cleaned out the back barn. It's out of the way, you can do whatever you want back there, just don't burn it down. It's got electric ran everywhere, heater and air conditioner. Cement floors. The walls aren't done, but you can cover them however you want. Bathroom with running water. And Comcast is coming Monday to give you dedicated internet.” Ronnie stood up and motioned toward the door. “Let me take you boys to see it, okay?”

An hour later they returned, and Stacy was surprised to see a smile on their faces. Ronnie dropped them off with a wave before the boys came in the door.

“It's huge.” Aleks said. “What are we gonna do with all that space, dude?”

“So...you like it?” Stacy asked, her curiosity driving her insane.

James nodded. “It's rough, but it's in the middle of nowhere. If we yell and scream, no one will hear us. I mean, it will definitely work.”

“It's got this, like, hidden room in the back. Two of the editors can go back there.” Aleks said, grabbing a water form the fridge. “It's only for, like, another month.”

“It's got everything we need. And, honestly, Ronnie gave us a damn good place for free. All we gotta pay is internet? That's amazing.” James smiled.

Happy her guys were happy, Stacy breathed out a sigh of relief. She was thankful her family wasn't full of dicks and helped out.

  
  


Two days later, the guys were all moved in and waiting for the internet guy to finish his part. He was a young kid who kept checking out Anna, much to her dismay. Aleks kept making jokes about how the guy could have been done an hour ago if Anna wasn't there. When Mama called, saying lunch was ready, Anna jumped at the opportunity to go get the food with Stacy.

By the time the girls got back, the young kid was gone and the boys officially had internet. After lunch, it was back to normal recording and editing.

Stacy's editing bay was in the opposite corner from the couch, right between Joe and Aron. She joked she was between her two favorite boys, which Trevor took personally.

  
  


The first time Stacy was in a Cow Chop video, that was not a behind the scenes video, happened to be a Reddit Fifty Fifty challenge.

“Hey, Stace!” Aleks yelled across the barn. “Wanna be in a video with us?”

Stacy, who was getting a Dr. Pepper from the fridge, turned around with her eyebrow raised. She knew what that tone in Aleks' voice was by now. “What kind of video?”

“Just a video.” He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. It didn't work.

Deciding she wouldn't try and get the information out of Aleks, she skirted around him and headed toward James. “What kind of video does he want me in, James?”

Sometimes it pissed James off that he could not lie to her. “A challenge video. You're not gonna get hurt, I promise.”

“What kind of challenge?”

“Jesus, Stacy. Stop being a bitch and do the video.” Aleks rolled his eyes.

“For the last time, Aleks. What. Kind. Of. Challenge?” She poked him in the chest with each word.

James sighed as he felt himself cave, and he wasn't even at the other end of her rage. “Reddit Fifty Fifty.”

With a look of betrayal from Aleks, and a look of disbelief from Stacy, James really wanted a hole to crawl into.

“No.”

That was her final word on it as she stomped back to her desk and put her headphones on. No one mentioned the video again until the next day.

“You're just saying no cause you're a pussy.” Aleks challenged. “I did it, and I didn't get sick. You know you'll puss out, so you're saying no.”

“I'm a pussy cause I don't want to see gore? Wow, I'm such a horrible person.” Stacy deadpanned.

Aleks threw his hands up. “Fuck. You're impossible.”

“Go get someone else. Make Trevor watch it. Or make Asher watch it. Why me?” Stacy was honestly confused.

“He wants to see how much you can take before you gag.” James answered, rolling his eyes. “He's not gonna give up, might as well just do it.”

After a pause, Stacy breathed heavily. “Fine. But if I go through those and don't gag, you owe me Olive Garden. Clear?” She glared at Aleks, who laughed and nodded.

“Deal.”

  
  


“Decapitated man or a kitten with a bow tie?” Stacy read the link Aleks was hovering over. “If you click on the kitten part, do you think that ups the odds?”

“Doubt it.” James laughed.

Luckily, that link led to an adorable black and white kitten with a bright blue bow tie. The second link turned out to be an adorable baby sloth, so Stacy felt the odds were in their favor.

“Human barbecue or bouncing breasts?” James read. “Personally, I want the boobies.”

The link led to an image of a person burned entirely to a charcoal black in what seemed to be a car. Stacy put her hand over her mouth, gasping.

“What the fuck? Who takes pictures of this shit?” James said, pulling his beanie down over his eyes.

Aleks hit the back button, laughing at their reactions. “I'm Russian. I've seen worse.”

“Not something to brag about.” Stacy said, glaring at him.

“Hot red head deep throats or a penis stuck in a bike chain?” Aleks read, looking over at Stacy. “Will this be a pic of you?”

Stacy gave a fake laugh. “Click the link, fucker.”

Once the link was clicked, there was a long pause. Then, as if it just clicked what they were seeing, both men got up off the couch and walked away, cringing.

There was a penis legitimately wrapped up in a bicycle chain. Stacy hugged her stomach as she laughed watching both guys squeeze their legs together and freak out.

“I won!” Stacy yelled, throwing her hands up in victory. “Olive Garden, here we come, bitches!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I tried the Fifty Fifty challenge, and I'm pretty sure I'm scarred for life. If you have a weak stomach, do not fucking do that. Holy fuck.
> 
> btw: a couple chapters ago, I had James use the sentence "torn down. for what?" and when I re-read it, I read it as "turn down for what" so now all I can hear is James saying that like Lil Jon and doing that goofy dance he does. Look, if it's in my head, it needs to be in your head. So, you're welcome.


	27. Easily Startled

It was a Saturday when Stacy came bounding down the stairs, an idea on her mind. James was standing in the kitchen microwaving oatmeal. Once he saw her face, James began dreading the look in her eyes.

“Stop.” He held up his hand, causing her to slide to a halt. “It's early in the morning, I haven't had my coffee or my oatmeal yet. I'm not ready for your crazy ideas.”

There was a pause, in which James took a sip of his heavily sweetened coffee, eyes still locked on hers. She waited until he fixed up his oatmeal and carried it to the couch before trying again. Before he could fully get comfortable she curled up on his lap, stretching her legs over the console. James sighed heavily, wiggling his arm around until he could properly eat his oatmeal. Stacy was cradling his coffee in an attempt at making peace with James.

He was always grumpy in the mornings.

“So...” Stacy decided a slow transition into her idea was the best approach. When he didn't instantly shoot her down, she continued. “When we move to LA...what do you think about a road trip?”

Just putting a spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth, he couldn't answer. He simply raised an eyebrow at her.

“I mean, it would save on some moving costs. We could put a U-Haul behind your SUV. I looked it up, it's almost a sixteen hour drive. We could do it.”

He didn't answer right away, which Stacy couldn't decide was good or bad. Finishing his oatmeal, he sat the bowl on the seat next to him, since he couldn't move with his girlfriend on his lap.

“Stacy,” He began. She just knew this wouldn't be a good answer with the way he was talking. “You wanna take Ein on a road trip?”

“Opposed to sticking her in a cage and putting her in the bottom of a plane?”

“Well, ya know.” James looked toward the floor, where Ein was laying beside the coffee table. To be honest, he really didn't want to make Ein go on the flight, either. “Still, Stacy, I don't know if she'd like a sixteen hour drive.”

“We won't drive sixteen hours straight. We will take breaks, see the sights!” He could see the fire in her eyes just thinking about the trip. “Oh, oh! We can go through Vegas! I've never been to Vegas!”

He looked at her, a sudden realization hitting him. “Have you ever left Colorado?”

“When I went with you at Christmas.” She said, then thought a little bit before adding, “Other than that...nope.”

James watched her, thoughtfully, as he debated her idea. On one hand, spending sixteen hours cramped in a car wasn't his idea of a good time. On the other hand, showing his girl the sights would be worth it. And, not caging his dog in the underbelly of a plane was a definite plus. But, they had time before it had to happen, so he tabled the discussion until a later date.

  
  


The guys were getting set up for a Retro Active video when Stacy's phone went off. It was Gram informing them dinner was ready, but she wasn't bringing it to them. They would have to come to her.

The group was walking up the gravel path beside the horse barn when they heard backup beepers. Curious, the group peeked around the barn to see a long horse trailer. One of Stacy's cousins had his head out the window, watching as he navigated the trailer through the barn opening. They could vaguely hear Karmen yelling over the beeping, giving orders over which direction he should be turning. The man was blatantly ignoring her, choosing to roll his eyes and continue what he was doing.

Stacy stepped closer, catching the man's eye. He just gave a quick jerk of his head as acknowledgment.

“Lee, you're gonna knock the light off!” They heard Karmen yell. The man slammed the brakes on, throwing the truck in park.

“You don't like how I'm backing it up, then do it yourself, Karmen!”

Karmen peeked around the trailer, glaring at the man, apparently named Lee. “I'll take him from here. Just park, surely you can do that right.”

The Cow Chop group all exchanged glances as Lee threw himself back in the truck, fuming. They could hear neighing and Karmen talking low to the horse. Stacy was watching between the barn doorway and the trailer.

“Go ahead, Lee. She's got him.” Stacy said, waving the man on. With a huff, he pulled out and disappeared around one of the other barns. The group all came to stand behind Stacy as she admired the horse standing in front of her.

He was a beautiful tan quarter horse. His hair was a dark brown and long. The watched as Karmen pet the horse, scratching behind his ears. Stacy, who was entranced by the beautiful horse, walked slowly toward them.

“Am I coming slow enough?” She asked Karmen, who was still dressed in her white doctor coat, various instruments all strewn around in her pockets, a stethoscope still around her neck. “He's beautiful.”

Karmen smiled, running her fingers through his mane. “You're fine. He's skittish, the owners didn't know how to tame him right. They went with force, which is why he's so easily scared.”

Stacy was almost to him when he snorted and began backing up. She stopped dead in her tracks, not moving a muscle until the horse settled down. “It's okay. You're alright, boy. I'm not gonna hurt you.”

Gripping the lead tighter, Karmen kept petting. “Calm down, Jesse. Everything's alright.”

Taking one step forward, Stacy tried again. She was speaking low and calm, but James' anxiety was spiking. He'd heard stories about some of the horses Karmen houses being easily agitated, due to how they were treated before.

Stacy was almost there, her arm stretched out, a hair's breath away from touching the horses muzzle.

“ _ACHOO!_ ”

The horse turned, his hind legs kicking up in the air. His hooves connected with Stacy's chest, literally throwing her backward through a stable door. James ran forward, ignoring the horse and landing on his knees next to Stacy. Karmen had a death grip on the lead, pulling the horse toward a stable in the back of the barn. With the horse rearing back, Joe ran forward to help her pull, slowly gaining control and getting the horse where they needed it to go. Once in place, Karmen latched the stable door and rushed back to her sister.

“She's not moving.” James said, his voice panicked. “There's blood.”

Karmen gently parted Stacy's hair until she saw the large gash at the back of her head. “Okay, um, Joe call an ambulance. Could someone go get Mama and Gram, tell them what happened?” Karmen pulled a piece of cloth from a pocket and held it to the gash on Stacy's head.

“She...is she?...”

Karmen grabbed James by the chin, forcing his eyes to her. “Stacy is alive. She's going to be fine. I need you to breathe, James. I need to stabilize her head until the paramedics get here.” She held the cloth to Stacy's head, pressing hard. Her other hand pulled at her sisters shirt, seeing the deep red outlines of the horses hooves.

“Jesus.” Aleks breathed out, standing over them. He didn't know what to do, or where to be, so he just stood there.

“She's got a broken rib.” Karmen stated. She prodded at the rib in question. “I can feel it. The others are probably fractured, definitely bruised.”

There was commotion at the doorway as Gram, Mama, and Asher came running in the barn. Shortly after they heard the wail of the ambulance as it skidded to a stop.

Karmen barked out orders as the paramedics lifted Stacy onto the stretcher. “I found one broken rib, I'm sure there's more. And that head wound looks deep, but I couldn't get a good look at it.”

The paramedics nodded, taking in Karmen's orders. Although it was probably her doctors coat allowing her that ability.

  
  


The first thing Stacy heard as she slowly came to was the sound of beeping. Her body felt heavy, the drugs she felt coursing through her veins making it feel as if she was floating in pudding. It took everything she had to get her eyes open, but the light above her was too bright. She squeezed them shut again, letting out a groan.

“Stacy?”

She tried to speak, but nothing came out. Her body too sluggish and her throat too dry. She felt something cold at her lips and slowly opened her mouth. Ice chips slid across her tongue and down her throat, giving her instant relief. She tried to open her eyes again, this time the light blotted out by James' face.

“Jamie.” She managed to croak out. “W-Where am I?”

She could hear his voice shaking now that her brain was waking up. Why would he be worried?

“You're at the hospital, baby.”

She looked at him strangely. “Hospital? Why?”

James grabbed her hand in his, linking their fingers together. “Do you remember the horse?” She nodded. “Something happened, it got spooked. He kicked you.”

“Kicked me? Am I okay?” It was really starting to concern her how little of her body she could feel.

He opened his mouth to answer, but the door to the room opened. Karmen, Mama, and a man in a white coat entered.

“You're awake!” Karmen exclaimed. “God, we were so worried!”

“It just happened.” James said, not letting go of her hand. “She doesn't remember being kicked.”

The doctor nodded. “How alert is she?”

“I'm right here.” Stacy croaked out. “Don't talk about me like I'm not here.”

“She's alert.” Karmen said with a smile.

The doctor looked surprised, but continued on. “I'm Dr. Malone. Let's talk about your injuries. You have a large gash in your head which, once cleaned, we could see a small crack in your skull. It's just a fracture, not broken the whole way through, and there was no brain swelling, so we are not worried about it.” He paused to see if she had any questions, but Stacy just reached her hand up to touch her head, meeting a gauze patch instead. “You're ribs are heavily bandaged, too. You have two broken ribs, one fractured rib, and three bruised ribs.”

“Is that why my body feels so heavy?” Stacy asked, still worried about why she couldn't move too much.

Before answering, the doctor lifted up the bottom of her sheet, exposing her feet. He ran the back of a pen across her feet, watching them jump. Then he ran the back of the pen from her knees down, seeing her body react accordingly.

“Let's give the medication time to expel from your system. I think that is why you have the 'heavy' feeling.”

Once the doctor left, Karmen and Mama each took a side of her bed.

“Don't do this to me again, Stacy.” Mama warned, her calm demeanor giving away how worried she actually was. “That was way too much excitement for your old mother.”

“Not my idea.” Stacy said, giving an attempt at a shrug. “What spooked him?”

Karmen gave a dry laugh. “Someone sneezed. With all the confusion afterward, no one can remember _who_ did it.”

James, who was being very quiet, kept his death grip on her hand as they talked. Stacy asked Karmen about her head wound, and about whether she should be worried about the crack in her skull. The more they talked about it, the paler James got. It was Mama who noticed first, putting her hand on his shoulder, squeezing.

“James, you okay, hon?”

He had an unreadable expression on his face, but nodded. Mama didn't look convinced. She pulled at his arm, forcing him up off his chair.

“Come with me, I'm gonna get Stace a real drink.”

Anyone could tell he didn't want to go, didn't want to leave Stacy's side, but he did go with Mama. Once they got into the vending machine room, James broke down. Mama just pulled him in for a hug, holding him until he was done crying.

“I was so scared, Mama. There was so much blood.”

“Oh, honey, I know. But she's fine. Everything is okay, James.” Mama patted his back, cooing as his breathing calmed down.

He pulled back, wiping his face with the collar of his shirt. “Karmen talking about it wasn't making me feel better. She uses too many fucking doctor words.”

Mama laughed. “Yes, she does. Habit, I guess.” She patted his hair back in place and wiped a stray tear from his face. “You're okay, sweetie. Go to the bathroom and clean up before you go back in there, or you know Stacy will get all worried about you.”

James nodded and headed toward the bathrooms while Mama got Stacy a Mountain Dew from the vending machine.

As James stood in the bathroom, his hands on each side of the sink, staring at his reflection, he saw his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Splashing cold water on his face, he hoped to erase the evidence of his breakdown. Stacy had enough to worry about without worrying about him. Even if she scared the ever loving fuck out of him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a doctor. Maybe you couldn't tell, with all my doctor words and my PHD...yeah, that's a lie.


	28. Freedom is Subjective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, kids. Life got in the way. :(  
> Got some ideas for upcoming chapters, though. :)
> 
> btw: I'm not a doctor. I mean, I know you couldn't tell by the "doctor" and "phd" in my name, but it's a misleading title. So...if some medical stuff isn't right, I'm sorry. I dropped out of college, so don't hold that against me.

It was nearing one in the morning, and Stacy still couldn't sleep. The hospital bed was too hard and was raised at an odd angle that put pressure on her ribs. James was in the recliner beside her bed, the chair pushed back nearly parallel to the ground. He was snoring, his neck craned back to what looked like a painful position. She smiled. Her loyal boyfriend, who never left her side, even slept next to her.

Even if she couldn't sleep.

On the rolling table to her other side laid the paper the doctor gave her, outlining all of her possible symptoms. The skull fracture is what everyone was most worried about, which Stacy understood. There were so many things that could go wrong, so many symptoms she could develop. Stacy picked the paper up, her eyes struggling to focus on the small print. It took all she had to decipher what was written under _Symptoms_.

_Migraines_   
_Blurred vision_   
_Mood swings_   
_Personality changes_   
_Problems with focus_   
_Problems with concentration_   
_Dizziness_

So far blurred vision, migraines, and dizziness was enough for her to deal with. None of the other symptoms needed to crop up. Ever. She sat the paper back and down and scrubbed her hands across her face. Her ribs were aching, and her head was pounding. The pain was keeping her awake, but she refused to take any more painkillers. She hated how the pills made her feel, and made a silent vow not to take them. Although it was getting harder to deal with the pain on her own.

Attempting to tune out the pain, she turned her head in James' direction. She focused on his steady breathing and closed her eyes, hoping it would lull her to sleep. It worked for a few minutes, but as she buried her head further into the pillow, she bumped the patch on her head. Pain shot through her skull. Stacy honestly though she'd held in the scream of pain, but she didn't. Within a second, James was in front of her, his hands on her face.

“Stacy, what happened?”

“I bumped my head on the pillow. The fucking _pillow_!” Stacy felt stupid that something as tiny as that would cause her so much pain.

James' face was filled with concern as he gently cupped her face in his hands. “Need another painkiller?”

“No.” Stacy said, her voice sounding harsher than she meant to. “I hate the way it makes me feel.”

“Baby, I know, but all of it just happened. Give yourself time to heal. And use the pills to help you sleep.” James held up the call bell, waving it in her face.

Stacy shook her head, causing another wave of pain to shoot through her skull. “Fuck.” James just continued waving the call bell as she rolled her eyes.

Conceding, Stacy snatched it from his hands and pushed the red button. While they waited for the nurse, James took her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles. It gave Stacy something else to focus on, which she was grateful for. He gave her a smile, which she returned, and continued his ministrations.

Finally, the nurse came in.

“What do you need, sweetheart?” The nurse was a sweet older lady, whom Stacy loved. She imagined that's what normal people had for grandmothers, not what her Gram was like.

“Can I have something for the pain? Like Tylenol or something?” Stacy asked, shrinking under the glare James shot her.

“Or something stronger than Tylenol, seeing as how she can't sleep.”

The nurse laughed, watching the two interact. “How about we split it down the middle? The doctor ordered Percocet, which is a low-level pain pill.”

After being handed two pills and a small cup of water, Stacy swallowed the pills with a grimace. She hated the taste of medication, and hated swallowing pills in general. Once she handed the empty water cup back, the nurse began to check the bandage on Stacy's head.

“Can James sleep in the bed with me? I always sleep better when he's next to me.”

The nurse smiled. “Ah, young love. Let me check your ribs, then I'll get him a pillow. Deal?”

Stacy smiled, nodding. James stood up, allowing the nurse to pull the blanket and her hospital gown away. A quick check later, James had his pillow in hand and was helping Stacy slide to one edge of the bed. The medication was barely in her system, but she was already feeling the pull. Her eyes were heavy as she watched her boyfriend slip out of his shoes and pull his hair tie loose.

“You're sexy.” She breathed out, her brain already becoming heavy from the pills. “Take it all off?”

James laughed at her making grabby hands at him. “We're in a hospital. So, no.”

It took some fancy maneuvering, but eventually the two got in a semi-comfortable position. Stacy was on her side, her back facing James. His arms were around her hips, as far away from her ribs as he could get. The bandage on her head was staring James in the face as he held her. He could hear Stacy's breathing evening out, slipping into a sound sleep.

Pressing a kiss into the back of her neck, James tangled their feet together and began drifting off.

  


Two days later, the doctor finally released Stacy to go home. Her head injury wasn't getting worse, and the symptoms she did have could be managed, so she was free.

Well...free is subjective.

From the moment James helped her in the door, she was propped on the couch, brought a cold drink, and handed the remote. She was told to sit on the couch and not move. That was it. Nothing else.

Of all the things Stacy hated, not being able to do what she wanted was high on the list. Like, at least second place. She understood he was worried about her, and was trying to minimize her pain, but she just wanted to move.

When James was out of her eye shot, Stacy attempted to stand up. She slid her bottom to the edge of the couch seat, holding her hand over her ribs. Every move caused a shot of pain in her mid-section, but she angled her legs under her and forced herself up. The first attempt barely got her six inches off the couch, as did the second attempt. Finally, with the third push, she got her body to stand. Taking a few seconds to steady herself, Stacy slowly moved her feet around the couch and toward the kitchen.

Just as she put her hand on the kitchen counter, James came from the back room. Their eyes met and Stacy knew she was in trouble. His eyes went from wide with shock to narrowed in mild anger.

“Why in the ever-loving fuck are you standing up?”

Stacy looked sheepish at being caught. “Eh, ya know.”

“...Not an answer.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at Stacy. She hated that look.

“I can't sit around the whole time, Jamie. I need to move.”

James sighed, letting his arms drop to his sides. “I know...” He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “I was scared, Stace. Let me worry for a while, okay?”

Stacy nodded her head and hugged James gingerly, barely making chest to chest contact. It was the most pathetic hug she'd ever given, but it was all she could do for now.

“I didn't mean to scare you, Jamie. We need to make a compromise. You let me get up off the couch, and I'll make sure you are around to watch me. Deal?”

She felt his laugh rumble in his chest. “Deal.”

  


James kept his promise of watching Stacy like a hawk. He wouldn't even stream without her close by. His extra computer chair was pulled up in front of his set up, with a makeshift footstool underneath the desk. James walked her in, sat her on the chair, and even lifted her feet onto the footstool.

“Stop being a tool. I can put my own feet up.” Stacy playfully slapped him on the shoulder.

After getting everything set up, James did his usual set up when Stacy was there. He put the chat on his right most monitor, which was Stacy's job.

“When did you tell everyone about what happened to me?” Stacy asked, taking notice of the flurry of comments flooding the chat.

_Stacy, are you okay?_  
_How are you feeling, Stacy?_  
 _Hey Stacy! Can't ride cock with broken ribs, huh?_

Stacy had to laugh at that last one, although James halfheartedly yelled at the comment. “I'm fine, everyone. Some pain, but I can deal with that. I'll be okay soon, I promise.”

The chat was filled with well wishes and people wanting to see her bruises. Eventually, Stacy caved and, with help from James, got her shirt up high enough to show the chat her horseshoe-shaped bruises over her rib cage. Although there were comments asking her to just take the shirt off, most of them were commenting on how painful they looked.

James was taking it easy on her that night as they took turns trying super expert Mario Maker levels. Nothing strenuous. When they were done with that, James loaded up Skyrim, which Stacy enjoyed watching him play.

Before he had even gotten to Whiterun, Stacy had fell asleep, her chin propped up with her hand. The chat went crazy telling James about it.

“Yeah, figures.” James laughed. “I'm gonna take a break and put her in bed. Gimmie a few, okay?”

He gently woke Stacy up, her eyes heavy and unfocused. James helped her up and slowly walked her down the hall. After tucking Stacy into bed, James pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Okay.” He sat back down in his computer chair, putting his headphones back on. “She's all tucked in and snoring. Should be good to go, now.”

He pretended to ignore the amount of _aww_ 's and _Papa James_ in the chat in favor of not being killed by the dragon. Internally, he was rolling his eyes at the nickname.

 


	29. Lovin' and Fightin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Writing a conversation in text messages gave me a headache. I'm not 100% happy with how it looks. But, you know what? This chapter took way too long to come out, and I'm sorry. I hope it's not confusing. I hope you like my weak attempts at humor. 
> 
> And, I apologize for excessive use of James' new favorite word. And by excessive, I mean it's in there twice. *shrug*

_**STACY:** _  
_Charmanders are red_  
_Mudkips are blue_  
_If you were a Pokemon_  
_I'd choose you_

Rolling his eyes, James laughed. That was the fourth horrible pick up line Stacy had sent him that day. As promised, once he'd gone back to work, Mama and Gram started keeping an eye on his girl so she wouldn't hurt herself. Sitting around all day was not something Stacy was good at, so, naturally, she was bored out of her mind.

And what better way to break the boredom than texting James, annoying him in the process.

_**STACY:** _  
_Do you like bacon?_  
_Wanna strip?_

**_JAMES_ :  
** _That was horrible._

_**STACY:**  
Baby you make my palms sweat, knees weak, arms spaghetti_

**JAMES:**  
_Lose my number_

_**STACY:  
** _ _Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night_

_**JAMES:  
** _ _I hate you_

_**STACY:  
** _ _Do you believe in karma? Cause I know some good karma-sutra positions._

James was ready to throw his phone out of frustration.

_**JAMES:  
** _ _I want a divorce_

“What are you doing?” Aleks broke through his concentration, plopping down beside James on the couch. “You've been looking at your phone and smiling, it's creepy.”

James held his phone out, allowing Aleks to scroll through the last few texts. “She's bored. So I get harassed with horrible pick up lines.”

“Those are terrible. Funny, but terrible.” Aleks laughed. The phone buzzed while still in his hand, making them both look down at the screen.

_**STACY:  
** _ _I'm like a squirrel. I wanna put your nuts in my mouth._

Aleks doubled over laughing, James just rolled his eyes.

Tapping a reply of _Just stop_ , James put his phone on the table.

“Honestly,” Aleks said, still laughing. “Where does she find this shit?”

_**STACY:  
** _ _I might not go down in history, but I'll go down on you._

Aleks, at this point, had commandeered James' phone. The more Stacy text, the more Aleks laughed. Pretty soon the other guys got in on the joke and they began sharing the lines, using them on each other. When it was finally time to go home, and James was in the process of starting his car, there was a tap on the window.

And James made the mistake of rolling the window down.

“You wanna join the circus?” Trevor had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Cause then you can learn to juggle my balls all day.”

“I fucking hate you, Trevor.” James yelled, although there was no real malice in his voice. “Go fuck yourself.”

Trevor jogged to his car, laughing the whole way. James shook his head and began to back up. When he turned the car, his headlights illuminated Aleks, who was making jerk off motions. He met James' eyes and wiggled his eyebrows, mouthing something. James could only assume it was dirty, so he simply honked.

  


Once seated at home, James laid his head back on the couch, stretching his legs and back out. Stacy was sitting next to him, watching.

“You're stretching like a cat.”

James lazily rolled his head toward her, arching an eyebrow.

“Rough day, baby?”

He snorted. “You and those fucking pick up lines. The guys saw them and that's all I heard.”

“I was bored.” Stacy said, laughing. “There's so many more I didn't send, ya know.”

“I figured.” James lifted his arms over his head, stretching until his back popped.

He could feel eyes on him, and looked in Stacy's direction. She was eyeing him, wiggling her eyebrows.

“So, Jamie...”

“What?”

“I was on Tumblr for a while today.” James just snorted. “And the fans were messaging me. They want to know when shirtless pics are coming.”

“They're not.” James said, pushing off the couch and walking toward the kitchen.

Stacy laughed. “You'd break Instagram. Just sayin'.”

“They don't want to see all this.” James had his water in hand and was walking back to the couch.

Stacy just smirked. “I wanna see all of that.”

“What is with you today?” He laughed.

Shrugging, Stacy turned in her seat until she was facing him. “Eh, ya know.”

Her signature phrase usually meant there was something on her mind she didn't want to talk about, or didn't know how to word it. James turned in his seat, mirroring her position.

“Pain pills making you loopy?” She just shrugged again. “Can I have a verbal answer?” James asked, reaching out to brush a piece of hair behind her ear.

She took a deep breath, then opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before finally speaking.

“It's been two weeks, Jamie. I'm tired of everyone acting like I'm fragile. I just wanna go back to being me. And I miss...I miss...being _with_ you.”

James' eyes softened. He knew she hated this. Being unable to do what she wants to do. “I get it, baby. How's your bruises?”

With a roll of her eyes, Stacy gingerly lifted her shirt up, bunching it under her breasts. The bruises faded into nearly perfect horseshoe shapes of deep black, browns and purples. He tenderly reached out, running his fingertips over the marks, feeling her ribs underneath. Because of the fractures and breaks in her ribs, they were healing in bumps and grooves. As his hands roamed, goosebumps were left in their wake, making Stacy gasp.

“Am I hurting you?” James asked, his voice low and raspy. There was something oddly intimate about what they were doing, and it wasn't even remotely sexual.

“No. It tickles.” The corner of her mouth twisted up in a smirk. “The ribs don't hurt as bad anymore, either.”

James nodded. “Doctor said about six weeks until they heal. He was more worried about your head.”

“Karmen said it's healing fine. And she said I'm as crazy as I always was, so no permanent damage. Other than the mood swings, but she's sure those will pass.”

“I'm still having an issue believing your sister is a doctor.” James said with a laugh, running his thumb over the curve of the horseshoe shaped bruise.

Stacy laughed. “Sometimes I do, too. Especially when she trips over a flat floor...”

Her voice trailed off as James' thumb came in contact with the underside of her breast. Her throat went dry as she watched his intense gaze. When he felt her staring, James flicked his eyes up to meet hers.

“What?”

“Nothin'”

He wasn't convinced, and she didn't blame him. After four months of dating, and eight months of just being friends, he could read her like a book. “It's gonna sound stupid.”

“Try me.” James said, holding her head in his hands.

She sighed, looking everywhere but at his eyes. “I miss you. Touching me. God, I'm pathetic.”

“Baby,” James started. “You're not pathetic. I miss you, too, but I'm afraid of hurting you.”

“I know.” She sighed. “I hate this.”

James ran his hands through her hair, kissing her forehead. “I know, baby. I know.”

  


It finally happened. Stacy finally convinced James to let her come back to work. There was a lot of arguing, and pleading, and reminding of how she only sat down to do her job, but it finally happened.

Sadly, with her desk being in the direct eye line of James while he was recording, every time she moved, she got told to sit back down. That was not going to fly with her.

Stacy stood up, on her way to the bathroom, when James yelled across the barn.

“I told you to sit down!”

Stacy whipped around, “I have to fucking piss. Want me to piss on the fucking chair?”

“I want you to be careful.”

“And I want you to record and stop fucking watching me.” Stacy stomped off to the bathroom, flipping James off in the process.

The whole barn went silent, and stayed that way even after Stacy emerged from the bathroom. The moment she got in eye sight of James, the argument started again.

“I'm done. Want to wipe my ass for me?” She yelled. “Wouldn't want to hurt myself.”

James glared at her. “Don't be a cunt.”

He barely dodged whatever it was she threw at him. “What did you fucking say to me?”

“I called you a cunt!”

Before their argument could get any more heated, Aleks bit the bullet and tried to dissolve it with humor.

“Hey, hey. The kids don't like it when Mom and Dad fight.”

Trevor, seeing what Aleks was trying to do, inserted himself into the situation. “Aleks, hold me. I'm scared.”

“Are Mommy and Daddy getting a divorce, Aleks?” Joe asked, laying his head on Aleks' shoulder. “I don't want to change homes.”

“Can I live with Mom?” Aron asked, chewing on a potato chip.

Stacy and James' eyes met as they both broke down laughing.

“Why do you want to live with Mom?” Trevor asked, standing next to James as if taking his side. “Dad's more fun.”

“Mom can cook.” Aron stood up, putting his arm around Stacy. “And she's nicer.”

“Dad's nice.”

“To you.” Aron said, hiding his head in Stacy's shoulder. She patted the side of his head, cooing at him.

Joe held on to Aleks tighter. “See, this is what I'm talking about. Every one is gonna split up.”

Stacy laughed. “Okay, you guys are role-playing this a little too hardcore, now.”

“Me and Mom are fine.” James said, holding out his hand to her. She took it, only half-glaring at him. “See?”

Stacy rolled her eyes, then whispered to James, “I'm telling your mother what you called me.”

The panicked look James gave her sent Stacy into a fit of laughter that may have hurt her ribs a little, but she tried hard not to show it.

 


	30. Can't Escape Your Past

When his phone rang, and James saw his mother's picture pop onto his screen, he internally groaned. Dina had a wonderful knack for calling when the guys were acting up in the background, and this time was no exception. With the incessant sound of Trevor and Aleks arguing, Joe attempting to play mediator, and Aron's laughter, he grabbed his phone and walked out of the barn.

“Hey, Mom.” James said, closing the barn's door behind him, effectively muffling most of the noise from his friends.

“ _Hello, my son.”_ A loud crash came from inside the barn, and James winced. _“What the fuck was that?”_

“I don't know. Not sure I want to know.” James sighed. He did love his friends, but sometimes they could drive him insane.

“ _You at work?”_

“Yeah. We're almost done, so the guys are getting a little wild.” He laughed. Dina laughed with him, but it sounded almost forced. “Mom? What's wrong?”

There was a pause, followed by a deep breath, before Dina spoke again.

“ _Jamie, sweetie...you're father moved back to Lancaster.”_ She paused, in hopes James would respond. He didn't. There was only a sharp intake of breath, then silence. _“He's sober. Released from the program. Honey, he wants to see you again.”_

  
  


The conversation with his mom was still running through his head when he re-entered the barn. Aron and Asher were engaged in an intense arm wrestling match, which was being filmed by Anna. Aleks and Trevor had apparently chosen a side, playing cheerleader to their chosen participant.

Stacy noticed James closing the door, immediately honing in on his discomfort. She cocked her head at him, using her eyes to ask him what was wrong. He brushed her off, instead trying to focus on the arm wrestling match in front of him.

Of course, the red head did not just let things go. She stood next to him, linking their fingers together. It was enough comfort until they were alone, and he could effectively explain his current situation to her.

“Come on, Aron! We're splitting fifty bucks if you win!” Trevor was slapping Aron on the back as he _cheered_ him on. Instead of helping, all it accomplished was making the slight Asian's arm slide across the table.

When Asher gave his final push, Aron's arm hit the table with a loud smack. Aleks whooped, slapping Asher on the back. It then took Aleks nearly twenty minutes to finally get Trevor to hand over the fifty dollars. And then, in an uncharacteristic show of humanity, handed the full amount to Asher.

“You did all the work, dude. Buy your girl something nice.” There was a long silence in the barn before Aleks rolled his eyes. “Jesus, guys. Don't make a big fucking deal out of this.”

His cheeks may have been a little red when he grabbed his jacket and left the barn, but no one commented on that.

  
  


On the way home, Stacy left James in his head, which James greatly appreciated. It wasn't until then he realized how little Stacy knew about his father...about his childhood in general. The subject was always touchy with him, and he had gotten in the habit of not talking about it. He was nearly a master at avoiding the topic all together.

Very few people knew. Joe knew, but he'd known James since school. And Aleks knew. It was only fair once Aleks came clean about his family situation, that James came clean with his. The kind of exchange of information that is common for close friends, he supposed. As for girlfriends? None of his past girlfriends really knew the whole truth, just the facsimile he'd let them believe.

But, this was different. His father was back. His father wanted to see him again, or so his mom said. He needed advice, needed to talk it out...he needed his voice of reason.

They were barely in the front door when Stacy was on him. She turned to face him, put her hand on his cheek, and rubbed her thumb over his cheekbone.

James sang like a songbird.

“I need to tell you about my dad.” He began. She nodded and led him to the couch. Ein was at his feet, begging for attention. James pulled her into his lap, combing his fingers through her soft fur.

“Go ahead, baby. Just talk. I'll read through the lines.” She smiled at him, urging him to continue.

With a deep sigh, and the knowledge that, even if he rambled and made no sense, Stacy would be there to listen, James began talking.

“My dad left when I was...like, eleven, I think. It was sudden. Like, we went to school, came home, and he was gone. Mom said he went to get some help. Dad drank. It started when my grandparents in Puerto Rico died. Before that it was just a beer at dinner or whatever, but then it got worse. You never saw him without some sort of alcohol with him.”

James paused for a second, rubbing Ein behind the ears.

“I have these memories. Dad took me fishing one time. Not my brothers, just me. And me sitting beside him on the couch while he played Resident Evil. He's the reason I love it so much. Then there's these other memories of him being passed out on the couch, or missing the fucking science fair cause he was too drunk to go.”

“Did he go to rehab?” Stacy's voice was small, like she was afraid to speak. Afraid to break through his focus, his memories.

“Yeah,” James nodded, snuggling Ein further into his lap. “Some big place in Florida. He used to send us birthday cards, every year. Then, once, he wrote each of us a letter. It explained a lot of shit, a lot of the shit they kept from us. But...nothing came since then. We all just figured he forgot about us, he moved on.”

Stacy nodded, urging him to continue.

“Mom called today...said Dad's back in Lancaster. He wants to see me again. She's all excited, wants me to drop everything and fly home. Why? It's been fifteen years, Stace. He missed everything.” With a shaky breath he dug his palms into his eyes, equal parts worried and frustrated. “What do I do?”

“Oh, Jamie. I can't make that decision for you.” Stacy bit her lip, contemplating what to say. “I wasn't there for any of this, so I can't even remotely know how that felt for you.”

“It was fifteen years. Does he deserve the chance to see me again?”

Stacy took a deep breath, trying to find the words she wanted to use. “Look, Jamie, I lost my dad nine years ago. When he passed away, I realized there were so many things I regret. The times I was just 'too busy' to go somewhere with him, or just sit with him and talk. All the times I argued with him over stupid shit. All the times I blew off his advice. And that feeling of regret stayed with me for years after. If something were to happen to your dad, I don't want you to have those feelings of regret. I don't want you to live the rest of your life wondering 'what if' instead of trying. And I'm not saying go to PA and let him be your dad again. You're right. He missed fifteen years. You had to teach yourself to be a man when that was his job. It wasn't fair to you, and I understand that. I'm saying, at the very least, you meet as two men meeting. Not father and son, but just two men on equal ground.”

There was a pregnant pause while James took it all in. “I have so many questions.”

“I imagine. And they are all valid questions you have a right to have answered. Maybe this is your chance to get those answers, to get closure.”

They sat there, just talking, for a couple of hours before James finally yawned. The days events taking a toll on him, emotionally and physically. Stacy urged him to bed, to give his brain a break.

He fell asleep with his head on Stacy's stomach as she flicked through YouTube. She had just settled on Cry playing some RPG maker game when James began snoring. With a chuckle, she got the pillows comfortable under her head, made sure Ein was okay, and let the soothing sound of Cry's voice lull her to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the huge lapse in updates. I just...lost my mojo. I was in a bad place and then I got this horrible comment on this story...it just all piled up and I just couldn't write. But...I'm slowly getting back into it. I hope.


	31. Emptiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck has it been a hot minute! I'm so sorry. And then I come back with a chapter in which nothing exciting happens?
> 
> So, I got a comment on this fic. I honestly thought no one cared, so I just kind of tabled it for a later date. And then the comment. They said so many sweet things, and I felt inspired. Yes, this is sort of filler, but I'm getting back into the swing of things, so that's a plus. 
> 
> Again, so sorry to anyone still reading this, or anyone who still wants to read it. I love you. And James is still bae. And, although I'm not promising updates on any set schedule, I will try to finish this story the way I wanted to. *smooches*

James woke up slowly, reveling in the feeling of warmth encompassing him. He scrubbed his free hand over his face, the other being trapped under a warm body. Blinking his eyes open, he was greeted with a yellow shirt and tan fur.

Ein noticed him wake first, immediately scooting her face closer and gently licking the tip of his nose. The warm body under him began to rumble with laughter.

“Aww, Jamie getting kisses?”

He tilted his head back to the source of the voice. Stacy was smiling down at him, her fingers coming down to comb through his mess of hair. He was still lying tight against her, his head previously resting on her stomach. Ein was still crawling over her, trying to finish her job of licking his nose.

“You have morning breath.” James' voice was hoarse from sleep.

“Thanks, dick.” Stacy answered him.

James just snorted. “Not you. Ein.”

There was silence as James fussed over Ein, and Stacy continued playing with his hair.

“Feeling better?” Stacy broke the silence by asking the question that was bouncing around her head. The previous day saw James getting a phone call he never expected. Sadly, it couldn't have came at a worse time. The boys were trying to plan a huge move. This wasn't just them moving from one city to another, or the short move from the house to the garage. This was a whole new state, a little over one thousand miles.

There was a meeting scheduled later that day. Brett had everything ironed out in LA for them, and the last of the details were to be talked over with a Skype call. There was talk of a warehouse, where the owner already knew exactly what the guys were like, and what they did to buildings. Hopefully, there would be no one kicking anyone out this time.

James sighed, deeming that as an answer. How was he supposed to fit in this whirlwind meeting with his dad _and_ a move to another state? It was too much, too close together.

“We have a move to plan. We don't have time for a trip to Lancaster.”

“James.” Stacy stopped him with the tone of her voice. “No, it won't be easy. But I think the quicker you get it over with, the better it will be. Like ripping off a bandaid.”

Huffing, James pushed himself into a sitting position. “ _If_ I have time before the move. If not, he can just wait.”

With that, James hopped off the bed and began walking to the bathroom. Stacy sighed. Apparently that was the end of the conversation.

  
  


The rest of the day went by in a whirlwind of recording. The boys needed enough edited to keep the channel alive until the move was over, which meant recording from morning until evening.

After a long day of recording, and total silence from James on anything related to Pennsylvania or his father, it was time for the meeting with Brett. The Skype call went through as many of the crew gathered around the cow print couch.

“ _Alright, let's get this show on the road.”_ Brett's voice came through the TV as the picture buffered. When it finally cleared, Brett was sitting in his home office. He smiled and waved as a chorus of greetings came from the barn.

Aleks had a notebook on his lap, pen perched between two fingers. “We're ready when you are.”

“ _Okay, first thing: it is my understanding that Aron will not be joining us.”_

Said man nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I got some family things here. Sorry, guys...”

James, whom Aron was sitting beside, grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. “It's alright, man.”

“Family comes first.” Stacy nodded. She realized too late how her statement would come across to James and threw him a sorry look.

Brett, for his part, just nodded along. _“That blows, man. And I'm sorry. But know that, no matter what, you are always welcome to Cow Chop in the future.”_ The group agreed. _“Now, does everyone have their places of residence picked out?”_

“Stacy had her cardboard box on the street corner all set up, right Stace?” Aleks slapped her on the back, smiling brightly down at her from her seat on the floor.

“Go fuck yourself.” She punched him in the leg. “Dick hole.”

The meeting took time, as all the details were ironed out. From the date of the moving trucks, to the amount of time it would take getting from Louvier to LA, the group had two pages of Aleks' notebook filled. Brett described the warehouse he found for them, and that he was getting a sign for the front.

“ _Oh, almost forgot to tell you. A friend of mine from my Machinima days, Lindsay, will be joining us. She's cool, don't worry. She's coming to help out, since we will be busy. And, I'm officially giving us all a week off after the move. We'll need it.”_

With all the last minute details out of the way, and a solid plan in the days moving forward, everyone felt better. The whole situation felt more manageable now more in control.

  
  


The ride home felt longer than it probably should have, with James still keeping quiet. He had his right arm draped over the center console, hand resting on the gear shift. Stacy inched her hand over until it was laying on top of his. With a quick glanced from the corner of his eye, James realized his silent treatment probably made Stacy think he was angry with her. He turned his hand over and laced their fingers together.

“I'm not mad at you.” James' voice was low as he spoke. “I just hate the situation.”

As Stacy squeezed his hand, she sighed. “I know, baby. And, since everything just got kicked into gear, we could wait until the week off?”

James sent her a glance. “You're going with me?”

“I-I just assumed. If you don't want me there-” Stacy stammered, thinking she read the situation wrong.

“No! God no, I definitely want you there. I just wasn't sure you'd wanna go.”

As they pulled into the driveway, Stacy leveled her green eyes at him. “We're in this together. If you want me there, I'll be there. Simple as that.”

James just smiled at her, leaned over the center console, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

  
  


The next couple of weeks went by quickly. Videos were recorded, boxes were packed, and goodbyes were said to friends. When in the midst of the final days of packing, Gram decided the crew needed a break.

“Okay, kids, listen up!” Gram yelled as she entered the barn. “I'm demanding you all take a fucking break.”

“Gram,” Aleks started, but was abruptly cut off by Gram putting a hand over his mouth.

“Shut your Russian ass up and listen. Tonight, when you are done here, come to the house. Me and Diana have made food, and you will all eat. The fact that you all have became family here means we demand a proper goodbye. And that goodbye will start with food and some alcohol. Then, if you are good kids, maybe some dessert.”

Aleks mumbled something from behind her hand, which Gram finally took off his mouth. Aleks repeated, “Blow job for dessert?”

“Yeah, sure.” Gram shrugged. “But you can't blow James in front of the entire house, so pick somewhere secluded.”

The barn erupted in laughter.

  
  


The Cow Chop crew was tired and sweaty, but they made their way to the farm house. The whole house was lit up, the smell of food wafting out the open windows. Everyone was hungry, their stomachs rumbling at the smell.

The second Asher opened the door, Gram and Mama was on them. Fussing over them, they ushered the group in the house and straight to the kitchen. The long dining room table was filled with food. As usual, the two women cooked way more than was needed.

Karmen came around the kitchen door way, pitcher of iced tea in hand. “Yeah, they pulled out all the stops tonight.” She said in response to seeing all their shocked faces.

“That's a word for it.” Anna breathed out.

When everyone had their fill, and the family knew everything the group did about the move, the tears started. Surprisingly to everyone, it was Gram who broke down first.

“I'm gonna fucking miss you kids.” She said in between sobs.

Mama joined soon after, which started Stacy, Anna, and Karmen.

By the time the sun had set, and the lightning bugs began flickering, the entire group was all hugged and cried out. An entire box of tissues was tossed in the garbage as they all got ready to leave.

As everyone got into their cars, and the last of the tail lights disappeared from the drive, Gram realized the farm house felt immensely emptier than it should have felt.

 


End file.
